Love Always, Cassi
by purplePhenomena
Summary: Cassi Sinclaire is far from perfect. Her days at Hogwarts aren't the easiest, even with James Potter as her friend. Going head to head with Slytherins and Marauders alike couldn't be easy. She hates Sirius Black, so why can't she get him out of her head?
1. Prologue

**Love Always, Cassi** Sirius x OC

PROLOUGE

Cassieopia Alistar Sinclaire was born blessed. Or so it seemed. She was the eldest daughter of Romulus and Aphrodite Sinclaire. She and her younger sister Alessandrea, were blond, beautiful, and obedient. At age nine,

Cassieopia was presented to pureblood society.

Cassi took several deep breaths, standing outside the drawing room of Number 12, Grimmauld Place. She shook Drea's hand off of hers, giving her eight year old sister a glare. She pushed open the doors. Five heads

turned to face the sisters. The children of pureblood society were always well mannered, appearing as miniature adults. Walking into the room, the eldest child stood up to introduce herself. "My name is Andromeda

Black. I'm fourteen." The girl was tall, and pretty, with long, light brown hair and chocolate eyes. She smiled. "These are my sisters, Narcissa," she said, indicating a haughty blond girl with ice blue eyes, sitting on the

couch next to her. "She's eleven. She'll start at Hogwarts in the fall. And this is Bellatrix, who is nine." She pointed to the last girl, sitting by herself in a high backed arm chair. Her arms were crossed as she examined

the Sinclaire sisters. Her wild ebony curls gave her the appearance of height. Her deep blue, almost black eyes were hard and cold. Her pale skin seemed white in contrast. She cocked an eyebrow, and smiled a very

vampiric smile. "My sister has forgotten to introduce our dear cousins," said Bellatrix, in a low voice. It was startilingly musical, but strange, coming from the mouth of a child. "That's all right, Trixie, we can introduce

ourselves." Cassi's head spun to face the only boys in the room. They were obviously brothers, but very different. The boy who had spoken was older, but only just. His black hair fell into light gray eyes, framing his

nine-year old face. He smirked at his cousin. The second boy's eyes were just as light, but without the mischevious air his brother's held. His black hair was short and only just reached his eyebrows. "I'm Sirius, Sirius

Black." Said the first boy. "I'm nine." The other boy smiled shyly at Drea before saying, "Regulus Black. Eight." Cassi nodded to them before taking a breath, saying, "My name is Cassieopia Sinclaire. This is my sister,

Alessandrea. I am nine, and she is eight." Upon hearing the last names of the blond girls, Bellatrix raised her head, Narcissa leaned forward, and Sirius Black's eyes widened. With good reason, for the Sinclaires were

one of the most prestigious pureblood families. Narcissa smiled more warmly, and beckoned to Drea, who obediently went and sat at her feet, leaving Cassi to pick her own seat. She was nearest the sofa were the

Black Brothers sat, so she perched delicately between Sirius and the chair were Bellatrix sat. As Narcissa and Drea began a conversation that mostly consisted of Narcissa babying Drea, Bellatrix and Sirius began to

argue. They were obviously continuing a previous disagreement. Cassi settled more comfortably into her chair and closed her eyes, sure that this night would be a long one.


	2. All His Fault

Chapter 1

Cassi hated going to Grimmauld place. She really did. Every month, the stuck up members of pureblooded society gathered at some house to socialize. Cassi had to wear nice clothes, keep clean, be quiet, and stay out of the way. Those were four things she had never been very good at. Cassi, at ten, was loud, messy, and eye catching. It wasn't in her nature to be quiet. But, there was one light at the end of the tunnel, and that light's name was Sirius Black. When she had first gone to Grimmauld Place, almost a year ago, Sirius had intimidated her. Now, he was her best friend. They were always together at the functions, it wasn't possible for them to separate.

Cassi might have been loud, but she wasn't devious. Sirius would roll his eyes and say "You don't have a false bone in your body." This statement always confused Cassi. When she asked Sirius what it meant, he admitted he had absolutely no idea. He had heard his father say that to one of the many men who came to do business with him. Cassi shrugged, not particularly worried, and figured it had to do with bone re-growth.

Sirius, on the other hand, was very sneaky. He was gifted at playing pranks, and that's what they did. It amused them to no end to see Druella Black slip on honey, or see Narcissa's face when her drink was not what she had expected. They were caught sometimes, of course. Mostly, though, they were safe.

This particular day was bound to be bad. Not only was this a pureblood get together, but they were also meeting to discuss Lord Voldemort. Cassi hated the idea of the man, or she thought she would based on what her mother said. Cassi sat irritably in the sitting room of Grimmauld Place, the room traditionally reserved for the children. She was sitting next to Narcissa Black, which she was highly displeased with. Drea sat at her customary place at Narcissa's feet. It made Cassi sick to see her normally strong-willed sister turned to putty by the stuck up blond. She was only waiting on Sirius. She happened to glance at the door. She stiffened as she saw Sirius poke his head around the door. She quickly excused herself to go to the bathroom and practically ran to where Sirius was waiting just outside the door. She beamed, and whispered, "Siri! What's the plan this time?" Sirius grinned. "Total chaos." To his surprise, Cassi frowned and bit her lip. "What's the matter, Cass? Scared?" Cassi glared at him. "No! Just, not so sure that this is the best idea. Couldn't we skip the prank this time?" Sirius' jaw dropped. "Forget the prank? Have you gone crazy? Cass, this the best idea ever!"

"But, you see, Lord Voldmort himself is going to be here, and I just don't think-"

"You know what, who cares what you think? I'll do it without you!" With that, Sirius ran off. Face pale, Cassi whispered, "Siri? Siri? Were are you?" She walked off, trying to follow Sirius. She would never admit it to Sirius, but his house creeped her out. She crept down the stairs, hardly daring to breathe. "Siri?" She whispered one more time. She was on the man level now, with the heads of the house elves staring down at her. She swallowed. Suddenly, the front door began to open. She froze, eyes wide with fright. She swung her head around, desperately looking for a place to hide. She couldn't find one, so she flattened herself against the wall, praying that no one would notice her. The door finished opening, and a man stepped in. She couldn't see him very well between the rails of the stairs, but he was tall, his face shadowed by the hood of his cloak. Cassi felt cold inside. Walburga and Orion Black greeted the man, their voices mixing with the voices of other purebloods. Cassi watched, hoping that no one would see her. But that hope was in vain. The man who had just come in noticed her, and, walking faster than Cassi would have thought possible, pulled her firmly away from the wall. He had removed his hood, and Cassi saw, to her horror, his white skin, his slitted nostrils, and, perhaps worst of all, his bright red eyes, the color of blood. "Who's this little one?" asked the man in a high, cold voice. Cassi's father stepped forward to answer him. "That, my Lord, is my eldest daughter, Cassieopia." The glare her father was giving her made it quite obvious she was in trouble. "Ah, a little Sinclaire. Tell me, child, why are you down here?" Cassi swallowed, hardly daring to breathe. "I-I-I w-w-was l-l-looking for a b-b-bathroom, s-s-sir." She finally managed to stutter out. "Ah. Of course you were. Well, run along. We wouldn't want to upset Mummy and Daddy, now would we?" by the colors her parents were turning, it was too late for that.

That night, Cassi was flung, screaming, into her room. Her father, his face an ugly shade of puce, said, "Maybe that will teach you to stay out of the way of the Dark Lord, you brat!" He slammed the door with such force that the picture of her and Sirius, taken last summer, fell off the wall. She picked it up, wincing as she cut her hand on the broken glass. The bright red of her blood reminded her all too well of the Dark Lord's eyes. She stared at the picture, watching Sirius laugh as if nothing was wrong. One tear, then two, fell on his face. Cassi swallowed, suddenly angry. This was all his fault! If he hadn't made such stupid plans, if he hadn't been such an obstinate boy, hadn't gone running off, this never would have happened. It was all his fault.


	3. New Friends

**Author's Note: Sorry the chapter is kinda short. The next one will be longer!**

"Cassieopia! Hurry up! We haven't got all day." Cassi turned from where she had been watching a boy with messy black hair and glasses argue with his parents. "Sorry, Mother." Cassi replied. She pulled her trunk behind her, mounting the stairs to the train.

She was one of the first people on the train, so she would have no problem finding an empty compartment. She came upon Narcissa Black, the venomous third year, talking and fluttering her eyelashes at a blond boy Cassi recognized as Lucius Malfoy. She was almost past them when Narcissa turned, and, in her highest, fakest soprano, said, "Cassi Sinclaire? Darling, is that you? Oh you must be starting this year, how lovely. Tell your sister I say hello." With that, she turned back to Lucius.

Cassi made sure to turn around before rolling her eyes, just in case she was sorted into Slytherin and needed friends in high places. She had never really been great friends with Narcissa, but that could change, if it had to. Cassi flicked her golden curls over her shoulder. They were long, almost past her elbows, and heavy. But Cassi loved them. She loved them because her mother hated them.

She had found an empty compartment and was trying to open the door when she heard footsteps. She turned to find the thin face and hazel eyes of the boy she had been watching on the platform. "Need some help?" he asked, smiling. "My name is James Potter." After a pause, Cassi said "My name is Cassieopia Sinclaire. But, you can call me Cassi." She noticed, with pleasure, that James' eyes didn't widen at her last name. Among the purebloods, the Sinclaires were treated like royalty, the ones to know. Obviously, she couldn't expect that same treatment here. The thought made her smile.

She accepted his help, then settled down to read. She hardly noticed when James bumped into someone in the corridor, and she didn't hear at all the familiar voice of Sirius Black, her estranged friend, apologizing.

It had been almost an hour since the train started moving when the door slid open. Cassi looked up. Bellatrix Black looked back. "Hello, Cassi, this is Rodolphus Lestrange, Evan Rosier, and Harvey Yaxley. Everyone, this is Cassi Sinclaire. Goodbye." The door slid closed and Cassi let out a relieved sigh. She had been worried that Bellatrix and her friends would insist on sitting with her, but they hadn't.

She went on, happily reading, for another fifteen minutes before the door slid open again. This time, it wasn't Bellatrix, but a redhead girl she didn't recognize. The girl, only sticking her head inside the compartment, asked, "Do you mind if we sit here?" Cassi shook her head. The girl opened the door all the way, and walked in, leading a pale boy with black hair into the compartment. "Hi. I'm Lily Evans." Said the girl. "And this is Severus Snape." Cassi glanced up. "Cassi Sinclaire."

Almost five minutes had passed before Lily awkwardly spoke up. "So, what house do you want to go to?" Cassi closed her book with a snap, glaring at Lily. "I'll practically be disowned if I go to any house other than Slytherin."

"Oh. Well, we just met a boy like you, down in the compartment we had been sitting in. He said his whole family has been in Slytherin. You don't hate Muggleborns, do you?"

"If they have, I probably know him. And of course not! Just because my whole family has been in Slytherin and hates them with a fiery passion doesn't mean I have to as well! No, not a chance in hell. But why did you leave that compartment to sit with me?"

"Oh. Good!" The corners of Lily's mouth turned down. "This really rude boy was making fun of Sev. So, we left." Cassi glanced at the boy. She did a double take when she saw his hooked nose and swallow skin. "You're not one of the Princes, are you?" She asked. Lily said, "No, his name is Severus Snape, I told you. There are no Wizarding princes, so I don't understand how-"

"I meant the family Prince. Eileen Prince, really. She went and married some Muggle, they were still talking about it at the August Function."

"My mother." Replied Severus.

"Ah. So, Lily, what house do you want to be in?"

"I want to be in Ravenclaw, maybe, or Slytherin. Maybe we can all be in a house together!"


	4. Sorting and Suprises

Chapter 3

The feast looked just as wonderful as Andromeda had always said. Looking at the table under the green hangings, she saw many people she knew, one of the side affects of being a pureblood. Andromeda Black waved a little to her before turning to face the boy on her left.

Cassi stared at the ceiling as the Sorting Hat sang, not really paying attention until she heard "Black, Bellatrix" being read out. Oops, she must have missed the first couple of names. The Hat had been on Bellatrix's head for all of half a second before screaming out "SLYTHERIN!" The Slytherin table erupted into cheers, and Bellatrix sauntered off to a seat next to Narcissa, looking very proud of herself.

"Black, Sirius!" was the next name read. Cassi automatically stiffened at the name of her former best friend. Sirius slunk up to the stool, winking at Lily Evans as he passed, making her turn bright red, and giving Cassi a glare. She glared right back, letting him know that nothing had changed between them. Sirius slouched on the stool, plopped the Sorting Hat on his head, and waited. The Hall was deathly quiet while the Hat pondered whatever it was or, and Cassi smirked at this thought, wasn't finding inside Sirius' head. After almost five full minutes, the Hat shouted out "GRYFFINDOR!" Cassi felt her jaw drop. Narcissa let out a half scream and Bellatrix looked like she was about to strangle someone. Sirius' own eyes were huge as he lifted the Sorting Hat off his head. He didn't even bother to glare at Cassi as he passed, lost in a dream state of disbelief.

Cassi was worried. Sirius' Sorting had showed her that she wasn't going to Slytherin as definitely as she had thought. What would her parents say if she went to another house? Ravenclaw wouldn't be so bad, but imagine Hufflepuff! Or, almost worse than that, Gryffindor, like Sirius! She would be ridiculed! Maybe even disowned! She could hardly breathe, wishing her name was something other than Sinclaire, something closer to the start of the alphabet, so the horror would go away. She could barely hear "Evans, Lily" being Sorted into Gryffindor, or the moan that Severus let out as she walked to the table, reluctantly taking a seat diagonal from Sirius Black.

"Longbottom, Frank" became a Ravenclaw, and "Lupin, Remus", a Gryffindor. Cassi was zoning in and out of her thoughts, hardly paying attention.

She vaguely heard "McDonald, Mary" ,"McKinnon, Marlene", and "Meadowes, Dorcas" being Sorted into Gryffindor. She only remembered it because the last name had her choking back laughter, which quickly built into hysteria inside her chest. A hand clamped over her mouth made sure she didn't laugh, but she saw Dorcas shooting her daggers, whispering something to Marlene McKinnon.

"Pettigrew, Peter" became a Gryffindor, and Cassi tried to focus, because next was sure to be "Potter, James". James had been so nice to her on the train, she thought it might almost be worth it to be in Gryffindor if he was in it as well. Sure enough, he became a Gryffindor, and ran off, beaming happily, to sit next to none other than Sirius Black. Cassi had more to dwell on over this, and she missed the next few names. "Sinclaire, Cassieopia", made her zone back in. She blushed, and began to walk to the stool. Around the Hall, she could hear whispers, like little paper birds, flying, probably over her last name. Bellatrix waved to her, smirking, and probably setting her place as royalty among the Slytherins for knowing a Sinclaire. Cassi gulped, so nervous, and lowered the Hat slowly onto her head.

"Hmmmm…." whispered a voice in her ear. "Tough descision. Smart, yes, but not, perhaps, Ravenclaw material." Cassi irritably wondered what that was supposed to mean. "Oh, nothing. You don't like work enough to be a Ravenclaw. Definitely not a Hufflepuff." At this statement, Cassi sank with relief. "So, didn't want to be a Hufflepuff. Interesting choice I have now. Slytherin, where the blood of your fathers demands you go, or Gryffindor, where your personality requires you. Lets see. Bravery, oh yes, I see that, and hidden strength, perhaps. Plenty of cunning, but I can see no ambition. Very well, you must be….GRYFFINDOR!"

Cassi saw light returning behind her scrunched eyelids. When she dared to open her eyes, she saw Bellatrix glaring daggers at her, unwilling to believe that pureblood royalty was not in Slytherin. She noticed, also, most of the Slytherins were shocked, and Narcissa had actually fainted. Although, as she was leaning into Lucius Malfoy, one couldn't really be certain.

Cassi walked to the Gryffindor table, hardly daring to believe what she was doing. She saw Lily Evans waving excitedly at her, beckoning her to sit next to her. She sat across from a sandy haired boy that Cassi was quite sure was named Remus Lupin, and on either side of him were James Potter and Sirius Black. Cassi chose to sit on the side of Lily closest to James, who grinned at her, obviously pleased that they were in the same house. On Lily's other side, across from Sirius, was a girl Cassi thought might be Alice Carr. As she sat down, she noticed that Dorcas Meadowes was subtly glaring at her, along with Marlene McKinnon. Mary AcDonald was whispering to Marlene.

All through the meal, she could feel the stares of the Slytherins on her back, making her cheeks heat up.

She was happy to be in Gryffindor, but had yet to decide if that was a good thing or not.


	5. Summers and Screaming

More than two years had passed since that fateful day when Cassi Sinclaire officially became a Gryffindor. People still couldn't get over it. She was forced to be alone during the pureblood functions, which she was surprised to still be going to. She had only Drea for company, and that was only when Narcissa let her go. It was miserable. It was even more miserable because Sirius Black should have been there to help her get through the pain of the pureblood functions. But she and Sirius hadn't ever made up from their fight. And even though James Potter was best friends with both Sirius and Cassi, they never spoke. They pretended that they had never known each other, and simply didn't get along. It wasn't true, but nobody in Gryffindor knew that.

Cassi stood at a distance from her family. Her mother was practically smothering Drea with a goodbye hug, and her father watched them proudly, because Drea wasn't the shame of the family, the smudge on the otherwise impeccable name of Sinclaire. Or so her father said. Cassi, personally, was only interested in finding Lily and Alice. She half -heartedly waved goodbye to her family, then trotted off just as quickly as she could. This year, the third year, would be the best year yet. The best because Cassi would try out for the Quidditch team, could finally go to Hogsmeade, and maybe, just maybe, not have any classes with the Slytherins.

Cassi tucked her trunk away quickly before running up the aisles of the train, trying to find Alice and Lily. She couldn't find them yet, but she did find one James Potter. He didn't see her at first, because he was busy talking to Sirius. She snuck up behind him and yelled "BOO!" at the top of her lungs. She swore he jumped a foot. James spun around. "CASS!!" He yelled. He hugged her with such force she could have sworn her ribs were breaking. "How was your summer?" he questioned. "Good, good, I guess. We went to France, very nice beaches. My family mostly ignored me, so that was okay. What about you?" James smirked. "We didn't go anywhere, so I spent the whole summer training for Quidditch. I'm SO going to make the team this year!" Cassi grimaced. "Yeah, that's all Drea would talk about. She's just so excited she can finally try out. She and Reg are both trying out, you know?" Sirius' head perked up. "My brother, Reg?" Cassi nodded, coldly. Sirius snorted. "That boy couldn't catch a Snitch if it was right in front of his face." Cassi glared. "You don't have to be so mean, Sirius!"

"Me, mean? That's ridiculous."

"Really? I'm pretty sure saying your own brother can't catch a Snitch is pretty mean."

Sirius turned a funny shade of white. "He is no brother of mine." With that, he stalked off. James gave Cassi an apologetic look before following Sirius.

Cassi sighed. She and Sirius couldn't even have a conversation without it turning into an argument. She forced herself to put Sirius from her mind as she went to find Lily.

Cassi had settled down into a compartment. She had just opened a book when the door crashed open. Lily Evans practically flew into the compartment, screaming, "CASSI!!!" Cassi threw her book, stood up, and yelled, "LILY!!!" right back. The girls hugged, dancing around for a few minutes before finally sitting. Lily's hair glowed from all the sun she had gotten, although her skin was still just as pale. Her green eyes sparkled, and she looked the very picture of happiness. Cassi smiled back. Her long curls had gotten longer and blonder over the summer, contrasting well with her tanned skin. She and Lily were having an animated discussion about their summers when the missing piece, Alice Carr, walked in. "Hey, hey, hey, girlies!" she said, spreading her arms. Cassi and Lily yelled in unison, "ALICE!!!" and ran to hug the final part of their trio. Alice sat across from Cassi, whose long legs filled the seats next to her. Alice looked good. Her hazel eyes glowed, and long dark brown hair framed her face. The girls spent their entire time on the train talking. It was a custom.

It was just beginning to get dark when James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter burst into the room. James stopped at the door, but Sirius didn't get the picture, and bowled him over. Peter fell into the compartment, tripping over the tangled robes of his friends. Remus stood and shook his head at his friend's foolishness. He went to sit in between Alice and Lily. Sirius sprang up and sat on Alice's other side. James straightened up, dusting himself off, and sat next to Cassi, draping a friendly arm over her shoulders. Peter, slightly embarrassed, sat next to James.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't everyone's favorite girls!" said James. Cassi rolled her eyes and shrugged James' arm off her shoulders. Remus smiled all around. "Hi, Lily, Alice, Cassi." he said. Cassi sighed. She and Remus had never really been close, because he was too quiet for her tastes. But he and Lily got on well, and they struck up a conversation. James engaged Alice in a conversation about their summers, leaving Cassi and Sirius awkwardly facing each other as Peter went to the bathroom. "Uh…" Cassi started, so eloquently. Sirius bit his lip.

"Cass…"

She stiffened. Sirius hadn't called her that in years. She looked down, fighting tears at all the memories from the children's parlor at Number 12, Grimmauld Place. "Cass," he started again, "I want to say I'm sorry. You never gave me a chance to apologize." Cassi looked up, glaring at him. "That's because I didn't want your apology. I hated you then, and I hate you now. You have no idea what I went through as a result of that night. NO IDEA." Now, everyone in the compartment was looking at them. "Well, FINE." Sirius shouted. "I WAS JUST TRYING TO MAKE UP, BUT YOU HAD TO GO AND BE SUCH A B-"

"DON'T EVEN FINISH THAT STATEMENT, SIRIUS BLACK. I HATE YOU. I HATE HATE HATE YOU! YOU PUT ME THROUGH SO MUCH CRAP, AND IT TOOK YOU THIS LONG TO APOLOGZIE? WELL IT'S A LITTLE LATE FOR THAT, BUD." Her voice dropped to a whisper. "I will never forgive you."

She turned away, avoiding his burning gray eyes as he stood up, saying. "Fine. If that's how you want it to be, that's fine." He stormed out of the room. The Marauders, looking confused, followed him.

Once they had all gotten out of the compartment, Lily and Alice turned to stare at Cassi. The little room was deathly silent.

And Cassi burst into tears.


	6. The Start of Term Feast and Memories

**There's a little bit of cursing in this one. Just a tad. Oh, and I guess I better say:**

**DISCLAIMER: Anything you recognize, I do not own, and everything is J.K. Rowling's. Lucky b******

The start of term feast was very awkward that year. James sat between Cassi and Sirius, desperate to keep the peace, while still making his Lily notice him. Alice was intent on making Sirius and Cassi make up, and Lily wanted to know why they had fought. Cassi and Sirius were determinedly ignoring each other, while both were also trying to get Lily to talk with James. Remus was just trying to stay out of it all together, and Peter was out of it, unconcerned, as he had missed the entire argument.

James sat stiffly as he reached for a turkey leg. Cassi pointedly asked him to pass the mashed potatoes, which were a little far away. He tried, ending up trailing the sleeve of his robe through gravy. Lily laughed, rather nastily, at this, and tried for the millionth time to get Cassi to tell her what was wrong. Cassi mumbled "None of your business," before shoving her face full of mashed potatoes. Her cheeks bulged unpleasantly, and Sirius laughed meanly. "What a little piggy we have here, eh, boys? Got enough to eat there, Cass?" Cassi swallowed, stood up, ignoring the stares of everyone around her, and ran out of the Great Hall. She refused to let the tears fall until she was safely running up the stairs.

Back in the Great Hall, Lily was staring at Sirius in horror. Alice was gaping like a fish, and James was glaring. Even Remus looked upset with Sirius. He didn't seem to notice, though, and went on eating. After two minutes of silence, he looked up. Noticing everyone was staring at him, he said, "What?" Only silence responded to his question. Lily turned to James, spitting, "Why can't you control your friend, Potter?" before getting up from the table and following Cassi outside. Alice groaned and put her head on the table, shoving away her plate. James gaped after Lily, and Remus shook his head.

Cassi lay on her bed, sobbing. She was thankful that none of the other girls were there yet. Crying, twice in the same day? Cassi was shocked and appalled at herself. And all over Sirius. She took a deep breath, rolling over to stare at the ceiling, concealed by red velvet. She didn't see the velvet, though, instead she saw Sirius' gray eyes, flashing in anger, staring straight back at her.

Lily was out of breath by the time she reached the dorm. She panted a little, stopping at the doorframe. She saw Cassi, splayed over her bed, golden curls shining dimly in the moonlight. Her eyes were staring straight up. "Sirius is a real jerk, isn't he?" said Lily. Cassi didn't move. "I mean," continued Lily, "he calls you a pig, which was totally uncalled for, and then that ass Potter doesn't even stick up for you, even though you're really good friends with him, and they all just let it slide. I hate what total…UGH. I don't even know a word bad enough for them, I guess. Maybe bastards. It really does-"

"Lily." Cassi cut her off. "You're not helping." With that, she pulled the curtains around her bed, curling up in a little ball. She prayed she would have to see his eyes if she turned away from the ceiling, but it was like they were embedded on her eyeballs. She squeezed her eyes shut, but all that did was make the rest of his face appear before her. Her eyes opened a fraction, and Sirius' face swam before her. She hardly realized the silent tears that were streaming down her face. She had thought she had put all this behind her years ago, but obviously, she hadn't.

Sirius lay in his bed, still fully clothed, though the rest of the boys were wearing their pajamas. His eyes were closed, and he was thinking of Cassi, replaying in his head, over and over again, the very minute their friendship had fallen apart.

_He could see her, as she had stood, in all her ten year old glory, sky blue robes rippling in the moonlight that slanted from the tall window at the end of the hall. She had her arms crossed, refusing to speak. Her golden curls bounced around her face and shoulders as she swung her head to face away from him once again. Cassi turned away, saying, "No, Siri, I don't want excuses! DO you even know what they did to me, all because of you?" Sirius had replied, "No! I never asked you to follow me, you chose that!"_

"_And you think I could have left, knowing full well what you were about to do? No, Sirius. No, I couldn't have." Cassi planted her hands on her hips. The bracelet that he had given her, the silver charm dangling off the end, caught the moonlight for a brief instant. She frowned, turning to leave._

"_Cass, wait!" he caught her wrist, just over the charm bracelet. She had glared at him, her sky blue eyes dark with anger. She had said, "No, Sirius. I hate you. I hate you, and I never want to see you again." With that, she had pulled her hand out of his grasp, breaking the clasp on the delicate bracelet. It had fallen noiselessly to the thick carpeting, glowing slightly, as it lay abandoned. Cassi didn't notice, or maybe, she just didn't care. She stalked off, curls streaming like a banner behind her, slamming the door as she re-entered the parlor. Sirius stared at the forlorn bracelet. He knelt to pick it up. The tiny charm was a dog, a small silver dog. It was Cassi's favorite animal. They had used to joke about that, that Sirius, named after the Dog Star, would be her best friend. But they would never joke again. Sirius felt a hard lump in his throat that he couldn't swallow away, and, for the first and only time in his life, Sirius Black cried. His tears splashed onto the charm, the silver chain it was attached to. He closed his fist, shoving the bracelet into the pocket of his robes. He roughly wiped the tears away, then went to open the door, and act like nothing was wrong, when his world had gone gray inside._

Sirius sighed, and rolled over. He pretended to be asleep, for his friend's sake, then, when he was certain they were all sleeping, he knelt by his trunk. From the very bottom, he pulled a small black box, inlaid with the Black crest. The box opened with a snap when he slid his fingernail into the seam. Inside, nestled on black velvet, was the tiny dog charm, still connected to the silver chain, broken clasp contrasting all too well with the midnight velvet.


	7. Tryouts and Stupidity

Almost a month had passed since the start of term fight, and neither Cassi nor Sirius had said a word to each other. James was getting sick of being stuck in the middle while they made snide comments about each other to him. He wanted this fight over. He wanted them to be, well, not friends, that was impossible, but maybe just civil.

The ringing of the alarm clock in James' ear was starting to get annoying. He rolled over, sticking his head back under the pillow and wondering why Remus hadn't tried to wake him up yet. Then he sat bolt upright, having remembered. It was Saturday. And not just any Saturday, but THE Saturday. The Quidditch Tryout Saturday. Which explained why it was 7:30 am. James practically ran to the bathroom. He didn't have time to shower, so he just brushed his teeth and tried, futilely, to run a comb through his messy black hair.

By the time he was out of the bathroom, Sirius was sitting on the floor by his bed, tying his shoelaces. And that was when James remembered why he had a feeling of dread hanging over him. James and Sirius weren't the only Gryffindor third years trying out for the team. One Cassi Sinclaire would be trying out too. Undoubtedly, Sirius and Cassi would spend the whole time insulting each other just within the other's hearing range. James suppressed a groan and hurried to get dressed.

Walking down the stairs, brooms slung over their shoulders, James and Sirius were discussing the tryouts. Sirius stopped dead when he reached the couch in front of the fire. Sitting cross-legged on the couch, polishing her broom handle, was Cassi. Her blond hair was done up in a tight French braid. Even so, her hair still reached her waist. She glanced up. "James!" she said, smiling, "You ready?" James nodded and smiled back, until he caught Sirius' eye and stopped smiling.

The trio walked toward the portrait hole, not saying a word. The silence continued all the way down into the Great Hall. The whole way, Cassi was fuming. She was strangely self-conscious, and she didn't think it was James that was making her feel that way. Cassi sat at the Gryffindor table, having a clear view of the Slytherins, while James and Sirius resumed their conversation.

She saw her little sister, short gold bob glimmering as she talked and laughed with Regulus Black. Bellatrix sat across from them, smirking at the couple, obviously plotting something. Bellatrix happened to glance over to where Cassi sat. She raised an eyebrow, and smirked evilly. Cassi glared back, then dropped her gaze. Bellatrix whispered something to Drea, who promptly looked up, staring at her sister, across the Hall.

Biting her lip, Drea stood up, leaving a fuming Bellatrix and a confused Regulus behind. She crossed to the Gryffindor table. Standing awkwardly before Cassi, she said, in her quiet voice, "Good luck today, Cass." She smiled. Before she could turn to go, Sirius saw her. "Oi! Little Drea!" Drea turned around, her eyes wide, "Y-y-yes, Sirius?" Drea had always been intimidated by Sirius' boldness. Sirius smirked, "Tell my brother he'll need all the luck you can give him, if you know what I mean." He winked. Drea's mouth fell open, and her eyes got huge. She promptly pressed her mouth into a thin line, and stalked away, without responding to Sirius' comment.

Cassi turned on Sirius, speaking to him for the first time in almost a month. "What the hell, Black? Why would you say something like that? Have you lost your pitiful excuse for a brain? She was just trying to be nice to me! That's no reason to provoke my sister, or say things like that to her! She's only a second year! You disgust me." With that, she whirled away, breakfast forgotten, and stormed out of the Great Hall. James turned to Sirius. "That was Cassi's sister?" Sirius nodded. "Mate, why would you say something like that? You knew she was going to be provoked!" Sirius glared after Cassi. "That's exactly what I wanted."

By the time Sirius and James made their way to the pitch, Cassi was already in the air, practicing her dives and turns high above the field. On the ground, Malcolm Wood, a sixth year, watched her. He whistled, then turned to James and Sirius. "Hope you guys can fly like that, if you can, we have a shot at actually winning the Cup this year!" James smiled while Sirius sulked, upset that Cassi had been so highly praised by the Captain. "OI! CASSI!" Wood shouted, "GET DOWN HERE!" Cassi turned, going into a steep dive before pulling up, her toes just brushing the grass. Wood grinned. "Nice job!" Cassi smiled in return. "Alright! Let's get the tryouts started!" Those trying out cheered.

Wood had set up a mock Quidditch game, with each person flying for the position they wanted. Sirius hefted his Beater's bat, swinging it through the air, while James talked to the two other Chasers, Royce Bell and Delia Yew. Cassi was talking to Wood, the Keeper, about tactics and strategy. After their conversation had gone on long enough, Royce yelled, "OI! CAPTAIN! We going to get started or what?" Wood turned away from Cassi, still smiling, and said, "OKAY! Everyone up in the air!" All the people trying out flew up, taking the starting positions. Wood blew a whistle. Cassi shot off the ground. Her competitor was a fifth year, Quinton Johnson. Cassi flew high above the rest of the players, watching as James managed to fly between the Keeper and the posts and score. He smiled, then waved to Cassi, who waved back.

As she did, she noticed Sirius, slightly behind James, and what was fluttering around his ankle. The Snitch. Quinton was on the other side of the pitch.

Cassi dove, almost straight down, not seeing anything but the Snitch. The wind pounded on her shoulders, trying to stop her from reaching the Snitch.

She corkscrewed, desperate to go faster, to get the small golden ball safely in her hand. She tore towards the ground, and, split seconds before she caught the Snitch, she glimpsed Sirius' face.

His gray eyes were huge, his mouth partly open. The corners of his mouth were slightly turned up, and she passed so close to his face, the tendrils around her face touched his chest. Then she was past him, her hand closed around the golden ball.

She tried to pull out of her dive, but the corkscrewing had taken her over the handle of the broom. Before she quite realized what was happening, she was dangling by one hand from the broom as it sank lower and lower towards the ground. Six feet above the ground, she couldn't hold on anymore, and let go, landing with a thump on the grassy pitch. The other members of the team landed around her. Most had their mouth wide open. Sirius looked slightly shell-shocked, and James had a stupid half grin on his face.

Right before her stood Malcolm Wood. He was glaring at her. "What was that for, Sinclaire? You could have killed yourself, you could have been the first-" He was cut off by Cassi holding up the Snitch. "You caught the Snitch." He said, dumbfounded. "I'll be damned."


	8. Quidditch

After Cassi's incredible catch, there was no doubt who was going to be the Seeker for the Gryffindor team. James and Sirius, however, had to wait for the list to be posted almost two full days later. During that time, Cassi studiously avoided Sirius, trying to ignore the way his face had looked in that brief millisecond where she had grazed past him. It wasn't easy.

Lily, Alice, and Cassi sat in the common room, doing homework, or, more accurately, Cassi and Alice were copying from Lily, while she revised their essays. Rolling her eyes, she handed a Potions essay back to Alice. "I swear, this is going to be the last time I ever- Cassi?" Cassi had suddenly stood up when Malcolm Wood had walked into the common room, holding a piece of parchment in his hands. Over by the fire, James and Sirius' heads perked up. Malcolm pinned the list to a bulletin board, before winking at Cassi, who grinned in return. She practically ran to the bulletin board. The notice said:

Gryffindor Quidditch Team:

Keeper: Malcolm Wood

Chasers: Royce Bell, Delia Yew, and James Potter

Beaters: Horace Riley, Sirius Black

Seeker: Cassi Sinclaire

Cassi grinned at James, who was standing, dumbfounded, staring at the list. "I made it?" he whispered. "I MADE IT!" Cassi burst into laughter at the look on his face, so self-satisfied, it was ridiculous. He turned around, leaving Sirius and Cassi awkwardly standing next to each other. "So…" started Sirius. "You made it, Black. Good job." Cassi said, turning away and walking to the dormitory stairs. She was almost there when she heard something that made her wince. "Hey, Evans, will you go out with me?" James was grinning stupidly at Lily, who looked like she was about to kill him. Instead, she threw a book at his head. "Hmm…I'm surprised it didn't bounce, your head's so fat, it should have." She snapped. She gathered her work and stalked primly off to the dormitories amid the laughter of everyone who had been in the common room. Cassi rolled her eyes. James muttered, "I guess that's a no?"

Days passed, marked by Quidditch practice, homework, and Lily Evans refusing James. Every new attempt made Cassi wince. She tried, several times, to tell him that he was being stupid by asking her out so much, but he didn't listen.

The day before the first Quidditch game of the year, Gryffindor versus Slytherin, saw several brawls between the competing houses. Cassi tried to stay out of the way, and mostly, no Slytherins messed with her, mostly because she was pureblood royalty. For once, Cassi was relieved she was a pureblood. Only one person dared harass her, and that person was Bellatrix Black. Bellatrix had been getting more and more evil. A Chaser for Slytherin, the girl was behind the more vicious attacks. The news, earlier that week, that her older sister, Andromeda, was pregnant hadn't helped at all. Bella hated Andy. Narcissa was too proud to be seen doing anything but faintly dabbing her eyes over the shame to their family, but Bellatrix took it out on anyone and anything. Cassi passed the Black sister, Regulus, and Drea on her way to Defense Against the Dark Arts, when Bellatrix had said, "Oh, look, it's the little traitorous Gryffindor we'll be beating in a few hour's time." Cassi had whirled around, already provoked by Sirius at lunch, and jumped at Bellatrix. She hadn't even bothered to draw her wand. Luckily, Regulus and Drea had managed to pull them apart before any real damage was done, and neither girl got in trouble, but by the time Cassi reached the pitch to change, her temper was running high.

Delia Yew, a fifth year, tried to help Cassi relieve her nerves, but nothing helped. Delia had smiled, saying, "It's alright. It's your first game, but its also Black's." It took Cassi a minute to figure out she meant Regulus.

Dressed in the scarlet Quidditch robes, brooms over their shoulders, the team gathered to listen to Malcolm's speech. But he didn't really have one, preffering to say, "Squash 'em to a pulp." The team had cheered, and gotted ready to enter the pitch. Cassi was the last in line, right behind Sirius. "And here's the Slytherin team!" screamed the announcer, "And its Lestrange, Nott, Black, Sinclaire, Yaxley, Rosier, and BLACK!" The Slytherin team flew out into the pitch, doing a lap before landing. When Bellatrix flew past them, Cassi could see the long black tresses she hadn't bothered to pin up. "And the Gryffindors! Its Wood, Bell, Yew, Potter, Riley, Black, and SINCLAIRE!" the Gryffindors made their lap, then landed. Madame Jayce called, "CAPTIANS! Shake hands!" Rodolphus Leastrange and Malcolm Wood stepped forward to shake hands. Wood had a fake smiled plastered on, but Rodolphus' smile was very real. And very feral.

The teams kicked off as Madame Jayce blew her whistle. "There's an interesting face off here, folks, between the Black brothers and the Sinclaire sisters. Sirius Black plays beater for the Gryffindors, and Drea Sinclaire plays Keeper for Slytherin. Even more interestingly, Regulus Black and Cassi Sinclaire play Seeker for their teams. And, that's James Potter with the Quaffle, Sinclaire is trying to block him, but….OH! it gets past her."

The game continued for almost an hour. It was 120-90 Gryffindor, but that margin had been shuffling all the time. Wood called for a time out. "Okay, Cassi, girl, you have to do your thing, catch the Snitch, and as fast as you can! PLEASE!"

Back in the air, Cassi ventured to fly among the players, searching for the Snitch. Normally, Seekers stayed out of the way, but there was no time for that now. She had better visibility down here, even if she was in more danger. She finally saw it, glittering high above her. Regulus saw it too. They raced upward, neither able to outstrip the other, towards the glittering ball high in the sky. The game came to a virtual standstill as all the players, the entire stadium, watched Cassi and Regulus get higher and higher.

All was still, until Rodolphus Lestrange hit a Bludger towards the pair of Seekers. It whistled upward. Regulus noticed, and starined to reach the Snitch before the Bludger impacted with one of them.

Cassi had noticed the Bludger as well, but she didn't care. Her entire focus was on the Snitch. Nothing else mattered except the glittering ball, and all the forces of nature, wind, gravity, her own body, that were trying to stop her from reaching it.

When the Bludger was a few feet away Regulus swerved, unable to take the risk anymore. There was a split second where the world seemed to stand still, and Cassi hung in the air, her hair glimmering almost as brightly as the Snitch. Then the Bludger hit her outstretched arm, breaking it with a resounding snap. Cassi's face turned white at the sight of bone protruding from her skin, and she fell.

Free falling, the screams of everyone in the stadium, the whistling of something coming towards her, of landing heavily in someone's arms, and the brief impression of gray eyes. And, most importantly, the cold metal ball pressed inside her fist. Then, there were no more sensations, only darkness.


	9. Kisses and Goodbyes

**This is the last chapter in the third year. **

Cassi came to slowly. At first, it was just the feeling of having a body, then slowly sound began to trickle into her awareness. "Is she going to wake up soon?" That was James, she was sure of it. "I don't know." Madam Pomfrey. "I'm going to go tell the rest of the team." James again. Cassi heard the door to Madam Pomfrey's office open and then shut. Slowly, Cassi opened her eyes.

Sirius' heart nearly stopped with relief as he saw Cassi's sky blue eyes flicker open. She blinked a few times, then turned her head. When she saw him, her eyes widened. "Siri?" she whispered. His heart beat painfully fast in his chest at his nickname. She smiled faintly. Her hair glowed, framing her face like a halo. Her skin shone against the whiteness of her hospital gown, emphasizing the gentle curve of her neck, the soft jaw, her shell-pink lips, straight nose with its slightly turned up end, her high cheekbones, and her big blue eyes, staring up at him. Her eyes were the color at the height of the sky on a cloudless summer day. Her eyes closed, black lashes standing out against faintly rose-colored cheeks.

Cassi stared up at him, marveling at the color of his eyes. The light gray, flecked with silver, liquid as mercury. They showed concern. He was actually concerned for her. He smiled faintly, lips turning up, dimple appearing on his right cheek. Cassi's breath caught in her throat. His hair swung forward, dark and soft. Cassi closed her eyes so she would no longer see how…how truly handsome Sirius was. She hadn't ever had that thought.

She opened her eyes, and locked gazes with Sirius. Blue staring into gray. Before he quite knew what he was doing, Sirius bent forward, so close he could feel the heat off her cheeks. Her eyes fluttered close, and his followed suit. His lips brushed hers. Blood immediately rushed to Cassi's lips and her eyes flew open. Sirius pulled back. They both were blushing bright red.

"Siri, I-" Cassi was cut off by James flinging the door open, saying, "GUYS! She's awake!" The entire Quidditch team filed into the room. She spent the next fifteen minutes being congratulated on her spectacular catch, questioning, and well wishing. Somewhere in the midst of all the commotion, Sirius had slipped away.

"And no one knew whether or not you had actually caught it, but Sirius caught you before you fell too far. It was crazy, everyone was screaming, and you were bleeding, and Sirius was covered in blood, but then he started shouting that you had caught the Snitch, and so everyone started cheering. It was great, and we won!" James finished his tale of the Quidditch match. Cassi grinned. "We did win, didn't we?"

"You bet we did!"

the door swung open to reveal a very worried looking Lily Evans. "Cassi! You're alright! Thank goodness!" Lily rushed into the room, followed by Alice, who was staggering under the weight of what looked like half of Honeydukes. "We brought you some candy." came Alice's muffled voice. "Wow, really?" said Cassi, "I couldn't tell." All three girls laughed. James smiled at Lily. "Hey, Evans, you want to go to the celebratory party with me?" Lily raised an eyebrow. "I've already turned you down seven times today. What makes you think the eighth time will be different?" James seemed to deflate a little. He bid goodbye to Cassi, promising to save her some butterbeer.

Lily rolled her eyes. "That boy."

Third year was not particularly exciting for anyone after Cassi's near-death Quidditch experience. Christmas came in a whirl of festivities for everyone except Sirius and Cassi, who would have to return home.

The day they were to leave, Lily begged Cassi to stay with her family over break, but Cassi politely refused. It happened every year. Cassi would go and sit at the Christmas Party her mother threw, drink champagne, and be bored. This year was no different, except that she saw how the other pureblooded children accepted her into their circles. Narcissa was always vapidly sweet, and even Bellatrix grudgingly allowed her into the conversations. But Sirius was completely excluded. No one talked to him, and he talked to no one. Cassi went over to him that year. "Sirius?" He turned, mouth opened to retort, until he noticed who it was. He closed his mouth. "Yes?" he said. "I was wondering…if you wanted some champagne?" Cassi mentally berated herself for such a stupid excuse. "If I had wanted some, I would have gotten it, wouldn't I?"

Spring came to Hogwarts, and Lily moved their study groups outside, where it was warm. Quidditch was even more pleasant now, when it was warm. The final game against Ravenclaw was coming up, and Wood was training his team as hard as he could. Cassi carried a Snitch with her everywhere, practicing in the hallways, at meals, and even during particularly boring classes. The big game was coming up fast.

"AND THAT'S GRYFFINDOR FOR THE CUP!" screamed the announcer. Cassi landed, golden Snitch shining like a beacon in her hand. Royce and Malcolm lifted her up from the cheering crowd, and Delia, practically crying, handed the Cup to Cassi, who lifted it high into the air. It caught the sun and shone, reflecting golden light over her face. Sirius thought she had never looked more beautiful.

The party in the common room was still raging, even though it was one o'clock am. Cassi was sitting on the couch be the fire, watching James and Lily arguing. She giggled to herself, then took another swig of butterbeer. Someone came and sat next to her. She turned, and noticed it was Sirius. Deciding to be civil for once, she smiled, "We won, Sirius!" He grinned. "Really, I wonder what clued you in?" he said. Cassi grinned. She suddenly noticed that her face was only inches away from Sirius'. Before she could stop herself, she leaned forward and kissed him. He tasted like mint, and butterbeer, and something she couldn't quite name. almost as quickly as she had done it, she pulled back, blushing furiously. Sirius swallowed, then got up quickly. Cassi bit her lip.

The next day, she found out Sirius had asked out Marlene McKinnon.

The day came when she and her friends were preparing to leave for home. Exams were finished, everyone was packed, and the train was departing. Cassi sat in her compartment, laughing with Lily and Alice, talking about their plans for the summer, and their years. Lily was, naturally, complaining about James.

When they got off the train, Cassi said goodbye to her friends and met up with Drea. They found their parents, and Cassi stiffly said her hellos. Over her mother's shoulder, she could see Sirius and Regulus Black being greeted by their parents. Sirius made eye contact with her, but then quickly looked away. Cassi looked down, wondering if she would ever talk to him again.

**Next up, fifth year!**


	10. Welcomes and Long Years

Fourth year had come and gone, another year spent at Hogwarts. Lily had denied James a few hundred more times, and now legitimately hated him for his cockiness, his stupidity, but, most of all, his audacity at asking her out. Cassi had found this amusing. She had spent all of the year avoiding Sirius whenever possible, and never once had she spoken to him directly. It was really beginning to bother her.

They had won the Quidditch Cup again, and they were looking to win again this year. Cassi had spent an agonizing year watching Drea being sucked deeper and deeper into the Slytheirn cult. She and Bella had an outright animosity ever since Cassi's attack early in the third year. Cassi and Narcissa were a different matter. They had a subtle kind of hatred, hidden behind backhanded compliments and false smiles.

Cassi was looking forward to this year as more time to spend with Lily and Alice, more time to play Quidditch, and more time to not be with her family.

Cassi stood alone, enveloped by smoke. Her parents hadn't even bothered to come through the barrier this year. Her mother had wanted to see Drea off, but she convinced them she would be fine. The steam shifted, revealing Drea and Regulus a few feet away, holding hands as they watched the huge scarlet engine. Cassi smirked.

Drea looked up as Cassi walked towards them. When Reg saw what she saw, he squeezed her hand a little tighter. Regulus had never really been sure what the relationship between the two sisters was, but he knew it was something he would not want to get involved in.

Cassi had a feral smirk, her eyes calculating. Drea hesitantly greeted her, and Cassi replied very pleasantly. Then she sprang the trap. "When are you going to tell Mother about your little fling, Drea? Or will I have to? You know she doesn't approve of boyfriends, even if he is a Black." Drea turned pale, and Regulus looked confused. "It's none of your business, Cass." Drea hissed back. Cassi's grin got wider. She raised an eyebrow. "Suit yourself. I'll keep my eyes open for Howlers." With that she turned and walked away, happy with her last bit of torture before she went clean for the year.

Cassi was relaxing in her compartment, chatting with Alice, when the door slid open. Both girls perked up, expecting Lily, but instead, they got Marlene McKinnon and her sidekicks. Cassi suppressed a groan.

Marlene was evil, and cruel, and, although very pretty, she had nothing on Cassi's beauty. And she knew it. She'd always been horrible to Cassi, ever since first year. Flanking her were the other two girls in the dorms, Mary and Dorcas. Mary was shy and timid, and was never a bully. Dorcas was a different story. She was almost as mean as Marlene, and twice as stupid. She was not exactly pretty, but certainly slutty enough to make up the difference. She and Mary were Marlene's sidekicks.

"Well, well, Sinclaire and Carr. How absolutely lovely to see you. Really. I mean it." Cassi snorted. Marlene sent her a glare, saying, "What was that, Sinclaire? Did you just snort at me?" Marlene smirked. "Jealous, are we?"

"Why would I be jealous of you, McKinnon?"

"Cause I was hooking up with Sirius all summer while you rotted away in that old morgue of a home?"

Cassi's jaw dropped. Then she burst into laughter. Marlene looked affronted. "You-think-hahahahaha-I'm jealous of you- hahaha- and BLACK? Get REAL, McKinnon!" Marlene narrowed her eyes, then said, "You should be. Everyone knows you like him." Cassi stopped laughing. "I don't like him." Marlene raised and eyebrow, then left the compartment, trailed by Mary and Dorcas.

"I don't like him!" Cassi was still denying it to Alice fifteen minutes later. Alice rolled her eyes. "I know, Cass, I know." Lily, who had stopped by the compartment right after the prefect's meeting, scoffed. "If you don't like him, then why are you denying it so much?" Cassi stared at her friend, mouth open. "I DON'T LIKE HIM!" she screeched.

"Don't like who?" said James, popping his head into the compartment. Cassi glared. "Don't like Sirius." James rolled his eyes. "Well, DUH. I mean, you've always screamed your head off at hi when he tries to talk to you, so-Hey, Evans." James' head whipped around as he noticed Lily. "No." she said. "How did you know what I was going to ask?"

"Because you ask me the same question every time you talk to me."

"But what if it was different this time?"

"But it wasn't going to be, was it?"

"….No, it wasn't. But that doesn't mean anything!"

Cassi and Alice rolled their eyes in unison at Lily and James' argument. They both laughed. Lily and James weren't distracted at all.

The feast was wonderful. Cassi sat enjoying the bliss of her mashed potatoes, watching James and Lily in another argument. Alice leaned over to her and said, "This is better than a soap opera!" Dessert was eaten amid the sounds of friends catching up and, from the fifth year section of the Gryffindor table, the sounds of arguing. Alice had long since dropped the conversation and was staring longingly at Frank Longbottom, over at the Ravenclaw table. Cassi and Sirius were ignoring each other, and James was eying Lily while she talked to Remus. Cassi was attempting to keep up a conversation with James, but it wasn't really working. Sirius was whispering with Marlene, who was practically in his lap. She kept shooting glances at Cassi, who made faces back. James caught her in the middle of one and nearly fell out of his chair laughing. Needless to say, a very regular start to the year.

Cassi sighed as she, Alice, and Lily made their way to Herbology. They had Herbology with the Ravenclaws, so neither the blond nor the redhead was expecting much conversation from Alice. She would undoubtedly be spending the entire class staring at Frank and sighing.

Cassi rolled her eyes as she walked into Greenhouse 6. The Marauders were enchanting plants to go as high as they could, then hover around someone's head until they got nervous. All four were trying to quench their laughter.

The girls took their places beside the Marauders, which both Lily and Cassi grumbled about. Alice didn't care. Marlene was shooting Cassi nasty looks. "PAIR UP!" came Professor Sprout's yell. Cassi quickly grabbed Lily's arm. Alice was too slow, so she whirled around to find Mary McDonald partner-less. She smiled, and the girls paired up. Cassi's shoulders slumped as Sirius and James were assigned to the pot next to them. Lily looked close to tears. James kept shooting sideways glances at Lily, and Sirius was staring at the ceiling.

Cassi personally thought this was going to be a very long year.


	11. Friends and Letters

Cassi shivered through her tee shirt. She had made the mistake of not wearing a sweater, and was severely berating herself for it. It was only mid-September, but it was so cold. Malcolm Wood had left last year, and the new Captain was Delia Yew. She stood in the middle of the field, long dark brown hair blowing around her, hands on her hips, as she scrutinized her team. "We're lucky this year, you lot. Only need a Keeper." The rest of the team nodded. Delia yelled, "WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? GET YOUR BROOMS IN THE AIR!" Cassi hid a smile as she mounted her broom.

Flying was something that Cassi had never gotten used to. She loved the feeling of weightlessness, the independence of flight. Whooping with glee, she shot into one of her famous dives. Cassi was known for her incredible catches. She rocketed towards the earth, missing it by inches so that her toes scraped the grass. Then she shot high into the sky.

It was after practice, and Cassi was waiting for James, and, by extension, Sirius. All the other players had already gone up. Lily came walking down the sloping lawn to the pitch. She smiled at Cassi, but the smile dropped quickly when she saw James Potter emerging from the changing room. The corners of her mouth turned down and she rolled her eyes as James ran up to her. They began one of their fights as Cassi tried not to laugh.

"Oi! Sinclaire!" The voice caught her attention. It was Sirius. She watched Lily glance in her direction, but she nodded and gestured for Lily to go. Lily obliged, and went off to the castle, trailing a James Potter behind her.

Cassi turned her attention to Sirius. "What do you want, Black?" Sirius smirked. "Why so harsh, Cass?" she winced at the nickname. "Why not, Siri?" she answered. She was gratified by seeing him wince as well. He sighed. "Cass, I'm tired of us fighting. Can't we try to be friends?" Cassi looked down. "I-I-I don't know, Sirius." He glanced at the sky, biting his lip. He looked down, meeting her blue eyes. He noticed they were exactly the same shade of blue as the sky above them.

"I guess we can try, Sirius. I'm not promising anything, but its worth a shot, I guess." He looked elated by her response. He tentatively held his arms open, then said, "Friends?" She smiled back, replying, "Friends." She hugged him lightly. It was more physical contact then they had had in almost a year and a half. Cassi grinned. "Race you to the Great Hall?" she said. But Sirius was already gone, racing over the grassy lawn.

"STOP, YOU CHEATER, COME BACK!"

"NOT A CHANCE!"  
Cassi raced after Sirius, who was already halfway up the lawn.

When she reached the Entrance Hall, she ran into Sirius. He was standing, glaring, at the sight before him. Marlene McKinnon was walking out of the Great Hall, arm in arm with Harvey Finnegan, a Gryffindor sixth year. Both Cassi and Sirius watched in horror as she leaned over, still smiling, and kissed him on the cheek. Sirius had turned a strange shade of red. Cassi was concerned. She had known that Marlene and Sirius were hooking up, but not dating. But dating was the option that made his response make sense.

"Marlene?" Sirius' voice was strangely calm. Marlene turned, her eyes getting wide, and her smile faker, as she did. "Sirius! Baby!" Sirius remained like a rock as Marlene pranced over.

"What's she doing with you?" she questioned. "I could ask the same thing of you with Finnegan." Marlene looked affronted.

"Sirius! You can't be jealous!" she smiled.

"I am." He replied.

"That's ridiculous!" she whined.

"I don't think it is, Marlene."

"But I know it is!"

"ARGH." This was from Cassi. She glared at Sirius. "Just break up and be done with it!" She began stalking away when Marlene's voice accosted her. "So, you're trying to get Sinclaire to do your dirty work, Sirius? I can't believe you're breaking up with me! After all we've been through! I just," here she began to fake cry, "I can't stand the thought of you with that Sinclarie who-" She never finished her statement because Cassi had slapped her across the face. Marlene was sprawled on the floor, hand clapped to her face where Cassi had slapped her. "Don't you dare finish that statement. You couldn't at least try to break up with him with class? I'm disgusted by you. I don't even know how he managed to stand you for this long." She stalked away, trailed by an astonished Sirius.

"You-You SLAPPED her!" he said, still stunned. Cassi whirled on him. "Of course I did, why are you so surprised?" Sirius held up his hands in front of him in a gesture of peace.

Cassi was sitting in the Great Hall when Drea came up to her. "Cass." She said. Cassi turned to face her sister. "Drea? What are you doing over here?" Drea turned her head, her eyes filled with tears, and handed Cassi a black envelope. "Read it." She whispered. Cassi nodded. She took the letter from the envelope, unfolding it with shaking hands.

_Dear Cassieopia and Alessandrea Sinclaire,_

_We regret to inform you that as of last night, September 13__th__, 1976, your father, Romulus Sinclaire, was killed in a raid. Your mother, Aphrodite Sinclaire, still lives._

_ Our deepest condolences,_

_ Arianna Kirtwald_

_ Head Auror_

Cassi stared at the letter for a long time. Drea stared at her sister. Cassi took a deep breath, handed the letter back to Drea, and said, "Go home if you feel the need. I'm staying right where I am." Looking horrified, Drea fled back to the Slytherin table. Cassi continued eating her dinner, not looking at any of her concerned friends.

It was almost midnight when Lily, returning from her rounds as prefect, heard the gentle sobs coming from Cassi's bed. She wanted to comfort her friend, but the curtains were drawn shut.


	12. The Roof and Tickling

It was very early morning. Cassi sat staring at the fire in the common room. She was thinking about the events of the past day. She had talked to Sirius for the first time in ages, but she wasn't happy. Her father was dead. Romulus Sinclaire had never been kind to her, but he was still her father. She should be feeling sad for him, shouldn't she? But she couldn't. She couldn't forget all the times her father had screamed at her for the slightest thing, the times he had slapped her for talking out of turn, or turned his ring around and hit her. She couldn't forgive him for that.

She was crying, she realized, for the people who really did care about him. She was crying for her mother, who, although never warm, was never as hostile as her father had been. And she was crying, most of all, for Drea. Drea might have been the darling of the family, but it didn't mean she had an easier time. Cassi realized, behind all their fighting, she did love her sister. And she was upset by the pain Drea would be going through.

Cassi left the common room. It was Sunday, so no one was awake yet. She wandered the gray halls, watching the sun just barely begin to show through the various windows she passed. She found herself, quite on accident, outside. She walked along a battlement that overlooked the lake and the forest. Squinting against the sun, she could just see a figure standing against the roof. "Hello?" she called. The figure turned.

"Cass?" it called back. Cassi smiled. It was Sirius. She laughed a little when she realized that she was happy to see Sirius for the first time in years. "Yeah, Siri, its me." The boy hopped down and made his way over to where she was standing. "Cass, come with me, I want to show you something." Cassi obediently followed him.

They sat, side by side, backs against a chimney, on the slanting roof. It was a separate land up here, populated by various statues and gargoyles, punctured by a landscape of chimneys and steeples. Cassi sighed, leaning her head against Sirius' shoulder. He glanced down at her and smiled.

"Cassi, what did that letter say yesterday?" he asked. He wasn't prepared for her reaction. She sat up straight, stiffly turning away from him. He thought he might have caught a glimpse of tears. "Cass? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"Its okay." She answered. "My father was killed. It just takes some getting used to."

"He was killed in a raid?" Sirius asked.

Cassi smiled. "Yeah, but we both know which side he was on. It just…I never really liked my father." Sirius snorted, saying, "Trust me, I'm with you there." Cassi mock glared at him. "Anyway, I don't particularly feel sad for him, and that's the problem. I mean, I should feel sad, be upset, shouldn't I? That's what's normal, what should be happening."

"Cassi." Sirius took her face in his hands. "No death is normal. In families like ours, there's so much resentment and hate that maybe it's not normal to be sad. You wouldn't get all sad if Voldemort kicked the bucket, would you?" Cassi laughed a little. "Its like that, Cass. They're the enemy. And we don't have to feel sad for them." Cassi sighed. "I can't think of my father as my enemy."

"Then how would you think of him?"

"I don't honestly know. I hated the man, but, he was still my father. My blood, you know?" Sirius snorted. "Blood doesn't mean anything, Cass. Look at Bellatrix and I. we're cousins, but you don't see us as great friends." Cassi looked away. "I guess you're right. But, I still feel for my mother, and my sister, and they loved him. I didn't agree, but how can I hate someone they loved?"

Sirius sighed. "I don't know how to answer your questions, Cassi, because, for me, its simple. I hate everything and everyone in my family. No exceptions. Okay, well, a few, but my family hates them too, so it's not hard. I can't imagine what you're saying. It doesn't make sense to me."

Cassi smiled faintly, then said, "Yes, Sirius. And somehow, I feel like that makes it all the sadder. I don't want to talk about this any more."

"You need to talk about it, Cass, or you'll never get over it. But maybe not today. You need time to heal first."  
Cassi raised an eyebrow. "You're right, but where did you learn all the mushy gushy feelings stuff?"

Sirius blushed. "My cousin, Andy. You know, the one who married the Muggle. You should see their daughter, she is just the cutest. Named her Nymphadora, poor girl."

Cassi laughed, then rested her head against Sirius' shoulder again and watched the sun come up.

Lily was practically running laps around the common room by the time they got back. "Oh, thank GOD! I was just going to go and ask a professor to start a search for y-"

"Wow, Lilyflower, couldn't wait to see me again?"

"Oh, shut it Black. Black?" Lily looked amazed. Her head was turning from Cassi to Sirius. "REMUS!" she screamed. "Get the camera! Cassi and Sirius are in the same room as each other and there's no screaming!" Remus stuck his head down the staircase. "Lily. You're screaming. There IS screaming." Lily looked thoroughly put out.

"Oh, Tigerlily!" Lily turned red at the sound of this new voice. "Potter." She spat. She ran away very quickly. James entered the room. "Hmm…I could have sworn I heard Lily in here." Sirius grumbled, "I'm pretty sure the Slytherins heard Lily in here. I'm won't be able to hear for a week!"

"WHAT DID YOU SAY, SIRIUS?" Cassi shouted. Sirius looked at her. "I CAN'T HEAR YOU. SHOUT LOUDER." He yelled back. "WHAT ABOUT POTTER?" James whirled around.

"Yeah, Black, what about Potter?"

Sirius rolled his eyes and sank into a chair. Cassi got an evil grin on her face. James took in the situation. Making a decision, he ran up the dormitory stairs. And just in time too, because no sooner was he gone then Cassi literally threw herself at Sirius. She landed in the chair with a thump. There was a muffled "Oof" from Sirius. Then Cassi started shrieking with laughter. Sirius was tickling her.

Before long, both were rolling around on the floor, wrestling. The rest of the Gryffindors were wondering what had set them off this time.


	13. Flying and The Sisters

James was grumpy. Ever since Cassi and Sirius had become friends again, he never had a partner in Defense Against the Dark Arts. Of course, half the girls in the class would swoon to be James Potter's partner. The other half were too busy shooting glares at Cassi.

For the fourth time that day, Cassi burst into laughter. The heads of the class turned to see Cassi fall on the floor with a loud thump. Sirius was staring straight ahead, obviously trying to keep a straight face despite Cassi, who was now rolling on the floor. James rolled his eyes. He sat directly in front of Cassi and Sirius. He sighed as he turned to watch his Lilyflower.

Cassi was flying. She really was. High in the air over the Quidditch pitch, she watched her team mates disappear one by one into the changing rooms. Cassi reached up, higher and higher, until she left the pitch behind her. She swooped out over the lake. Cassi loved flying over the lake. It was dark and dangerous, flying beneath her like a smooth mirror. Sometimes, if she flew high enough, she could see the faint outline of the giant squid under the surface. Today, she flew as high as she could, then dropped towards the water.

She plummeted, heading towards the water at ridiculous speeds. She felt adrenaline, and sheer terror twanging at her heart. She flew so close to the water she could see it ripple before pulling out of the dive. She smiled, trembling slightly. If she hadn't made the dive, it would have been like hitting a diamond surface. She catapulted into the sky.

"CASSI!"

She heard a faint yell coming from the shore. She turned to see the barest outline of a person, waving a broom in the air. She sped towards them. As she got clearer, she recognized Sirius' outline. She grinned. She flew close to him, so close she made his hair ruffle, and saw his face, shock clearly standing out. Swooping high into a gentle loop, she swung back around to tumble off her broom at Sirius' feet. Sirius sighed. He plopped down on the grass next to her face. She grinned up at him.

"What's up?"

He shrugged.

"Not much. It was just a little loud outside, so I came out to find you."

He locked his arms over his legs and turned his face out over the lake. Cassi sighed and turned her own eyes towards the stars that were just beginning to come out. She wondered about many things. Eventually, of course, her thoughts turned to Lord Voldemort. She shuddered slightly as she pictured his red eyes and gaunt face. She was surprised to feel Sirius gently wrap an arm under her body. She turned to face him. He grinned.

"Just thought you seemed cold."

Cassi was confused. She sat in front of her vanity mirror, brushing her hair. The other girls were already asleep. She saw Lily turn in the mirror's reflection and sighed. She thought it would be easier to be Lily, because to know that you hate someone is better than not being sure. She didn't hate Sirius, she knew that, but it was still hard for her to figure out exactly what she was feeling towards him. She rested her hand on her cheek.

Cassi woke up late the next day, to Lily hitting her in the face with a pillow. Alice giggled behind her. Lily smirked.

"Time to wake up, Cassibear."

Cassi groaned and made a face at her tormentor. Lily rolled her eyes. She leaned down and sharply pulled the blankets out from around Cassi, causing her to tumble to the floor, where she glared up at Lily from amongst a tumble of blankets. Marlene McKinnon rolled her eyes, and Dorcas Meadowes turned her nose up, but Mary McDonald smiled shyly at Cassi. Lily caught the girl's expression and grinned back.

Cassi glared up at Lily. Lily was already wearing her school uniform, her neat gray skirt and crisp white shirt as flawless as always. Her knee length, red trimmed, gray socks were pulled sharply, with no creases. Her long red hair had been pulled into a braid that draped over he shoulder. She smirked back, then spun on her heel.

Cassi was running desperately down the hallway, her breath coming short and fast. She was late to Transfiguration again. McGonagal was going to murder her. She was dead meat. This was the fourth time in the past two weeks that she had been late.

She burst into the classroom to find McGonagal lecturing James and Sirius furiously. She swung around to face Cassi.

"And Miss Sinclaire, you can join Black and Potter in detention."

Cassi's shoulders slumped and she glared at Sirius. He stuck his tongue out at her. She rolled her eyes and went to take her seat in the back of the classroom.

Cassi couldn't help thinking how much she hated detention as she scrubbed a trophy. Sirius was sitting cross-legged a few feet away, his tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth as he polished a plaque. She whispered, "Sirius?"

He started. He turned slowly. "Yes, Cass?"

"Why are you here?"

Sirius looked slightly embarrassed. "Uh, you see, what happened was, that, uh, James had thought, maybe, that if…..uh…."

"Just spit it out, Siri. It can't be that bad."

"Yes. Yes, it can."

Cassi leaned in intently, but Sirius seemed determined not to say anything else. Cassi leaned back, sighing in disgust.

"I hate you, Sirius."

He smirked.

"I know, Cass."

It was rare that Cassi got this nervous. She smoothed her skirt one more time. Drea rolled her eyes.

"It's just Mother, Cassi."

"Yes, but it's the first time we've seen her since Father died."

Drea wilted a little.

"I know. I still can't believe he's dead."

Cassi narrowed her eyes.

"I can."

The funeral was set for that morning. Cassi was up early. Her black robes billowed around her as she sat at her vanity. Her room was white and covered in tulle and gauze. It was a sharp contrast to her deep black robes. _As black as my father's soul_, she thought idly. She sighed as she swept her hair up and pinned it into a bun. She set the black headband against her gold hair, and carefully let down the black lace veil. She stood. Drea knocked on her door. Her sister was dressed in a similar way, but her hair was too short to pin up. She sniffled. Cassi sighed as she realized Drea was already crying.

"Drea. You hated our father. He was horrible. Why are you crying?"

Drea looked up, scandalized.

"Cassi. He was our father! He may have occasionally been cruel, but he was good at heart! He did what he thought best for us! You must love him, somewhere, deep in your heart."

Cassi sighed.

"Maybe I do. But its not enough to counter how much I hate him."


	14. Christmas and Gifts

Cassi couldn't stand it anymore. She couldn't stand all the fakeness, the people giving her their consolations and apologies. She didn't need to be consoled because she wasn't upset. Her father's death was nothing. It was the end of another Death Eater, and that could only be a good thing. Cassi took pride in her blood, but it wasn't a reason to think you were better than someone, and definitely not a reason to kill someone. She sat in the front row at the church, feigning sadness for her mother and sister's sake.

She was relieved when it was over, when her father resided in the ground at last. She sat in a corner at the reception afterwards, watching the purebloods give her mother their gifts and apologies. She rolled her eyes and took another swig of champagne. It was not worth leaving school for this. She watched with sudden interest as Regulus Black wrapped a consoling arm around a weepy Drea. She smiled a little. If one Black brother was here, it stood to reason the other one was as well.

"Miss me, Cass?"

A familiar voice came from behind her. She smiled.

"You know I did, Siri."

He took the seat next to her. He too was holding a glass of champagne. She smiled up at him.

It was late. Cassi and Sirius stood on the balcony, watching snow fall lightly around them.

"First snowfall of the year, eh, Cass?"

"Yup."

She smiled and took another swig of champagne. She leaned against the railing, staring out over the grounds of the home she had always lived in.

"Sirius, is it strange that I feel like I don't belong here?"

"No. Not at all." He answered. "It may actually be right. You and I both, we're different than our families. We don't belong to their world."

"Then where do we belong?"

"Somewhere out there." Sirius gestured to the valley spreading out below them. Cassi smiled.

"Thanks, Siri. It's good to know I'm not alone."

She stood on tiptoe and gave him a peck on the cheek. She went in quickly to the party, but Sirius stayed out in the cold, watching the snow fall, and feeling his cheek burn.

Cassi went back to school a few days later. She forgot all about the incident, but Sirius didn't.

It was almost Christmas time, and the castle was in high spirits. James could hardly sit down, bursting with excitement as he was. Remus was in a much better mood than usual, and much more fun. Peter resembled an elf more and more every day, what with his short stature and the beaming smile that never left his face. Even Lily was in high spirits, and Sirius noted, with wonder, that she hadn't argued with James for a whole week. She had, of course, rolled her eyes at him, but it was true.

Cassi had definitely decided that this was the best Christmas yet. She was walking down to Hogsmeade with Lily on the last trip before break. Lily was explaining all the presents she was getting for people. Cassi laughed at some of them. Lily gave her a glare, but after a few seconds, she burst into laughter too.

Walking down High Street, they saw a great many of their classmates, including Alice, on a date with Frank Longbottom. Lily was in a very good mood as they entered one of the many interesting little shops. She and Cassi spent an enjoyable half hour picking out presents for their girlfriends. Lily sighed.

"Cassi, do you think I should get something for Mary McDonald?"

Cassi looked up from the purse she had been considering for Alice.

"What? Oh, sorry. Well, are you good friends with her?"

Lily bit her lip.

"I guess I am."

"Then get her a present, Lils."

Cassi rolled her eyes.

"Oh, after this, we're going to Zonko's, because I have to get presents for Sirius and James."

"You're encouraging troublemaking, Cass."

"Oh, lighten up, Lils, its Christmas!"

Hours later, their purchases shoved into bags and pockets, the laughing friends made their way back to the castle. They were ambushed in the hall by Sirius and James, who avidly questioned them on their presents. Cassi kept her mouth tightly closed.

"No, I won't tell you, that would ruin the surprise! And if you don't let us go, you won't get them at all!"

This made the boys back off at once. Lily and Cassi escaped to their room, before storing their presents in their trunks.

Late the night before break was to start, Sirius sat on his windowsill, fingering the charm bracelet that he had given Cassi so many years ago. He bit his lip. He wanted her to have it again. It was ironic, really, that it was a dog, because he had realized that was the form his Animagus would take, when they were finished. He made up his mind.

Christmas morning started abruptly for Cassi.

"PRESENTS!!!"

Alice and Lily screamed in unison and jumped on Cassi's bed. Cassi jerked upright, gasping. She glared at the girls on her bed, who grinned back. Cassi grinned wickedly and pulled the blankets out from under them, sending them both crashing to the floor.

"That's what you get for jumping on me, girls."

Both rolled their eyes. Cassi smiled angelically, and began to open presents.

Almost an hour later, she was surrounded by various presents, including a gorgeous pair of heels from Alice, a necklace from her sister, and a notebook from James. She was a little confused about the last one, until she read the note on the inside. It read:

_Cass,_

_Hope you like this. It's a magic journal. You write in it, and the writing will appear in my journal. I can do the same. I thought it would be a great way to keep in touch. Hope you like it!_

_Love from,_

_James_

Cassi smiled. It was really very clever.

**Hi****James **she wrote

_Hey Cass. _He wrote back seconds later. _You like the gift?_

**Of course I do. Its really cool.**

_Glad you like it. See you soon._

Cassi smiled. She looked over at Lily, who was glaring down at a box.

"Lils? What did that box ever do to you?"

She looked up, glaring.

"Its not the box. Its not the gift. It's the giver that I can't stand."

"Ah. James got you a Christmas gift, I take it?"

She nodded, then passed her the box. Cassi glanced down and her jaw dropped.

"Lily. This necklace is…wow."

Wow was the right word for it. It was a delicate silver chain, with a series of diamonds studded at regular intervals along it. In the middle, there was a massive emerald, the exact shade of Lily's eyes. It must have cost a fortune. Cassi didn't think much about that, because she was used to money, but she could see how Lily, who wasn't used to it, would freak out. She shook her head and sighed.

There was one last box for Cassi. It was small and fairly light. She frowned, because it didn't have a tag. She opened it. It was a small velvet jewelry box. She opened the lid.

Her breath caught in her throat. She understood why there was no card. There was no need. It was a chain, just wide enough to encircle her wrist. At the end, a tiny dog charm dangled. It had been a gift from Sirius when they were small. She had thought she'd lost it forever. She had been very sad. She stared down at the tiny dog, then whispered,

"Mobilius" the way Sirius had taught her to. The tiny dog sprang to life and ran around on her palm. The faint whisper reached her ears.

"I love you, Cassi."

She smiled. It still worked. After a few more seconds, the dog returned to its former position. Lily looked curiously at the beautiful thing in her friend's hand.

"You want me to help you put that on, Cass?"

She looked up and nodded.

Sirius was waiting in the common room for Cassi to come down. He watched the fire and wondered how she would take the gift. He gasped as someone hit him from behind, wrapping their arms around his neck and hopping onto his back. He saw the dog charm. He grinned. Cassi whispered,

"Thank you, Sirius."


	15. Suspicions and Quidditch

Cassi sat alone in the common room. It was almost 1:30 a.m. She had watched another Christmas come and go in this room, full of laughter, and presents, and friends. She sighed and rubbed her eyes. She leaned back against the couch, tucking her legs underneath her. She was starting to drift off when a small noise snapped her into awareness. It was a foot, falling on wrapping paper.

"Hello?" she whispered into the darkness.

"Hey, Cass." Sirius whispered back.

Cassi smiled as Sirius came to sit next to her. She pulled the edge of her blanket off the couch so he could sit there. He was staring into the fire.

"Still awake?" he asked.

"Couldn't sleep."

"Me neither." He was staring into the depths of the fire, a fierce look on his face. Cassi leaned forward.

"Sirius, what's wrong?"

He looked up. He sighed.

"I would say nothing, but I know you won't believe me." Cassi smiled at him, encouragingly. He sighed and turned to face her.

"Did you know, that before I came here, we never really celebrated Christmas? I mean, there were things to do, but there was never a real celebration. We would eat a formal dinner, and formally open presents, and have a formal party. We would sit around the Christmas tree, looking like a painting, reading, or drawing, or whatever. It was like a painting, the entire thing. No real emotion. Reg and I used to meet in my room after we were supposed to be asleep, and we would have a real Christmas celebration. But never with my parents. I don't have one happy Christmas memory before my eleventh. And, the saddest thing was, I never wanted one. I never knew what Christmas could be like, so I couldn't miss it. I thought everyone was like that. I was so startled when James woke me up by jumping on me, because we never did that. God, I can't believe I just told you this. But I-I feel like you, of all people would get it. I mean, we are in the same boat, aren't we?"

He looked at Cassi hopefully. She smiled back.

"Yes, yes we are. And I do understand."

She hugged him. She knew he didn't need to be talked to, because she wouldn't want to be, in his situation. She stroked his hair. She swallowed as she realized exactly how soft his hair was. She sat there, arms around him, as night turned to day.

Cassi woke up early. She was lying, not on her bed, but on something hard. She had no blanket, so she promptly felt around for one. Her bed shifted and groaned. She sat bolt upright.

Hand clasped to her mouth, she realized she'd been sleeping on Sirius. He was still sprawled over the couch, in a way she would not have thought humanly possible. She smiled a little. She crept away, blushing furiously, in the gray light of dawn.

Days passed, and the snow was melting. Hogwarts returned to normal life, invigorated with the promise of spring just around the corner. Life went on for all. There was an interesting new twist, though. A group, calling themselves the Marauders, was beginning to wreak havoc. Sirius, James, Peter, and Remus still pulled their normal pranks, but whoever these Marauders were, they were far cleverer than anyone could have thought.

Cassi had her suspicions. James and Sirius had been spotted in the library, which could mean nothing but trouble. She had been searching for an essay of hers that Sirius had stolen, when she noticed the carpet was covered with black hairs. She had bent to study them, and realized they were dog hairs. There were no dogs at Hogwarts, so Cassi had been very suspicious.

Her suspicions had been driven out of her head by two things. The first was Lily, the second, Quidditch.

Lily had been distancing herself from Cassi, slowly but surely. After coming back from Christmas holidays, Lily had been sitting with Alice in classes, and talking to Mary McDonald, who she knew Cassi couldn't stand, more and more often. Cassi felt sad, but could see the reasoning behind it. Ever since she and Sirius had started hanging out, James had been with them, and he was always after Lily. Just because she could understand, didn't make it hurt any less.

Quidditch, however, was a far more pressing matter. The semi finals were fast approaching. Cassi had been training every other day with the team, but secretly, had been training by herself ever day. She was much better, and could execute moves she knew the Ravenclaw Seeker didn't have a prayer of doing.

It was late one evening, when most of the school was at dinner, that she saw something that brought her suspicions to the forefront of her thoughts. A black dog was padding at the edge of the forest. She flew closer to the forest, abandoning the pitch. She flew silently over the sea of trees, following the dog at a distance. Then, something even stranger happened. the dog stopped, and a stag stepped out of the trees. She frowned. Animals weren't supposed to act like that. The dog didn't even bark. She was about to get closer when a voice yelled, "Cassi!"

Her head whipped around. It was Remus, standing by the stands. She turned back, but the stag and dog had gone. She flew back to Remus.

It was the day of the semi finals. March was warm. The snow was almost completely gone, and the wind promised warmer days ahead. Cassi strode down to the pitch in a bad mood. Those Marauders had played another prank at breakfast. Just as everyone was reaching for the buns, fireworks exploded out of them. They spelled out "GO GRYFFINDORS" in sparkling gold and red stars, and a golden lion raced around the Great Hall. At the same time, green goop splattered the Slytherins. Cassi didn't particularly mind that, but what she did mind was never getting a bun.

So now she was marching down to the pitch, anxious and hungry. She changed robotically. She was about to leave when she caught giggles coming from the showers. She went to investigate, and promptly wished she hadn't. Sirius was standing against a wall. His arms were wrapped around a Ravenclaw she thought was Jeannette Ramsey. And his tongue was thoroughly involved with hers. She cleared her throat.

"We're supposed to be playing Quidditch, not tonsil hockey."

The couple broke apart, Sirius looking abashed, and Ramsey, defiant.

"What's it to you, Sinclaire?"

She strode off, leaving Sirius and Cassi facing each other. Sirius tried to say something, but Cassi had whipped around and left before he could get a word out.

Cassi was vaguely aware of going onto the pitch, of the cheering of the crowds, the whistle, the push off. She didn't even realize where she was until she was already fifty feet in the air. She took a deep breath, and began the search for the Snitch.

It was almost an hour later. The teams were tied, 60-60. Whoever caught the Snitch would win. It was the longest a Quidditch game had ever gone on, in Cassi's memory. She was getting tired, and, try as she might, she couldn't force the thought of Sirius out of her head. She happened to glance down when she saw it. A glimmer of gold, a few feet above the pitch. She dove, faster and faster.

Ramsey, the Ravenclaw Seeker, was tailing her, but Cassi gritted her teeth and drove herself to pull ahead. And she did. She left Ramsey behind. It was then she realized she was not in a controlled dive, not even really a dive at all, but a reckless freefall. She didn't care. She was determined to reach the Snitch. And she did. Her fingers closed around the ball, but all she could see was the upcoming ground.

She slammed into it, harder then she had ever hit anything. She heard cracks, and felt pain, everywhere. Her head smashed into the pitch, and her vision went blurry. She could hardly see. She couldn't breathe. Her throat was constricted, and her chest wouldn't expand. She struggled. She wasn't aware of the noise until she heard someone scream, "CASSI!" the voice was panicked, and she wanted to say, "I'm fine", but she couldn't move. Noise broke on her ear, rushing up and quickly overwhelming her as she slid into oblivion.


	16. Aftermath and Moving On

Cassi came to slowly. Every breath she took in hurt, and her head was throbbing with pain that nearly made her pass out again. She didn't think she could move her arms or legs, and she was not tempted to try. She blinked her eyes open. She frowned slightly as her left eye wouldn't open. She reached a hand up to her face, trying to see what was wrong, and gasped in pain. This noise made the black haired boy lying across the foot of her bed stir.

Fighting tears, Cassi looked around her, trying to ignore the obscurity over her left eye. She was in the Hospital Wing, and it was nighttime. Evening. Blue-gray light was just beginning to fall softly over the stones in the floor. Her bed sat in darkness. She was in incredible pain. She bit her lip. She wanted to know why her eye was covered. Her endless, circling thoughts eventually led her into sleep.

Sirius was awake when she woke up this time. She felt a little better, able to move without crying out in pain. But whatever was over her eye was still there. She couldn't quite lift her hand to feel it, but she knew it'd be taken off eventually. She sat up a little. Sirius was nervously watching over her, this time accompanied by James. He was biting his lip. Cassi spoke, her voice much softer than she had ever heard it.

"What happened?"

James looked up. Sirius stared out the window.

"You tell her," he said. "I'm leaving."

James sighed, then scooted his chair closer to Cassi, the noise making her wince.

"Well, Cass, you see, after that dive, we were all pretty sure you were dead. It's the fastest I've ever seen anyone go on a broom. And you hit the ground so hard…"

"What's wrong with me, James?"

He sighed.

"You're not going to like it. You broke both your arms, shattered your left femur, misaligned your spine, and fractured your skull. Altogether, you are lucky to be alive."

"But what's wrong with my eye?"

James looked at her strangely.

"Cass, your eye's fine."

"No, my left eye is closed."

"No, its not. Here-" he reached to the dresser and got a mirror, "See for yourself."

Indeed, Cassi saw her face staring back at her, just as it had been before the match. Her left eye was open and clear, still the same sky blue. But she couldn't see out of it.

"James," she whispered as she lowered the mirror, "I'm blind."

James was furious with Sirius for leaving.

"You could have at least helped, you coward!" James was shouting. Sirius was facing the wall, eyes staring at the stone.

"I would've only made it worse."

James was confused.

"But Cassi likes you, you guys are so close-"

"No. Not after yesterday, we aren't."

"I don't understand you. You are so obviously in love with her, its sick, but you won't admit it!"

"You're one to talk, James."

"Well, at least I admit it I love Lily. You won't even accept its possible!"

"BECAUSE ITS NOT. Its just not, okay?"

with that, Sirius whirled out of the room, still fuming. James sank onto his bed. Remus looked up, concerned.

"James, you okay?"

"Yeah. But Remy, Cassi is blind in her left eye. She's not going to be walking for several weeks, and she may never play Quidditch again. Remy, her whole life changed in one minute. And Sirius walked out on her. He's one of her best friends. And he didn't care. He wouldn't stay."

Remus looked at James, brow furrowed.

"Wouldn't stay, or couldn't?"

Cassi was staring out the window. She had healed a lot these past few weeks. It had been hard to walk again, but she was almost back to normal. She felt stiff inside, sometimes, but it wasn't enough to distract her. She sighed, leaning back against her pillows and reaching for a pile of homework. She had been keeping up, even going to a few classes. She would be released for good tomorrow. Her bones were healed, but her sight wasn't. Madame Pomfrey didn't think it ever would heal. She sighed again.

The door swung open with a creak. It was James, as usual. This time, though, he was accompanied by Sirius. She felt her body stiffen. She and Sirius hadn't been alone together since the accident.

James and Cassi made small talk for half an hour before James left, saying he'd be back soon, but he really had to go. This left Sirius and Cassi alone together. Cassi shifted uncomfortably, and Sirius stared harder out the window.

"Cassi," he started, jerking her out of her thoughts. "I'm sorry I didn't stay, I'm sorry I never came to visit you, I just couldn't. I-I-I couldn't stand to sit there and watch you in pain, and not be-be able to help you. And I just made more of a mess of things, didn't I?" he smiled sadly.

"Yes, Sirius, you made a right ass of yourself."

"I know."

"Sirius…" it was Cassi's turn to trail off. "About Ramsey…"

Sirius blushed.

"Oh. That, that was nothing. She just, forced herself, I guess. And I couldn't say no."

Cassi nodded. She wouldn't forget it, but she would forgive it. She would never, though, never let Sirius come as close to her heart as he'd been. She'd admitted to herself she was in love with him while she was in the Hospital Wing. And she had also realized she couldn't afford to be. She smiled at him, fingering the dog charm that still dangled from her wrist.

Cassi took a deep breath before opening the door to her familiar dorm. What she saw shocked her. All five girls, Lily, Alice, Mary, Marlene, and Dorcas, were sitting in a circle in the middle of the room, laughing and talking. Everything got quiet when she walked in. Lily looked up. Her green eyes were distant, and they made Cassi want to cry for the friendship she had so obviously lost. She didn't understand how it had happened. She smiled back, just as fakely, and grabbed her towel. She hurried to turn the water on so it could bury her sobs.

Cassi had changed that year. It was May, and no one could remember her being so quiet. She sat with James and Sirius during meals now, and in the classrooms. Lily and her friends had ditched her, for reasons no of them really understood. It just wasn't right any more. She and James got closer, as she wouldn't let Sirius nearly as far in as she had before. She even became friends with Peter, hanging out with the small, normally quiet boy, finding that, in the right circumstances, he could be funny and kind. They had a friend, a shy fourth year Gryffindor named Jade Huxley.

Cassi's life went on, and she branched out more. She was quiet, but to most people, she appealed more. She had friends wherever she went, girls who would turn their backs to Lily Evans and her crew. She was accepted by other houses. She also noticed, sometime in early May, that boys' eyes' were following her as she walked down the hall. She had lost a good deal of weight in her invalidation, and she was far thinner now. Everything seemed to be going according to plan.

She didn't paly Quidditch, though. She could have, but just being in the pitch made her clammy and fearful. She couldn't even watch the games without being overcome by fear. James had taken her position as Seeker, though, and a third year had been enlisted as a new Chaser. Everything seemed to be going perfectly, with her and her friends, especially with Sirius. They were close now. She didn't trust herself around him, but he seemed to be extra cautious not to mess with her. They were back to being the best of friends again.

All that changed, though, in a single day.

Or, rather, in a single night.


	17. That Night

**Author's Note: this chapter is where it gets a little awkward.**

The end of fifth year drew near. With the O.W.L.s rapidly approaching, no one had time for fun and games anymore. Cassi was practically drowning in practical work that she had missed while in the Hospital Wing. Luckily, she had James to help her.

It was right after the O.W.L.s finished for good when the first of the big changes came.

After the end of the exam, Cassi had hurried up to her dorm, refusing offers to go outside with James and Sirius and the rest. She hurried up the stairs, not caring about the strange looks she received from most of the student body. Every now and then, someone would wave or say hi. Cassi would wave distractedly. Just when she thought she couldn't stand it any more, she burst through the door of her empty dorm. And burst into tears.

Cassi's sobs slowly declined as she calmed down. She was able to think clearly again. The letter from her mother was clenched tightly in her left hand, the wrinkled paper pressing against her palm. She sat up. Her eyes were red and puffy.

Moving to sit at the vanity in her room, she looked at her reflection. Her blue eyes were surrounded by red skin from all her crying, and her nose was red, too. Her hair was messily falling out of her braid and framed her face in a frizzy sort of halo. Her skin was abnormally pale for this time of year, what with all the studying she had been doing. She slowly relaxed her grip on the letter.

She was startled when the tranquility of the room was broken by the door being thrown open. In the doorway stood one very distraught Lily Evans. Cassi turned her face away from her former friend. Lily hurtled across the room and threw herself onto the bed, where she promptly began screaming and beating her pillow. Cassi was taken aback by such a violent reaction from Lily, who was normally so calm.

"Lily?" she asked, tentatively.

Lily looked up, her face screwed up and red from her screams. She stared at Cassi for a few seconds before bursting into tears. Cassi was unsettled, unsure as to what she should do. She took a deep breath and made up her mind. She stood up and gently walked across the room to sit by Lily. She wrapped her friend in a hug. Lily stiffened momentarily, before she continued crying into Cassi's shoulder.

Alice was surprised by the sight that greeted her when she walked into the girl's dorms. Lily and Cassi were sitting on Lily's bed, laughing. Cassi looked up as Alice walked in.

"C'mon, Al, join us!"

Cassi couldn't believe that she would be leaving Hogwarts again. Tomorrow, she would board the train going home for the fifth time. She would spend her fifth summer by the seashore with her mother and sister. That was far away tonight, though.

"TO THE SUMMER!"

James was standing on a table, shouting, as he uncorked the butterbeer he was holding with a fantastic bang. Cassi grinned. Leave it to James to host the most exciting party of the year. The food had been stolen, the people invited, the doors silenced, and now, the party was about to go into full swing.

Cassi loved the sheer energy she could feel running down her spine, the atmosphere. Despite her recent quietness, Cassi wasn't really an introvert, and she was all for partying. Lily stood at her side, watching the antics of James and Remus with a cool amusement. Cassi frowned slightly as she realized Sirius was nowhere to be found. She tapped Lily and whispered, "I'm going to go get some food" into the redhead's ear.

Shs slid through the crowd, smiling at people she knew, never stopping to chat with anyone.

She made her way over to the food table. Piles and piles of candies, cakes, and every type of alcohol, the table seemed to sag under the weight. And, sure enough, there was Sirius, standing at the end of the table.

He was diligently mixing firewhiskey and a few types of juices into a cup. Cassi crept up on him, grabbing him soundly around the waist. He jumped, almost spilling his drink, and Cassi was made painfully aware of just how good he smelled. She smiled as he turned, a half glare on his face.

"Cassi. You nearly made me drop this." He gestured to the drink in his hand.

"I know." Cassi beamed up at him.

He rolled his eyes, and took a sip of his drink. He shuddered slightly, then smiled. Cassi looked at his cup curiously.

"Can I have one?"

Sirius looked up, doubtful.

"What, one of these?"

Cassi nodded.

"Cass, you've never drank alcohol before, that might not be the best idea."

"Sirius, I am sixteen and perfectly capable of drinking. You drink."

"Yes, but I've been drinking since I was nine and my father gave me wine, you haven't. I have a much higher tolerance."

"Why, Siri, I'm surprised." Cassi put on a pout. "Don't you want me drunk so you can take advantage of me?"

Sirius gulped and shook his head. He noticed how her pink lips curved to a smile, and couldn't stop himself from wondering what it would be like to kiss her.

"I don't want you drunk, Cass."

But he poured her a drink just the same.

It was almost midnight, and the party showed no signs of slowing. Most of the common room had been turned into a dance floor. Lily sat with Marlene and Alice on the floor by the fireplace, laughing hysterically. Lily was rolling on the floor, and she didn't notice James' eyes on her. James was dancing at the very edge with two sixth years.

Cassi and Sirius, however, were in the very center of the dancing crowd.

Cassi grinned up at Sirius as she swayed her hips to the music. Sirius grinned down at her as he matched her movements. He noticed how bright her eyes were, how loose her movements were, and how her breath smelled like alcohol, but his fuzzy mind didn't comprehend it. All he could see was the fact that the girl in front of him was absolutely gorgeous, and alluring, and amazing.

Cassi stared up at Sirius, letting the music carry her as she wondered at the softness of his hair, the precise color of his eyes, a breaking storm. And she knew she was in love with him. She knew, really, that she had always been in love, and that she probably always would be. She wrapped her arms around Sirius' neck, surprising him, but he drew her closer anyways. She leaned into him. Their eyes met, blue and gray, and all the unsaid words passed between them. Sirius realized with a start that he had never loved anyone else. Just Cassi. It had always been Cassi.

He realized, too, that every time he had held a girl's hand, he had imagined her quick, expressive hands instead. Every time he had kissed a girl, he had imagined it to be Cassi's lips under his. Every time he had run his fingers through a girl's hair, he had imagined it long, and curly, and the color of the sun.

Cassi was lost in Sirius' eyes. Really and truly lost, and she wasn't sure she would ever find her way out, but she also wasn't sure she wanted to.

Sirius bent over, until their faces were touching, noses brushing. She smiled softly, and Sirius kissed her. He wasn't sure why, but he knew he needed to, knew he would regret it if he didn't.

Cassi felt heat rush to her face, but she couldn't really feel embarrassed, because it felt right. It felt perfect, and real. Like they belonged together.

Sirius led Cassi, slowly, to the stairs. They still kissed every few seconds. Up the spiral staircase they went, leaving the noise and music behind. She kissed him more deeply, marveling at the sheer magic she felt.

Sirius pushed the door to his dorm open, and kissed Cassi again. She wrapped her arms around him, as if determined not to let him go. He grabbed her waist, forceful, but loving the sensation of her skin. She smiled against his lips, and pulled him, slowly, over to the bed she knew was his. She fell back, her hair splashing over the pillows in a golden waterfall.

Sirius took a moment to appraise just how beautiful she was, that beauty multiplied by her current position, sprawled across his bed. He kissed her softly, once more, not caring she tasted like alcohol, because she tasted like her as well.

Cassi sighed softly against his mouth, knowing that she was drunk, but unable to fight the feeling, the sneaking suspicion, that this was right.


	18. Regrets and Going Home

Cassi woke up early. It was really too early. The sun wasn't yet shining through the window. Except that couldn't be right, because she couldn't see the window from her bed. She frowned slightly, and sat up, wincing with her hangover. She hoped Lily would have the hangover potion. Her frown deepened as she saw the messy room, the posters on the wall. She gulped.

Turning back to the bed she had been sleeping in, she realized, with horror, that Sirius Black lay against the wall, his head buried under a pillow, chest half bare. It was then that she realized she wasn't clothed. Blushing so profoundly she thought she would light up the room like a lantern, she grabbed her clothes, dressed as ast as possible, and crept back to her own room.

She slid through the door, hoping that everyone was asleep. No such luck. Sitting on her bed, arms crossed, as a very angry Lily Evans. She glared. She stood abruptly, grabbed Cassi's arm, and pulled her into the bathroom.

Casting the silencing charm on the door, she whipped around to glare at Cassi.

"Where were you last night?" she asked.

Cassi sighed, and looked down at her feet.

"Lily, I was with…..I was….I was with Sirius."

Saying it out loud suddenly brought it home for Cassi. She sank to the floor, tears welling in her eyes.

"Lily, what have I done?" she whispered.

Lily looked very concerned. She sank down to her friend's level.

"Cass, I'm sure it wasn't that bad."

"I slept with him."

Lily was taken aback.

"Well, I'm not surprised, I mean, you have been in love forever, and I knew it was going to happen sometime."

Cassi looked up.

"I'm not in love with him. Lils, he used me. He got me drunk and used me."

Lily sighed.

"Cass, I'm sure that wasn't his intention. Sirius may have a lot of faults, but he has good intentions, and he really does care about you."

Cassi shook her head.

"No. I'm just going to go on pretending that this never happened. we'll both be happier that way.

Cassi resolutely ignored Sirius at breakfast, no matter how desperately he tried to catch her attention. By the time they were packing, Sirius was fuming.

"I don't get it. I mean, I guess it could be a little awkward, but I really do like her, and I want to date her, you know?"

Remus rolled his eyes.

"Have you ever considered the fact that that was probably Cassi's first time? That she lost it while she was drunk?"

Sirius gulped. He stared at the floor as he sank onto the bed.

"I'm such an idiot. I messed up. I shouldn't have gotten drunk, I shouldn't have given her the firewhiskey, shouldn't have brought her back here, shouldn't have donw a thousand things."

James looked up.

"I'm just surprised she did it. I mean, Cassi? Come on, not really all that loose. I think you might even be the first boy she's ever kissed."

Sirius groaned.

"That just makes it even worse."

Remus sighed.

"Sirius, just give her some time. Wait until summer, then write her and explain everything, explain that you love her and want to date her. She'll see reason eventually. Right now, she's just too tender about it."

Cassi sat in a full compartment. Marlene, Mary, Alice, Dorcas, and Lily all sat around her, babying her with their outrage and insults to Sirius and men in general. It did make her feel a little better.

Slowly, they all trickled out to do one thing or another, until it was only Marlene left with Cassi. Cassi stared out the window.

"Cassi?"

Cassi's head turned to face Marlene.

"Hmm?" she asked.

"I just, uh, I just wanted to make a few things clear. Its really been bothering me. Well, I wanted to say I'm sorry. For everything I've ever done to you. You know, its weird, the very first time I saw you, I didn't like you."

Cassi looked up, confused.

"Well," Marlene continued, "I guess it wasn't dislike. I think it was jealousy. You're so pretty, and smart, and everyone likes you. And I just, well, no one really likes me. Its cause I'm a bitter bitch, I know. But, I do have a reason. Not that it makes it any better, of course, but I do have one. I'm the youngest of five daughters. Big family. You don't know what its like to be the youngest, to have everyone overlook you unless you do something wrong, to never be good enough because some other sister has already done it. It hurts. And you just, well, you just made it harder for me. I didn't want it to be like that here, at Hogwarts, and I was afraid people were going to do that to us. But they didn't. It was stupid, really."

The girl sighed, blowing her black bangs out of her eyes. Cassi stared at her, then smiled.

"Thanks, Marlene. That really does make things better, I think, mostly because I understand you more." Cassi smiled.

"Thanks. Oh, and call me Marlzy. I hate Marlene."

Lily and Alice were surprised, on returning, to find Marlzy and Cassi laughing like they were best friends. Lily raised her eyebrows at Alice, who simply shrugged.

The platform was steamy and hot. The summer had set in early that year. Cassi stood by her trunk, waiting for Drea. Marlzy was a short distance away, talking to Dorcas about their summer.

Cassi looked up as she heard someone approach. Her heart stopped beating for a second as she saw it was Sirius. Her mouth turned down.

"What do you want, Black?"

Sirius' eyes flashed.

"I was coming to apologize, Sinclaire, but I see it isn't needed."

"What do you have to apologize for, I'm the one who was leading you on, sleeping with you."

"Well, I think I do. I always apologize to the whores I use." With that, he turned around, stalking off, leaving Cassi openmouthed. Marlzy came up, suspicious.

"What was going on, Cass?"

Cassi explained to her, watching Marlzy's normally light brown eyes darken with rage. She stalked off, following Sirius.

Several seconds later, yells were reverberating around the platform.

Cassi sighed. It really wasn't worth this. She happened to glance up, and see Drea kissing Regulus Black goodbye. Cassi wondered, with a jolt, if that was what she and Sirius would have looked like, if everything had worked out.

She shook her head. She couldn't be thinking things like this. Sirius obviously didn't actually care about her. She tried to convince herself that the conviction she'd had that things were right with Sirius was just the alcohol talking. She didn't deny she was in love with him, but she couldn't afford to be. So she would spend this summer getting over it.

**Author's Note: You didn't think they'd be getting together THAT easily, did you? Nope, they are wayyyyyyy too stubborn for their own good.**


	19. The Summer and Potter Estate

Cassi hated being home, and she hadn't even been there for a week. Her mother had decided not to go to the beach that year, because there were other, more important things to do. Those things turned out to be a neverending series of pureblood parties and functions. Cassi had been to three in this week alone.

What was even worse was that her mother felt the need to take over her father's strong, domineering postion. Her mother had normally been the kind one, but now, she was just as difficult to get on with as her father had been.

So, when James wrote her and asked if she would like to visit, her immediate reply was yes.

She came downstairs with her letter. She found her mother and sister in the parlor taking tea with Walburga and Regulus Black. They were on the subject of Narcissa's impending marriage, and it seemed that they were hinting that a marriage between Drea and Reg would be very approved.

Cassi approached her mother respectfully.

"Mother, a friend of mine has requested that I come to visit and stay awhile at his house. I would ask your permission to go."

Aphrodite studied her daughter carefully, her blue eyes slightly narrowed. She nodded, curtly, once.

"Tell me when you wish to leave. I expect that I will be hearing from you soon as to the duration of your stay."

Cassi turned to leave.

"Oh, and Cassieopia, this will be a pureblood's house you will be staying at, correct?"

Cassi turned.

"Naturally, Mother."

Cassi hadn't lied. James was a pureblooded as they came. He told her to Floo over to Potter Estate in Godric's Hollow the very next day, and to pack quite a bit, because he expected she would be staying quite a while.

So, that was how, at noon the next day, Cassi was sitting on her trunk, trying to lock it, and failing miserably. She had half an hour before she was scheduled to Floo to James', and she couldn't even close her trunk.

Drea came into her room. As always, Drea was dressed perfectly, very classy and wealthy. She sat down on the bed next to her sister's trunk.

"Cass, whose house are you going to?"

Cassi looked up.

"Oh, James Potter's."

Drea bit her lip.

"Just be careful, Cass. His family is considered blood traitors, and the Dark Lord might decide to get rid of them. So be alert and watch your back. Oh, and please tell anyone I told you this."

With that, she stood up to leave. Cassi mulled what she had said over in her head, and made a mental note to tell the Potters as soon as possible.

Standing with her trunk and her owl in front of the fire, fist full of glittering powder, she sighed, taking one last look around the parlor. She threw her handful of powder into the fire, watched as the flames turned green, and stepped inside, dragging her trunk with her. "Potter Estate!" she called, and she was off.

She landed with a thump, only minutes later. She was sitting on the hearth of a beautiful marble fireplace. She took in the fact the room was blue before she was barreled over by a familiar boy.

"CASSSIIII!!!!"

She was thrown back, half strangled.

"James-can't-breathe!" she managed to get out.

"Oh, whoops, sorry. Hey, you want to go on a tour of the house? It might take a while, though, and it is a really pretty day. Hey, maybe we could play Quidditch! Oh, wait, you don't play anymore. Hmmm….well, did you eat before you came, cause you could have some lunch! Oh, and meet my parents!" this was all said very quickly in one breath.

"Jamie, why don't you back off the girl and let her breath before overwhelming her?" a voice said from above them. Cassi sat up to see a pretty woman with short red hair streaked with gray, and kind brown eyes.

"My name is Dorea Potter, I'm James' mother. You must be Cassi, then?"

Cassi nodded.

"Well, have you eaten any lunch?"

Cassi shook her head.

"My husband and I were jut going to eat, why don't you and James join us?"

Cassi smiled, but said, "What should I do with my things?"

"Larky will get them, don't worry. Follow me."

Cassi followed Mrs Potter and James through the light blue and white parlor, into a dark mahogany hall, and into the crème dining room. It was not the formal dining room, but it was big enough. It was lit by an incredible glass ceiling, and several sets of floor to ceiling windows, studded with the occasional French doors that led onto a patio. The patio overlooked a well groomed Quidditch pitch. They were just outside the village of Godric's Hollow.

Cassi turned her attention to the man sitting at the head of the table. He was a carbon copy of James, with messy salt and pepper hair and smile lines around his mouth. His round glasses were perched on the end of his nose, just as James' always were. Cassi grinned.

The man looked up.

"Ah! You must be the famous Cassi. It's a pleasure to meet you. James can't shut up about you or that Lily girl." James blushed.

"Dad!"

"What? Its true, and I'm sure she probably knows it."

"That I do, sir."

"Please, call me Charlus."

"Okay, Charlus." Cassi grinned. She could tell she would like it here.

It was late at night, three days after Cassi had arrived at the Potters' house. She was lying on the lawn, halfway between the patio and the Quidditch pitch, and staring at the stars. James was lying on his back next to her.

"Look, Cass, there's the Big Dipper, and there's Sirius!"

Cassi stiffened at the name. James turned quizzically to her.

"That reminds me, what happened with you and Sirius?"

"I'd rather not talk about it."

"But you will! Or I'll have to get all my information from Sirius!"

"Well, I guess."

Cassi took a deep breath.

"It happened at the end o the year party. I was drunk, and so was Sirius. We ended up, well, sleeping together."

James turned his face to her.

"I know that. I'm not stupid. Or that deep a sleeper."

Cassi rolled her eyes.

"Anyways, it was awkward, and I was upset for him using me, and I was obviously embarrassed, and he just made everything worse, and I just…James, I think I'm in love with him. But I can't be, because he's only going to mess me up."

James looked at her, thoughtful. It was times like these when the normally childish James showed incredible depth.

"Hmmm. That is a conundrum. But I don't think its as bad as you think it is. Because I talked to Sirius, and he really, really loves you. Don't give me that look! You know its true. You just, well, both of you, you need to realize you're in love and get together already!"

Cassi sighed.

"I guess you're right. Speaking of needing to get together already, how are you and Lily going?"

James groaned and rolled over.

"Horrible. She won't get over what I did after the O.W.L.s, no matter how many times I apologize."

"Just give her some time. Lily can be really stubborn, but she comes around eventually."

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

The still night air was broken with a BANG. James and Cassi sat bolt upright. There was a desperate knocking at the door, followed by a sob from Dorea Potter. Cassi and James barreled into the house. James flew to the door.

He sighed quickly. His mother was hugging a very familiar figure, silhouetted against the door. James hugged him too.

Cassi held back, because the person was none other than Sirius Black.


	20. The Long Summer and Talks

**Author's Note: Chapter 20 is up! Obviously. **

Cassi was so confused that she didn't know what to think. She lay in her bed, alone. It was very late, but she could hear the sounds of talking downstairs. She had excused herself after saying a polite hello to Sirius, avoided eye contact with James, and pleaded exhaustion.

Now, lying in her bed, staring at the ceiling, she thought again and again of that night, and the one conversation she'd had with Sirius since. He was in the house now, with her, just a few doors away in a guest bedroom. She groaned and rolled over onto her other side. She was staring at the wall now. There was a slight creak as the door opened, and Cassi sat straight up in bed.

"Who's there?"

"Shush, Cass, its me!" came the return whisper.

"James?"

"The very same."

With that, James swept off the Invisibility Cloak he had been wearing to reveal himself, grinning, in his pajamas.

"I knew you would still be awake!"

Cassi rolled her eyes.

"You knew that because you knew you would come creeping into my room wearing an Invisibility Cloak at all hours of the night!"

James grinned in reply.

"You're welcome, Cass."

They sat in silence for a few minutes, watching the moon rise through Cassi's window. Then James turned to her.

"Cass, I know you and Sirius had that whole awkward thing, but can't you at least try to make up? Or even give him a chance? I talked to him, and he really wasn't trying to use you or anything. He really does like you."

Cassi sighed.

"Well, he's going to have to tell me that himself."

The rest of summer passed, slowly but surely. Cassi spent three happy weeks at James's house before her mother required her to come home. It had been awkward with Sirius at first, but the next day, Remus and Peter had arrived, so the awkwardness was lessened.

Cassi didn't find out where Sirius had come from, or why he was there, until she returned home.

Cassi and Drea were sitting in the parlor, reading. Cassi idly turned the page, then glanced out the window at the afternoon sun. Drea looked up from the heavy tome she was holding on her lap. Cassi looked abruptly down again.

This was how most afternoons were spent in the Sinclaire household. Her mother would entertain a few friends in the sun room, and Drea and Cassi would be confined to the parlor. Cassi didn't really mind.

This particular day, Walburga Black was sitting in the sun room, taking tea. She had, however, brought Regulus, and the boy was sitting on the couch next to Drea, watching her.

Drea smiled at him, and he took her hand. She pulled it away with a frightened glance at Cassi, who merely rolled her eyes.

Regulus spoke.

"Cassi, have you heard anything from my brother lately?"

He spoke in a whisper, as though desperate not to get caught. Drea stiffened. Cassi raised her eyebrows.

"No, should I have?"

"No, of course not. I had merely heard you were at the Potter's house recently, and if that was where he had gone."

Cassi frowned slightly.

"Yes, that was where he was. He got there a few days after me. He's probably still there. Didn't your parents know?"

Regulus sighed, and looked down.

"No. Didn't you know?"

Cassi replied, "Know what?"

Regulus' shoulders slumped.

"Sirius ran away from home, after denouncing the pureblood ideals."

Cassi's mouth fell open. She was shocked and horrified at that particular piece of news.

"No."

Regulus nodded. He seemed very upset, which surprised Cassi. Sirius and Regulus were always fighting, and she hadn't realized that Regulus still cared.

"I'm sorry."

Regulus looked up, his eyes blazing.

"Why should you be? He's a blood traitor, we're better off without him."

It was almost midnight when Drea swept into Cassi's bedroom. Drea always swept everywhere, because it was expected of a pureblood lady, and that was what she was. Cassi was sitting on her couch by the fire, reading a letter from Lily. She hastily shoved it away when her sister came to sit by her.

"I noticed something today." Drea started.

"Oh boy, how observant." Cassi replied sarcastically. Drea gave her an annoyed look and she grinned back.

"I noticed that you sounded very bitted when you talked about Sirius Black."

Cassi's mouth fell open. She hadn't even noticed she sounded bitter, so how could her sister? But Drea had always been the observant one, the one to notice everything, and even understand it.

"I want to know what happened between you two." She continued.

Cassi glared.

"Nothing happened."

Drea raised an eyebrow.

"I'm not an idiot. Just because I'm a Slytherin doesn't mean I can't hear Gryffindor gossip. And if I heard it correctly, there was some affair between you and Black. And I would like to know the truth."

Cassi's shoulders sank.

"There was. You heard correctly. Drea, promise you won't tell anyone."

Drea nodded. "Of course not."

"Well," Cassi continued, "at the end of the year party, I got drunk. And I ended up…I ended up….with Sirius….and we….I..-"

"You slept with him." It was stated as a fact, not a question. Cassi nodded miserably. Drea sighed.

"Don't worry, Cass. I won't tell. Besides, if I did, you would tell Mother about Regulus, and I would never see him again."

Cassi looked up.

"Oh yes. What's going on between you? I saw you kissing on the platform."

Drea blushed.

"We're dating, of course. He's going to ask permission from Mother to court me at the end of this year."

"Drea, you're not even a fifth year!"

"I know, but I really do love him, and he's the only one for me. We can court until the end of school, and maybe get married after that."

Cassi sighed.

"Glad to know things are working out for you, at least."

"Oh, they haven't yet, Mother hasn't approved. And, somehow, I think it will work out better for you then you think."

Cassi sighed.

"I sure hope you're right."

Before they knew it, it was time for the Sinclaire sisters to return to school. Regulus had been granted permission to court Drea, and both were utterly happy. Returning to school would be painful, Cassi decided. But she had no choice. That was how she came to be standing on the platform, surrounded by mist, waiting to begin her sixth year.


	21. Coming Back and Blowing Tops

**Author's Note: Wow. I'm alive. Even I'M surprised. I have been working on a show, and it was a killer, if i do say so myself. but I'm back now. **

Cassi sighed. It was so familiar, so regular. She had done it five times already, and she was about to do it again. The same compartment, the book, the same position, legs up on the seat, back against the window. She sat, book open against her legs, not really reading the text, waiting for the inevitable rush. The day was unusually hot for September, and sticky. The clouds above her head were gray, and frowned down on the world as if displeased with what they saw. There was a kind of tension, a kind of energy that cracked and sparkled, almost tangible, through the air. It was the calm before the storm.

"Cassi!"

The familiar figure of Lily Evans swung into the compartment. She sat in her place, closest to the window, across from Cassi. Her hair was longer, and her face thinner. Her eyes were almost dull in the half light from the stormy sky. She smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes.

"Hard summer, Lils?"

The redhead nodded.

"My sister got married to an absolutely horrible man. If I didn't know he was one hundred percent Muggle, I would think he was a Death Eater."

Cassi raised an eyebrow.

"He's really that bad?" Lily groaned and leaned back.

"You have no idea!"

"How do you know he isn't a Death Eater?" a new voice chimed in. Both girls turned to see the new addition to the compartment. Alice Carr, her brown hair in a bob around her face, stood in the doorway.

"Alice!" exclaimed Lily.

"Hey!"

Alice smiled, bitterly.

"How do you know he isn't a Death Eater?" she repeated.

Lily looked confused.

"He's about as Muggle as its possible to be, doesn't even like the idea of aeroplanes flying, says they don't belong in the sky."

"Well, he could be lying, couldn't he? I mean, everyone is like that now, lying to you to get what they want, using you, and just when you think you can trust someone, they go and blow you up. Isn't that the way this world works now?"

Lily was taken aback by Alice's rant.

"Well, I suppose, but…."

Cassi didn't stay to hear the rest of the conversation. She walked out into the corridor. Making her way through the stream of people, most familiar, she realized there were faces missing. It seemed that several students had been kept home. This made Cassi's heart lurch. It really was as bad as they said in the papers. The Sinclaires were, of course, pureblood royalty, and therefore untouchable to Death Eaters.

Cassi was shaken out of her reverie by the familiar voice of Peter Pettigrew.

"Cassi?"

She looked up and smiled.

"Hi Peter, hey Jade. Did you have good summers?"

Jade blanched and Peter looked down.

"Jade's, uh, mother was killed."

Cassi's hand flew to her mouth.

"Oh God, Jade, I'm sorry!"

The girl gave her a watery smile.

"It's fine, we weren't that close. But it does make you worried."

Cassi watched the pair retreat down the corridor, frown on her face. Another death. How long would this horror go on? Voldemort had been active since she was eleven, but it had never been as bad as this. Never been to the point that people were afraid to send their children to Hogwarts. It had been six years, but Voldemort was still at large. People were even beginning to call him "You-Know-Who". And everyone did know who.

"Cassi. Space cadet, what's up with you, yo? Dawg, she's way out."

Cassi looked up, eyebrow raised.

"James. You're British. Stop acting like a low class American."

James smiled.

"I thought I pulled it off rather well, if you ask me."

"I wasn't asking you. I was telling you. You have to have an American accent to pull off that dreadful sentence."

"Alright, Miss Sour Sara, ruin my fun."

"James, my name is Cassi. Not Sara. I would expect you to know this by now."

James threw up his hands.

"I give up! Fine, Miss….Candid? careful?"

Cassi rolled her eyes, and walked down the corridor, James following her, trying to think of adjectives that started with a c.

Cassi continued down the corridor before she got bored. She turned around, figuring it was safe to return to the compartment and avoid tears.

Cassi entered, followed by James, to see Lily and Alice laughing. Both girls looked up, smiling. Lily's smile faded when she saw James. An awkward silence followed while James thought, Lily glared, and Cassi and Alice tried to figure out how to avoid a fight. Finally James burst out with:

"Cambrian! Cambrian Cassi!"

The three girls stared at him. Lily turned to Cassi.

"Do I want to know?"

Cassi shook her head.

Cassi was at her wits end by the time she had reached the castle. Alice was pouting about something, Remus was waxing philosophical about the implications of Voldemort's actions on their society, Lily was making snide comments about James, who was still trying to think of C-adjectives, Peter would not shut up about how worried he was about Jade, and Sirius kept looking at her.

By the time the seven of them had sat down, Cassi was ready to commit murder.

"Cancroid Cassi!"

"Do you even know what that means?"

"Do you think Jade will be safe over Christmas hols?"

"Voldemort's actions, anthropologically speaking, show signs of a declining society."

"You'd need to look up the meaning of the word 'it', I bet."

"I mean, she lives alone with her aunt now. That's got to be an easy target."

"This implies, of course, that we, as a society, are on a steep decline into complete regression of civilization."

"Candescent Cassi!"

"James, that's a Muggle term."

"I mean, she is only a half blood."

Sirius chose that moment to glance over at Cassi again.

"SHUT UP!" she bellowed. Half the hall fell silent in shock. Cassi Sinclaire did not normally yell. Professor McGonagall stormed over.

"Miss Sinclaire, detention tomorrow, I should think."

Cassi groaned and put her head down. This year was just getting better and better. And to make things worse, everyone resumed their former trains of thought, only now, Lily was nagging her about her detention. Sirius looked at her again.

"Caseous Cassi!"

**Just in case you're wondering, all the adjectives that James uses are actual words. This is what dictionaries are for. They don't make sense, but hey, its James.**


	22. Sirius Reprecussions

To say that Cassi's mood had not improved would have been an understatement. 6th year just didn't seem to be agreeing with her. She would spend hours in her dorm, looking out the window, until Lily took up the habit of bothering her every time she sat down about James, homework, and patching things up with Sirius. Cassi was not interested in the slightest. So, she took to wandering the castle in her spare time.

It was October, just a few days before Halloween, that her habit had its first serious repercussions. Or, should we say, Sirius repercussions.

Cassi had been wandering the 7th floor, with a half formed plan of going to the Owlery, when she was distracted by the sound of an argument. Frowning, she wondered who would be up on the 7th floor during free period, and arguing, no less. Creeping silently forward, she knelt close to the ground, then peeped around the wall. Stifling a gasp, she withdrew her head quickly. She had turned straight into Sirius. Daring to take another peek, she quickly saw that Sirius was the one arguing. His gray eyes flashed as he frowned at the person he was arguing with. Glancing up, Cassi saw his opponent. She wasn't able to help her gasp that time, but fortunately, the opponent took that opportunity to snort.

Cassi looked up, one more time, at the green edged socks, black shoes she could see her face in, pleated wool skirt, starched white shirt, green and sliver tie of a Slytherin girl. But that wasn't what had made her gasp. What had made her gasp was the golden halo of curls that surrounded the girl's head, and the familiar hand movements, and, now that the girl was spitting a reply to Sirius, the familiar voice.

Cassi crept backwards, wondering what Sirius and Drea could be arguing about.

Cassi wandered aimlessly in the general direction of the common room. Her mind was filled with thoughts of Sirius and Drea's argument. She had been so concerned about them seeing her that she hadn't actually listened to their argument. She had just turned a corner when she ran into someone. Knocked backwards, she landed on the floor with a thump. Scrambling to her feet in case it was a SLytherin, she saw something that could almost be considered worse.

Sirius Black had his hand stretched out towards her, to help her up. She ignored the hand, and got to her feet, dusting herself off.

"Can't you watch where you're going, Black?"

It was the first thing she had said to him all year. Sirius's eyes narrowed.

"I could say the same about you, Sinclaire."

Cassi watched him stalk off, furious at him for trying to help her, and furious at herself that she should be blushing so much. Remembering the argument, she set off after him.

"Black, wait!"

Sirius stopped and turned around.

"Yes, Sinclaire?"

Cassi strode up to him and glared straight into his eyes.

"Why were you arguing with my sister?"

Sirius seemed taken aback by this question, and he blushed a deep red.

"Uh, no reason."

"Really?" said Cassi, cocking her head to the left, "Because it seemed like you were both pretty mad."

"Look, its no concern of yours why your sister and I are fighting."

"Ah, so you admit that you are fighting."

"Damn. Either way, not your business."

"Sirius Black, if you were coming on to her, you should know that she is dating-"

"My brother. Don't you think I would know that by now?"

Furious, he swung around and pinned her to the wall.

"All I've heard from my family all summer is how my little brother got the dream girl for him, while I lost mine."

With that, he let her go and stalked off. Cassi couldn't help but run after him.

"Sirius, wait."

He didn't stop. But he did turn around and say: "Don't call me that."

That pause was all Cassi needed to catch up to him.

"Sirius, you just said you lost your dream girl. Or, implied it. Who do you mean?"

"Are you really that thick, Sinclaire? If you can't guess, I'm not telling you. All I will tell you, is that I love that girl, more than anything else, and she dumped me flat on my face. but I still love her. Let me know if you figure it out."

He sucked into the portrait hole. Cassi hadn't even realized they had been standing by the portrait. She furrowed her brow, trying to think of who he could possibly mean.

"Lily, who do you think Sirius Black is in love with?"

Lily stuck her head out of the armoire, eyebrows raised.

"Why should I know who Black is in love with?"

Marlene looked up from her book.

"You've got to be kidding, Cass."

Cassi looked at Marlene, confused.

"No, I'm deadly serious. I need to know."

Alice stuck her head out of the bathroom, toothbrush in hand.

"Why, got a crush, Cass?" she asked, talking around a blob of toothpaste.

Cassi blushed furiously.

"ABSOLUTELY NOT."

Marlene smirked.

"Well, why not? You two seemed pretty friendly at the party last year, if you know what I mean-" Marlene was cut off by Cassi slapping her full in the face. Glaring at the girl on the bed, Cassi spat:

"Never, EVER mention that party to me AGAIN."

With a final bang, she slammed her curtain closed. She could hear Lily berating Marlene, but tried to block it out. She shouldn't be so sensitive about this. It was obvious Marlene had thought she'd moved on, and Sirius sure had, so why couldn't she? Oh yeah, because every time she closed her eyes she saw that night, replayed over and over in her head. Because every time she drank butterbeer, she wanted to cry. Because every time she saw his eyes, she remembered what they'd looked like in the moonlight, full of love. And she couldn't see those feelings going anywhere soon. She sighed and rolled over. She blinked away the first couple of tears and tried to figure out who Sirius could possibly be in love with.

**Author's Note: Cassi's pretty dumb, isn't she? Oh well. She'll figure it all out soon enough.....though i do wonder if I'll ever say what Sirius and Drea were arguing about..... ;)**


	23. Late Night Encounters

**Author's Note: Sooo, Cassi is being so stupid. Here is more stupidity, both from her and from everyone's favorite, James. But its not all stupid!**

Cassi spent most of her time watching Sirius these days, trying to figure out who he could possibly be in love with. She spent nearly as much time wondering what Sirius and Drea could have been arguing about. Finally, two weeks after the confrontation, she made up her mind to ask Drea about it.

The Library was quiet at 8pm. Cassi walked quietly, trying not to disturb anyone. She walked carefully to the back of the Library, to Drea's favorite table. Sure enough, the blond girl was sitting, bent over a book, nibbling on a peacock feather quill.

"Drea?"

The girl started, looking up at Cassi with shock.

"Cassi? What are you doing here?"

"And why are you talking to Drea?"

This came from Regulus, who had chosen that moment to stick his head out from behind a nearby shelf. Cassi glared at him, and he shrugged.

"Drea, maybe this is a little forward of me, but do you remember about two weeks ago, when you were arguing with Sirius?"

Drea's eyes widened with shock.

"You heard that?"

Cassi nodded.

"Well," she amended, "I saw that you were fighting. I didn't actually hear anything."

"Oh."

Drea looked down at her lap.

"I assume that now you want to ask me about it?"

Cassi nodded.

"Well," Drea started, "We were fighting about…you."

"About me?"

"Yes. I was, well, upset with Sirius. I heard what happened at the end of the year last year, and I was mad at him for taking advantage of you, and….well, I just couldn't help myself!"

Cassi was dumbfounded.

"You were arguing about…me?"

Drea rolled her eyes.

"What else do we have in common to argue about?"

"Uh, Regulus, Bellatrix, a lot of things."

Drea sighed.

"But Reggie and Trixie aren't something Sirius would ever argue about, not with me. He's desperate not to alienate me."

"Why?"

"Cassi, are you really that blind? He doesn't want to alienate me because-"

"DREA!"

The shrill cry came from behind one of the nearest bookshelves.

"Shit, that's Trixie! She'll kill you if she finds you here!"

"Let her.

"Cass, I'm serious! GO!"

"Fine."

Cassi stalked off, muttering about Slytherins and sisters. She caught a glimpse of the dark beauty sweeping into the small area around the table. Her presence, even in her school robes, seemed to take over the entire space. Cassi shuddered, then continued walking.

The clock struck 11. Cassi sighed. She was watching the lake from the roof. She hooked her arm around a gargoyle, small hands grasping at his ears.

"Cassi?"

She started. It was just James. Then she groaned as James was followed by a all too familiar dark haired boy.

"Cass, what are you doing up here at this time of night?"

"I just couldn't sleep, that's all."

"Oh."

Cassi raised an eyebrow at the boys' appearance. Both were dressed warmly and holding their brooms.

"What were you planning to do, jump off the roof on your brooms?"

James and Sirius looked at each other.

"Uhh…."

Cassi smacked her head with her hand.

"You were, weren't you? Why do I always have to get stuck with the dumb ones?"

James smirked.

"But Cass, you loooovvvvveeee us!"

Cassi rolled her eyes.

"Only sometimes, Jamie-boy."

James grinned at her.

"Well, you can stay up here and watch!"

Cassi looked at James with mistrust in her eyes.

"What are you going to do?"

"Well, I have to jump off the roof on my broom, then fly all the way around the lake three times, after having flown through it."

Cassi stared.

"James, that's just plain stupid!"

"But I have to!"

"Why?"

"Cause Peter bet that Lily wouldn't say yes when I asked her to go to Hogsmeade, and this is my punishment. Sirius is just here to make sure I do it."

Cassi shook her head.

"I better go with you, or you might kill yourself."

"Okay, but you'll have to ride with Sirius."

Cassi bit her lip, weighing the situation, her dislike for Sirius against her worry for James. Eventually, to worry won out, and she got onto the broom in front of Sirius.

"Ready, James?" he asked.

"You bet."

With an impish grin, James jumped off the roof, plummeting towards the ground. Sirius rolled his eyes. He took off much more smoothly, floating out towards the lake. He stayed high, but he didn't go very fast.

"Do you ever miss it?"

Cassi was startled by his whisper in her ear. The heat of his breath made her blush and realize how cold all her skin that wasn't in contact with Sirius was.

"You mean flying?"

Sirius nodded.

"Every day. But I can't go back to playing Quidditch. I can't see out of my left eye. I'd just be a liability. But yes, I do miss it. A lot."

"What do you miss the most?"

"The rush that comes right before you catch the Snitch, that feeling of defying gravity, the weightlessness, the power, the speed. All of it."

Sirius nodded.

"That's sad."

Cassi eyes were brimming with tears, and she swallowed hard and wiped them away.

"Cassi? Are you crying?"

She responded with a sob. Sirius wrapped his arms around her form behind, tucking his head into the gap between her neck and shoulder.

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

Cassi kept crying. She had stopped crying for the lost thrill of Quidditch, but for all the lost things. Her sister, her father, her freedom, her innocence. Mostly, though, she cried for her and Sirius, for the love she had for him, and the possibilities that were lost. She sobbed harder and harder. She hardly noticed Sirius gently landing them on the shore of the lake. Cassi sank to her knees, still sobbing. Sirius hugged her tightly. Maybe half an hour passed this way. Finally, Cassi looked up.

"Sirius?"

"Hmm?"

"Why are you being so nice to me?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Because, well, don't you hate me?"

Sirius looked surprised.

"No, not at all. I thought you hated me."

"I don't, I never did, not really. I was just so mad last year. I was…hurt."

Sirius bit his lip.

"I know. And, God, if I could go back and change it, I would. I went about it all wrong. I'm so, so sorry."

This brought Cassi a fresh wave of tears.

"Cass, I just didn't know what to do is all."

He pressed her against his chest. She mumbled incoherently into his shirt.

"What?"

Cassi looked up.

"Tell me who you're in love with. Please. I need to know."

Sirius sighed.

"I can't believe you haven't figured it out."

Cassi sighed.

"Everyone says that."

"I would have thought it was obvious. Cassi, I'm in love with you."


	24. Finally!

**Author's Note: So, this is gonna be longer than usual. Idk how many people read these, but I've got some things to say. First of all, i am honestly astonished at how long this has gotten. i expected it to be 25 chapters, and here it is at 24, and the end is NOT, i repeat NOT coming soon. we've actually got a ways to go. Secondly, there will be some action soon, and it won't be so sappy. Sorry about that, if it's too sappy. that's all gonna change in the next few chapters. i'm estimating there may be up to 15 more chapters, so lots more. Also, I'm going to try to finish this story soon, but I do have a bunch of other stories i want to update more, like Love Always, Rory, Love Always, Elle, and Love Always, Ellie. If you finish this story, those stories are all about the same universe as Love Always, Cassi. Thanks for reading this! **

Cassi stared at Sirius. Sirius stared at Cassi.

"Did you just say you loved me?" Cassi asked, breaking the silence.

"Uhh…yeah."

"Oh."

Cassi sat down rather abruptly. She stared at the grass, not seeing it. Her mind was flying a mile a minute back over the past six months. If she put everything in context with this new information, everything made sense. Sirius looking at her, the way they had argued, maybe even what Drea and Sirius had been fighting about that day. Everything clicked.

"Oh." She said again.

Sirius had been watching her this entre time, flipping between berating himself for saying anything, and feeling relieved that it was finally out in the open.

"Cassi?" he asked timidly.

She looked up. He was shocked to see a smile creeping over her face. he was even more shocked when she threw her arms around him and kissed full on the mouth. He fell over backwards with surprise and the sudden weight of Cassi. His head was spinning as he breathed her scent, and the way she tasted, familiar, yet intoxicating.

Cassi was completely lost in the way Sirius' mouth felt against hers. She hadn't kissed him in what seemed like forever. She hadn't realized until that very instant that she missed it. She missed the way he tasted, peppermint and chocolate and excitement. She sighed before pulling away slightly. She snuggled her head into the crook of his neck and smiled.

"I love you too, Siri."

Sirius smiled, dazed. He was completely in shock, but at the same time, so happy he could hardly stand it.

Lily was sitting on her bed, catching up on her reading, when Cassi burst into the room. Lily looked up, startled, her long red hair glowing in the light from her bed lamp. Cassi looked around the room, trying to hold herself in, before she finally made eye contact with Lily. All the other girls were asleep. Cassi took a deep breath and screamed at the top of her lungs.

Downstairs in the common room, James looked up at the girl's dorm as he walked through the portrait hole.

"What's all that noise?" he asked Sirius, who was sitting on the couch. Sirius just smiled.

"It kind of sounded like Cassi, but I don't know what would make her scream like that. As a matter of fact, I thought you both were still supposed to be proving that I could do-"

"James." Sirius cut him off.

James raised his eyebrows.

"You'll never guess what happened."

Up in the girl's dorm, four girls were startled out of sleep. Marlzy was the first to sit up, eyes wide.

"Where's the Death Eater? I'll pulverize him!"

Cassi laughed.

"Relax, Marlz, there's no Death Eaters in here."

Alice made a face.

"I'm pretty sure that's the only reason you should be screaming like that."

Cassi shook her head.

"It isn't."

Dorcas stuck her head above her pillow.

"Then what is?"

Cassi smiled. Lily raised an eyebrow.

"Cassi, what'd you do?"

Cassi smiled.

"I didn't do anything."

Mary snorted.

"Like we believe that."

Cassi grinned even wider and sunk down onto Lily's bed.

"Fine. You want to know what happened?"

Lily rolled her eyes.

"Of course we do, you idiot!"

Cassi grinned.

"Well, here goes."

Remus came thumping downstairs, Peter close at his heels.

"What was that screaming?" he asked.

Sirius smiled.

"That would be Cassi's way of expressing extreme happiness, I believe."

Peter raised an eyebrow.

"Why would she be that happy?"

"And," Remus added, "why would you know what was making her happy?"

Sirius smirked.

"Did I ever say that?"

Remus made a face.

"It was implied."

"So?" James asked.

Sirius leaned back and smirked.

"Well, here it is."

Cassi grinned at the other girls.

"You know Sirius Black?"

Every girl in the room rolled her eyes, and Lily said, "Duh."

Cassi grinned so large she could have sworn her mouth would rip.

"He's in love with me."

Lily stood up and walked to a wall that she promptly started hitting her head against.

Marlene looked at Cassi.

"You woke up to tell us THAT?"

Cassi shook her head.

"No, I woke you up to tell you that I love him too and we're going out now."

Every single girl in the room froze and looked at Cassi.

"Does this mean I'll have to hang out with James?" Lily asked.

That was what broke the dams. Every girl ran, screaming, and jumped on Cassi.

The Marauders in the common room looked up at the ceiling where the screaming of girls could be heard.

"Does this have anything to do what you were about to tell us, Sirius?"

Sirius smirked.

"You got it."

James groaned.

"Just get on with it already!"

Sirius smiled wider.

"You know how I'm in love with Cassi?"

James rolled his eyes.

"No shit."

"Well, long story short, its mutual."

The three boys stared at Sirius with open mouths.

"Wow," said Remus, "there may yet be hope for James if Sirius can get the girl."

Sirius hit Remus with a pillow. Peter seemed dumbfounded. James was grinning.

"Are you telling me that the great Sirius Black is going steady?"

Sirius grinned.

"Yup. And that, my friends, is the cause of all the screaming."

Peter shook his head. He passed three Galleons to Remus, who smirked.

'Told you so, Wormy."

Sirius narrowed his eyes.

"Were you betting on me?"

Remus shrugged.

"At least I was betting for you!"

Sirius turned his gaze to Peter, who gave a sheepish grin.

"AHHH!"

Sirius jumped on Peter and began tickling him furiously. Peter yelped before screaming for help. There was a pounding on the stairs, and five girls appeared on the stairs. In the front was a radiant Cassi. Her long gold hair was mussed, and her white nightgown gave her the air of a princess.

"Siri." She called.

Sirius looked up and swallowed. She was beautiful, and he was reminded again of why he loved her so much. The curl of shell pink lips, the dream blue eyes, the gold curls shimmering in the firelight, and the body he knew existed beneath the white nightgown she wore. He smiled.

Getting up, he leaped over the couch, and crossed the room in a few steps. He grabbed her around the waist, spun her around before finally dipping her and kissing her. Cassi leaned back and giggled before kissing him again.

"I love you, Sirius." She whispered, leaning her forehead against his.

In the background, James was staring at Lily. She was glaring at him.

"Don't even think about it, Potter." She spat.

James sighed. The hate from Lily was so different from the love that Cassi showed Sirius. He was jealous.

Sirius and Cassi were blissfully unaware of their surroundings until McGonagall stormed into the room.

"What is the meaning of this? Get to bed!"

The students obeyed.

She did notice, however, the way Sirius and Cassi held hands until they got to the door of the girl's dorm, the sweet way they said goodnight, and the glances that Sirius gave the staircase as she ascended.

McGonagall hid a smile. She did always love young love.


	25. The Roof Again and Arguments

**Author's Note: Okay, this chapter is a little longer than normal, but don't get used to it!**

Cassi sat in class. Bored was not the right word for what she was feeling at the moment. They had the misfortune of having this class with the Ravenclaws, which meant Alice was practically drooling over Frank Longbottom, and Marlene was too busy flirting with Benjy Fenwick to actually pay attention in class. It was Ancient Runes 1. Lily and Dorcas were already in Ancient Runes 2, and the Marauders, except for Remus, hadn't even tried the class.

Cassi stared out the window, watching the lake. She sat up as three animals ran across the edge of the Forbidden Forest, before disappearing into the trees. She bit her lip. She wasn't good at Care of Magical Creatures for nothing. She recognized the animals as a large dog, a stag, and the small blur on the stag's back as a rodent, maybe a mouse or a rat.

Turning back to the classroom, she thought about the time in fifth year she had seen the same animals. With a start she realized that it must be the infamous, mysterious pranksters, the Marauders. No one was sure what House they were in, but they were famous throughout Hogwarts for their pranks. Padfoot, Prongs, Moony, and Wormtail. Cassi had her suspicions, of course, everyone did, but no one could prove a thing.

The bell rand, signaling it was time to go to dinner. It was evening, and the sun was setting. Filing with the rest of her class to the Great Hall, she thought about Sirius again. It had been a month since he had told her that he loved her, and she had realized she loved him. She felt like it had been forever, that they'd always been like this, that all that hate and anger and sadness had never existed. She knew it wasn't true, but she felt like it was.

"Cass?" Lily spoke up.

"Hm?" Cassi was snapped out of her reverie.

"Have you seen James?"

Cassi stared at the red head.

"Did you just say what I thought you just said, Lils?"

Lily blushed angrily.

"We were assigned to do a project in Transfiguration, remember?"

Cassi thought back briefly to the week before, when McGonagall had assigned the project. She had been happy to be assigned with Sirius, but she faintly remembered laughing at Lily when she was assigned to be partners with James.

"Oh yeah…. I remember! That was funny!"

A smile broke across her face. Lily glared.

"It is not! Now I have to find him, because we need to go to the library!"

Cassi shook her head.

"Haven't seen him."

Lily sighed, blowing her bangs up.

"Well, have you seen Peter, Remus, or Sirius?"

Cassi thought.

"No, actually, I haven't. But I don't have class with them. So I don't know."

Lily groaned and stalked off to find James herself.

Cassi walked to her favorite seat. Normally, James, Peter, and Remus surrounded her and Sirius, but today, the four were nowhere in sight. With a thump, she sat down and began putting food on her plate.

It was getting late, and dinner was over. It was dark outside, and moon was a thin crescent. Cassi was worried, because she hadn't seen Sirius all night. She thought back to Drea's argument with him, which left her with one choice. To go ask Drea herself. Making up her mind, she gritted her teeth and followed the retreating Slytherins down the passage to their common room.

"Drea." The group that was the last stopped. Drea turned, arm in arm with Regulus, framed by Bellatrix and Narcissa, Rodolphus, and others. The Death Eaters in training, she and Sirius used to joke. She felt that acutely here in the dark passage, facing the worst of the Slytherins. Drea gave her a half smile, and Regulus a nod. In contrast, Bella gave a snarl and Narcissa a narrow eyed glare.

"Drea, I need to talk to you and Regulus."

Drea nodded.

"Just a moment, Narcissa."

The imperious blonde nodded regally. Drea walked up the hallway towards her sister. Regulus trailed behind her. Cassi turned and walked a little ways down the corridor so they couldn't be heard easily.

"Drea, Reg, have either of you seen Sirius?"

Drea dropped her head, and Regulus stiffened. He frowned.

"I haven't seen him, sister."

"Nor I, I assure you."

Cassi sighed.

"I thought you might've, I can't find him, and I'm worried."

"So you accused us because we're Slytherins?" Regulus snapped.

Cassi was taken aback. Regulus was usually level-headed and cool.

"Of course not," she said, "I just thought you might have seen him!"

"I don't associate with bloodtraitors. You of all people should know that, Sinclaire."

He put an arm around Drea and steered her away. She glanced back over her shoulder, eyes full of sadness and apology, at her sister. Cassi smiled sadly back.

Walking up to her common room, she passed the Entrance Hall. It was empty. Halfway up the stairs, she turned around, alerted by some noise. She saw three figures step out of the shadows and greet a fourth in low voices. The four hadn't seen her, so she crept back down the stairs and slipped into the shadows.

Edging her way around the wall, she came nearer and nearer behind them.

"Well, another run complete. I'm pretty sure that the Forbidden Forest won't be that bad if we go as the-"

"Shh!" the speaker was cut off.

Cassi backed up against the wall in horror. The voice had James, and the one who had cut him off was Remus. She knew, then, that the tallest figure could only be Sirius. She backed further into the shadows.

"Awh, Moony, it was nothing. You're hearing things." That was Sirius.

"No, Pads, I wasn't. Someone's here, someone right over there." He pointed towards Cassi. She couldn't help wondering how he had known where she was. She had been very quiet.

"Well, let's see." James started to walk towards her.

"James?" she asked before she could stop herself.

James reeled back.

"Cassi? Is that you?"

"Yes."

"Where you eavesdropping- CASSI?"

Cassi had taken off running. She hurtled up the white marble stairs. James started to go after her, but Sirius stopped him with an arm across the chest.

"I'll do it." He whispered.

He took off running after Cassi.

Cassi had taken refuge on the roof. It was her special place, the place very few people knew about. She knew that Sirius knew about it, and James, but she half wished they'd follow her so she could get rid of this anger that was coursing through her. She couldn't understand, but she felt an overwhelming sense of betrayal from Sirius. He had kept secrets, when she hadn't kept any.

She looked down at the bracelet she had just recently started wearing again. She was tempted to rip it off her wrist, but something stopped her. Instead, she sank against the roof and cried.

Sirius heard her crying, and that was how he found her, crouching on the roof, one hand clenched around the bracelet he had given her all those years ago. He approached carefully, as one might approach a wild lion.

"Cassi?" he asked tentatively.

Her head shot up.

"What do you want?"

"I wanted to make sure you were okay."

"I'm perfectly fine, no thanks to you, bastard."

"What did I do?"

"Sirius, do you have any idea how worried I was about you?"

She lifted her head, and let her tears sparkle across her cheeks. Sirius looked down.

"I didn't even think you'd notice."

"Of course I would notice!" Cassi was outraged. "How couldn't I? You would've noticed if I was gone for an entire evening! Or at least I thought you would've."

Sirius looked down.

"I guess I didn't think that out so well, huh?"

Cassi looked up at him, furious.

"NO SHIT, SHERLOCK!" she screamed at the top of her lungs. She stood up.

"I was worried about you, so worried I asked the bloody SLYTHERINS about you! I was alone with a bunch of Slytherins like BELLA for you, and you were off galivantining in the FORRBIDDEN EFFING FOREST!"

Sirius shrunk from her yells.

"Why were you so worried, Cass?"

"Why?" Tear rolled freely down her cheeks now. "Because I love you, you bastard."

With that, she stalked off, leaving a confused and worried Sirius, standing alone on the roof.


	26. Decisions and Making Up

Cassi refused to talk to Sirius for a whole week. No matter what anyone said to her about how ridiculous she was being, she wouldn't speak to him. Sirius was getting desperate by the time Sunday came.

"James."

James looked up for possibly the fiftieth time.

"What, Sirius?"

"Never mind."

Another minute passed.

"James?"

James looked up again.

"_What,_ Sirius?"

Sirius shook his head.

"Never mind."

But James was done. He stood up.

"No, Sirius, not never mind. Tell me why you've been disturbing me for the past hour."

Sirius looked down, not sure how his friend would react to what he was about to say.

"James, I want to tell Cassi."

James raised his eyebrows.

"Tell her what, exactly?"

Sirius swallowed nervously.

"About being an Animagus. And a Marauder."

James stared at his best friend.

"Sirius, you do realize what that would mean? That would mean she would know about ALL of us. Is that what you want?"

Sirius nodded.

"WHAT? Where's your loyalty here? You would honestly pick selling us out to get a girl back?"

Sirius sighed.

"But she's not just any girl, James. You should know that. I honestly think I'm in love with her. No, I know that I am. And I'm not going to loose that over this. I'm not going to loose it over anything. Thanks, James."

With that, Sirius stood and walked out of the room, leaving a confused and silent James behind him.

Sirius found Cassi just outside the library.

"Cassi."

She looked up, face darkening, then started walking away.

"No, Cass. You're listening to me."

Sirius caught her arm. She spun around.

"What?" she hissed.

Sirius narrowed his eyes.

"You are going to listen to me. Right now."

Cassi turned her head. Sirius grabbed her shoulders.

"Cass, what I'm about to tell you is my deep, dark secret. You can't tell anyone."

Cassi looked up, interested.

"Go on."

Sirius licked his lips.

"Well, Cass, you know the Marauders?"

Cassi rolled her eyes.

"Of course I do."

"Well, that's me. I'm Padfoot."

Cassi stared, mouth slightly open.

"There's more. The code names, well, there's a reason that they are the way they are. I'm Padfoot because, well, Cass, I'm an Animagus."

Cassi's eyes got even wider.

"You're not serious."

Sirius gave her a half smile.

"Well, actually,-"

"Don't. you honestly expect me to believe that that is the reason you're gone so much of the time? If that's true, who are the other Marauders?"

Sirius rolled his eyes.

"I'm sure you can guess."

"James, Peter, and Remus?"

Sirius nodded.

"Well, this is a lot to take in."

Sirius grinned.

"Close your eyes, Cass."

She gave him a strange look, but did what he asked. It was quiet for a moment, then Cassi opened her eyes. Sirius was nowhere in sight. She planted her hands on her hips. She was just about to tell him how not funny it was, when she was barreled over by a large dog. The dog started licking her face, and Cassi couldn't help herself. She started laughing.

"Well, Sirius, you do make a cute dog."

The two were sitting, backs against the wall. Sirius woofed in reply, then grinned, tongue lolling out. Cassi smiled, and ran her hands through the fur on the dog's back. She let out a half laugh.

"Well, Siri, this explains a lot."

Sirius smiled inside at his nickname, because it undoubtedly meant he was back in her good books.

"FOR THE LAST TIME, NO, POTTER, I WILL NOT GO OUT WITH YOU. YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE YOU ARE AN ARROGANT, BULLYING PIG, AND I HATE YOU."

With that, Lily Evans stormed off, leaving a dejected James in her wake. Cassi came over and slung an arm around him.

"I feel sorry for you, Jamie. She really is sweet. Normally."

James made a face.

'Not helping. Just because you are my best friend's girlfriend doesn't mean you can tease me!"

Cassi grinned.

"Yes, but being your friend means I can!"

James growled, then grabbed her around the waist and threw her onto the couch. She landed next to a surprised Remus, who promptly started laughing. Peter, who had just come in from another "study date" with Jade Huxley, started laughing at the scene too.

Sirius descended the stairs from the boy's dormitory.

"Cass, can I talk to you?"

Her head shot up over the couch back.

"Of course, Siri."

"Ah, I see you made up." Remus commented.

"Of course they did, Rem, they're the perfect couple, HOW could they not when they're so perfect?"

The two left Remus to listen to a ranting James and ran up the stairs. They made it to the sixth year dorm, and Sirius shut the door. He started circling Cassi where she stood.

"Did you actually have to talk to me?"

"No" he whispered, stopping directly in front of her. She reached up and kissed him. Even after months of dating, she couldn't get over the way his lips felt against hers. And the taste. She hoped she's never get used to this. It was like a drug. she could feel him pushing her towards his bed. She went with it.

Peter was sulking at dinner. He glared at his potatoes. James looked up.

"What's the matter, Pete?"

Peter winced as Sirius turned around.

"Nothing."

Sirius started laughing. Cassi was looking down and blushing. Lily poked her head around Cassi, and Remus looked up from his book.

"What's the deal?" asked James.

Sirius gave his bark-like laugh.

"You wouldn't be eating either if you'd walked in on Sirius and Cassi." Peter mumbled.

The entire section of the table burst into laughter.


	27. Mornings and Blackmail

Sirius played with one of her golden curls. Cassi smiled back at him. The half-light that filtered into the room from the slit in the curtains on his bed highlighted the gold of her hair. He ran an impatient hand down her side, but she slapped his hand away as he tried to slip his hand under her shirt. She rolled over. It was Saturday, and in about an hour, everyone would be waking up for Quidditch practice. Right now, however, was just about Sirius and Cassi. Cassi stifled a giggle as Sirius tickled her foot with his own. She pulled herself against him and started kissing him again. This time, she didn't try to stop him as his hands slipped up her shirt.

"No."

Her words were firm, her intent clear.

"Shit, Cass. Why not?"

Cassi's jaw came up.

"I'm not ready to do this with you."

Sirius gave a groan and rolled off his girlfriend. She turned to face him, bringing the sheets up to cover her shoulders. She rested her head against his bare chest, listening to his heartbeat.

"Cassi."

"Hmm?"

"Why won't you let us…"

Cassi sighed.

"Sirius, it's a girl thing. I just, I want it to be right. The first time we did it, it was all wrong. God, Siri, that hurt. It was hell. I can't have it be like that again."

Sirius cupped her cheek in his hand.

"You honestly think I would do that to you? That I would leave you all alone again? Cassi, everything's different now. I would never do that, I love you."

"And I love you, Siri. That's why this had got to be perfect."

She scooted out of bed, locating her clothes as she went.

Standing outside the curtains, both fully dressed, she smiled.

"See you after Quidditch?" she asked.

Sirius just rolled his eyes and kissed her forehead. She took that as a yes.

Cassi spent the next few hours of her life in the library. She winced as she heard the giggles from the table behind her. Her once study partners, turned lovebirds, were flirting over their homework. Or rather, Jade Huxley was flirting with Peter, and he was blushing. She almost felt bad for the cute blonde, but then remembered that, despite his naïveté and round face, he was, in fact, a 16-year-old boy, and they did not tend to take very kindly to you interrupting a girl who was flirting with them.

She turned back to her homework. The end of the year would be coming soon, all it would take was just getting past the final exams till she was home with Drea and her mother. She winced at the thought. She sincerely prayed that James would invite her to stay with him, because otherwise she might just die of boredom.

Her mother was in the throes of planning Drea's engagement party. Regulus had asked her almost a year ago, but they were waiting to announce it until she turned 16, at the end of May. Cassi was not looking forward to it, to say the least. There would be lots of upperclass pureblood matriarchs in pastel colors, preening their daughters and gossiping about Drea and Regulus. There would be lots of good food, but a restriction on the amount a pureblooded young lady would be allowed to eat. There would be soppy dances and no one to dance with.

Cassi sighed as she thought of this. She blinked sleepily and yawned. She really hadn't gotten that much sleep.

She sat up with a start when her name was whispered. She looked up into the clear blue eyes of her sister.

"What, Drea?"

Drea smiled.

"I was asked to give you this."

She stuck a folded piece of paper in front of her nose.

"Who asked you, Drea?"

Drea grimaced.

"No one special. Just, be careful, Cass."

With that warning, her sister marched off.

Cassi shrugged, opening the paper. She gasped and felt her blood go cold. There, in front of her, moving in all too precise detail, was a picture of her and Sirius kissing. Not just kissing, but making out, going at it. A scrap of parchment had fluttered out of the fold when Cassi had unfolded it. She picked it up now, and read the unfamiliar handwriting.

_ Won't Mother Dearest be surprised by this lack of propriety? _

Cassi felt herself go numb. Whoever it was who had this picture was holding it above her head, threatening to show her mother. And if her mother found out she was involved with a blood traitor, only disappointment and quite possibly disownment would follow. She would be outlawed from pureblood society, not that she really minded, but she would be forbidden to talk to Drea ever again. Maybe it was her sisterly instinct, but she had wanted to see Drea married. She gritted her teeth and ran to the Quidditch pitch.

Sirius was just slamming a Bludger away from Nat Marson when he heard James calling.

"CASSI? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

Sirius looked down and sure enough, there was Cassi. He dropped out of the sky so fast she screamed. He landed in front of her. He saw her tears, and wondered what was wrong.

"Cass, what's the matter?" he asked, stepping forward to hug her.

"Siri, I think I'm in real trouble."

"What? How?"

"Look."

She shoved the picture in his face.

"Yes, Cass, we snogged. What's the big deal?"

She pulled back and looked up into his eyes. Her cheeks were wet with tears.

"The big deal isn't that we snogged, its that there's a picture of us doing it, and someone threatening to send it to my mother. It may have already been sent."

Sirius frowned.

"But that would mean…."

"Disownment."

"Ah, shit, Cass. Your mother wouldn't disown you!"

"Yes she would! She's trying to be my father, trying to impress my uncle! THIS IS A MAJOR PROBLEM!"

"Uh," said James, "don't mean to interrupt, but couldn't you just come stay with me this summer, I mean, you've only got one more, right? Then you're home free."

Sirius nodded.

"You could stay at Jamesies with me."

Cassi shook her head, burying it in Sirius' shirt.

'This isn't about me, it's about Drea. What will she do without me?"

Sirius loked, well, serious, for once.

"The same thing my brother has been doing. Getting by. We're all just trying to survive. Your sister and my brother, well, they have each other. They'll both be fine."

Cassi nodded.

"I guess you're right. James, would it really be okay if I stayed with you?"

"Hell yeah!" came the answer.

"Then I guess it's settled."

"WOOOH!" shouted James. "FRIENDS FOR THE SUMMERTIME!"


	28. Preparations and Sisterly Bonding

**Author's Note: This chapter talks a lot about pureblood etiquette, which i totally made up. I don't know if its accurate, but I don't think it's ever mentioned in the books.**

Summertime had come quickly that year. It had stolen in, taking what little time Cassi had left before judgment. Drea had confirmed that their mother had gotten the picture. Cassi didn't know what was going to happen when she got home, but it was going to be bad.

"Bye, guys."

Cassi was standing on the platform with Remus, Peter, James, and Lily. For once, James and Lily weren't fighting.

"Come over to my place any time, Cass." This was from James. "We'll be expecting you."

Cassi nodded. She began walking forward, when she was practically jumped by Sirius.

"Did you think you were leaving without saying goodbye, Cass?"

"Never, Siri."

He hugged her, and kissed her, and sent her off to her doom with nothing more then a few words of comfort. It was all he could do.

Cassi carefully made her way to the brick wall where she saw Reg and Drea standing, waiting for her.

"Mother's going to meet us at home, Cassi."

Cassi nodded.

"Regulus." She said.

"Cassi."

"Are you looking forward to the engagement party?"

"Are you kidding?"

Cassi raised an eyebrow and Regulus smirked. Cassi smiled. She had forgotten how much she liked Reg. Drea hit her fiancé on the shoulder.

"Oh, shut it, Reg. we both know no one is actually going to enjoy this, except maybe your aunt."

Reg shuddered.

"Oh, God."

The trio split into laughter.

Cassi stood before the door to her own house. She couldn't believe she was afraid to enter the place she had grown up in, her home. Drea and Regulus walked forward, Reg carrying Drea's bag like the gentleman he was.

"You coming, Cass?" Drea asked.

Cassi nodded.

"Just give me a minute."

"Whatever you want, Cass."

Drea followed her fiancé into the house. Cassi sighed. She shivered as a cloud passed over the sun. She watched the courtyard in front of the row house. The sun hit the cobblestones, and it reminded her of her and Sirius' last conversation.

"_The sun's so bright, isn't it, Siri?"_

_He nodded._

"_It makes your hair almost copper." She continued._

_He nodded. Cassi sighed._

"_What's on your mind, Sirius?"_

"_Walk with me."_

_They walked over the hilly grounds, heading down to the shore of the lake. Sirius had his arm over her shoulder. _

"_Cassi, would it be weird if I asked you, to, well…."_

"_To do what?"_

"_To move in with me after Hogwarts?"_

_Cassi was surprised._

"_My Uncle Alphard left me a house, a loft, really, and a lot of money, it would be just right for two people. I was thinking we could live there, and its in London, so you wouldn't be far away-"_

"_Sirius."_

_He looked at her, gray eyes pleading._

"_Sirius, I will make that decision when I get to it. I can't say now what I'll feel this time next year."_

_He nodded, sighing._

"_Point taken. I just thought I might as well ask."_

Cassi sighed at the memory. She wasn't sure if she should have just accepted, and gone with him, and avoided this whole mess with her mother. She was seventeen, after all. She was of age, and she didn't have to return to her home. But she had wanted to. She wanted to see Drea married. That meant two more years of keeping it together with her mother. With a deep breath, she entered the house.

Her mother didn't seem to have gotten any wind of the scandal that was brewing. In most houses, kissing a boy wasn't a big deal. But she was a pureblood, and that meant old fashioned courting. They were dating, yes, but Sirius hadn't officially asked permission from the head of the household, now her uncle, to court her. That meant, technically, no kissing.

Almost a week had passed since she had gotten to her house, and Cassi was beginning to wonder if the engagement party was ever going to get here. It was in three days, and she knew those days would be a flurry of last minute planning, tasting, fittings, and decorating. The party would be held in the ballroom of the old Sinclaire Manor, fifty miles outside London. They lived in this house only because it was convenient.

Drea and her entourage would Floo over the day before. The entourage would have a day of elegant society before the party. Or, that was how it was traditionally. Cassi was dreading it, because Drea's entourage meant the Black sisters. Narcissa and Bellatrix were both members of the entourage, with Cassi and Natalie Rosier. Cassi was, needless to say, not looking forward to two days in the girls' presence. She was just glad that there was no such thing for the wedding.

"What do you think?"

Drea's voice snapped her back to reality. Cassi contemplated the dress in front of her. It was a light pink, with a white satin sash, and matching gloves.

"For the ball?"

Drea nodded.

"Sure. But I also liked that one."

Cassi pointed to another dress, also pink. Pink was Drea's chosen color. Every pureblood lady chose a color that she always wore, like red, Bellatrix's choice, or dark blue, Cassi's. Drea had worn light pink since her childhood.

Cassi rubbed her eyes. It was getting late. Her own fitting would take place tomorrow, after they were certain Drea's dress was perfect. She could feel the tension and anticipation in the air, the smell of lemon cleaners, and the sound of maid's voices. There would be a small dinner here tomorrow for the four members of the entourage. Drea would need, in all, five new dresses for her events surrounding the engagment party.

"Cassi, are you even paying attention?"

"Not really."

"Mind wandering to certain young men with dark hair and gray eyes and a big-"

"DREA!"

"Heart! I was going to say heart!"

Cassi lept up and began tickling her sister as she had when they were younger. Drea doubled up with laughter, screaming for her to stop when she managed breath. Cassi smiled and let her go.

"I take it back, Cass! Even if it is true…"

Cassi raised an eyebrow and made to tickle her sister again, but she had darted behind a curtain. She stuck her tongue out, and Cassi laughed.

"You never did grow up, did you, Alexie?" Cassi laughed, using the code name they had made up when they were young.

"Never did, Pia!" Drea shot back.

Both sisters shared a look before falling over laughing.


	29. Beginnings and Thoughts

**Author's Note: So, i posted pictures on my profile of how i imagine characters from the story, as well as other stories of mine. give me suggestions of what you think the characters look like!**

Cassi Sinclaire was not happy. It was ten am, and she was standing in front of a mirror, tugging at the hem of her blue dress. It was lacy, and frilly, and low cut, and not Cassi's idea of a pretty dress. It reminded her of a petit four. Drea sighed as she watched her sister make faces at herself in the mirror. Tomorrow was the beginning of her engagement affair, as she was beginning to feel it was. The girls she had decided to be in her entourage would be arriving at noon.

The day passed in tense silence for all members of the party. Drea and Natalie Rosier spent most of their time giggling together on the sofa while Bellatrix and Narcissa muttered in a corner, occasionally sending Cassi nasty looks. Cassi rolled her eyes and looked back to the window. The rolling grounds of Sinclaire Mansion were dotted with statues and topiary bushes. Cassi stood.

"I'm going for a walk."

"I'll join you."

This was from Narcissa. Cassi nodded politely, seething inside.

The pair strolled across the grounds, watching the dying light of the sun fade from the trees. They made small talk about the engagement party the day after tomorrow. Cassi was surprised to find that Narcissa was not looking forward to the party. She insisted that she would rather not have a large ball, thinking a private party would have suited better.

"Cassi, something has come to my attention recently."

Cassi stopped and faced Narcissa.

"What?"

"Bellatrix tells me that you are spending rather a lot of time with my cousin Sirius. I would only like to warn you that Sirius is a fickle soul. Be careful, dear. I would hate to see it end badly."

"I know you don't like him, but don't you think I have a better understanding of him than you do?"

"Cassi, I've known Sirius since the day he was born. I warn you, my aunt will make absolutely sure that you are cast out of pureblood society, should it come to her attention that you were, well, more then friends with her son."

"That's a risk I am prepared to take."

"Very well."

Narcissa gave her a sad smile, then turned to walk back to the house. Cassi continued on her path towards the secret pool she knew was in these woods. She had lived here as a very young child, before her father had a job at the Ministry and her mother moved them all to London. Back before she had ever met Sirius, before she had ever even heard of the Black Sisters. Back when she and Drea had spent all day running the grounds. Now, here she was, Drea was to be married, and she was to be cast out of the only family she'd ever known.

The pool lay under the shade of the trees that surrounded it. The soft green grass bent under her high heeled shoe. She took off her shoes, and moved to the edge of the water. She abruptly sat down on a rock at the water's edge. She dabbled her feet in the cold water. She sighed.

She knew she was in love with Sirius, but she was having a hard time letting go of her society. She hated it, yes, but it was always beneficial to be considered a true pureblood, even as a Gryffindor. She was never made fun of, never threatened, except occasionally by Bellatrix. It was no contest, really, if the choice had to be made between her family and Sirius. He was closer to her than her family had ever been. She only wished it didn't have to be that way, that she could have both. She knew she couldn't, but she wished she could

. She closed her eyes and pictured her life as it should have been. Her children, running around Sinclaire Mansion as she and Drea had, dark haired children with mysterious gray eyes. Children that could grow up in their own time, instead of how society required them to. And Sirius, undoubtedly as her husband. She pondered that.

She had never felt anything for anyone else besides Sirius, never really considered anyone else. Even from the time she was a child, Sirius had held her spellbound. She knew she'd always been in love with him, since before she knew what it was to love. She loved the fact he had the strength to do what she couldn't, and to be proud of himself for it. She really did love him. She knew, when he asked her this coming year to live with him, to marry him, she would say yes.

She shuddered slightly in the quiet night. She opened her eyes, surprised at the turn her thoughts had taken.

"Cassi."

She whipped her head around. Drea stood behind her, half concealed by the trees' shadows.

"I'd forgotten this was here. When Narcissa came back alone, I went out to make sure she hadn't killed you."

"Drea, how did you know you were in love with Regulus?"

Drea looked surprised for an instant, then smiled.

"I've always known. Since I first saw him. He was the only one for me, and I could feel it, even at eight. I guess I never really decided I was in love, it just was there when I needed it. He was always there for me, and so kind and sweet, and funny, and I knew I had to be with him. I guess that's how I knew. The fact I could never let him go made it obvious to me. Are you having doubts?"

"No, I just was wondering if love was the same for everyone else as it is to me."

"And is it?"

"Not at all."

That night passed in a flurry of food, flouncy dresses, toasts, and laughter. Natalie Rosier turned out to be a sweet girl, if a little vapid. She was nice to all. Narcissa was even kind to Cassi that night, and Bellatrix wasn't horrible. It was better then she'd been led to expect, so Cassi didn't really mind the party as much as she had thought she would. The true judgment would come the next day with the garden lunch and the ball.


	30. Dresses and the Surprise

**Author's Note: Sorry there was such a gap, i was on vacation. but here's the next chapter. funny, i always pictured this story being over at 30 chapters, and i'm just over halfway done...oops. Anyways, the dresses that i described in the chapter can be found on my profile. the pictures, i mean. thanks everyone who reviewed!**

Cassi stood at the top of the stairs. Beneath her, the party was in full swing. It was half past eight. She took a deep breath. Her long dress ruffled as she adjusted the fitted bodice. The sleeves slipped a little farther down her shoulders, but she didn't really care. The gorgeous gown was, to her, a waste. She wasn't trying to attract anyone, and was certain the night was going to be horribly boring.

"Anxious, are we?"

Bellatrix's voice sounded from behind her.

"Not in the slightest."

She turned to face Bellatrix. The dark haired girl wore a red dress as always, but Cassi had to cough to hide her surprise. Bellatrix had always been forward, but this was a little much. The diving neckline of her dress, fitted to her hips, was barely crossed by a series of puckered scraps of cloth. The sequins glittered menacingly as Bellatrix swept closer.

"I'd be very careful tonight if I were you, Cassieopia, wouldn't want your darling mother to get the wrong idea, now would you?" she hissed.

"No, that wouldn't do." Cassi replied regally, just barely keeping calm. She stormed away to find her sister.

Drea stood before a mirror in her bedroom. She bit her lip as she turned to the side to see her dress from the side. The pink confection was quite flattering, she decided. She was just about to enter when the door flew open, revealing Cassi. Her sister's dark blue dress was nothing like her own. Drea's was strapless, fitted to the hip, before flowing out in a burst of tulle and embroidery. Cassi's was off the shoulder, the bodice covered in velvet patterns of flowers. It hit her natural waist before floating out and down to her feet, the black tulle adding the perfect accent. It took Drea a moment to register the look on her sister's face, concerned as she was about her dress.

"I can't stand her."

Drea was startled.

"Who?"

"Bellabitch."

"Don't call her that!"

"Its true. She's the one."

"The one for what?"

"She's the one who's got that picture."

"Cass, that makes no sense."

"It makes perfect sense! She's cruel enough to do it, too!"

"Cassi, we have to go soon!"

"Fine, we'll discuss this later.

"Sure."

Drea rolled her eyes and floated out of her room. Cassi stomped out after her.

The room seemed to glimmer in the subtle light from the crystal chandelier, illuminating ice sculptures and trays of beautifully arranged food, and women and men in their finest. It was quite the party. Everyone who was anyone was there. Cassi caught sight of a crowd of Slytherins and slipped away to the garden.

She had been sitting there for the past half hour, staring into the night, unwilling to go back inside.

"What, is so fair a flower blooming so alone?"

Cassi rolled her eyes at the dark haired boy standing just out of the light.

"Reg, go work your charms on Drea."

"I'm not Regulus."

Cassi started up. The voice, the over the top charm, the dark hair, it all fit.

"It can't be."

The boy had moved to stand behind her, and now he leaned down to whisper in her ear.

"Oh, but it is."

"Sirius?"

The boy gave a low, barking laugh.

"Who else?"

A black rose dropped into her lap. The thorns had been removed, as per custom, but it was a beautiful specimen.

"Sirius."

"Yes?"

"Walk with me."

Cassi stood, her long dress sweeping across the flat stones of the patio. Sirius' black dress robes billowed out behind them as they walked towards the maze.

"Catch me if you can," Cassi whispered. With that she took off.

Laughter rang from the maze. It reached Drea where she stood on the balcony. Regulus came up behind her.

"Was I right in letting him in?" he asked.

"Oh, Reg. It was perfect."

"I'm glad. I did it for you."

Drea smiled and took her fiancé's hand. He pulled her down the steps into the topiary garden. Drea laughed as she skipped down the steps.

Bellatrix made a face as she watched Drea and Regulus slip away.

"Trixie, I brought drinks."

Bellatrix smiled at her boyfriend, Rodolphus.

"Thanks, Rod."

"Trixie, what's on your mind?"

"Well, don't you think its strange, that Drea got engaged before her older sister?"

"Trix, you and I both know why that is."

"But does Mrs Sinclaire?"

Sirius finally caught her in the center of the maze. He swept her up and spun her around. She giggled. He pulled her into a kiss. When they broke apart, Sirius realized they could hear the music from the party, floating down to the garden.

"M'Lady, may I have this dance?"

"Of course you may."

With a little laugh, she stepped into Sirius' arms. He placed one hand on her waist and took her hand in his other one. She placed a delicate hand on his shoulder. They floated, the way they'd always been taught. Slowly, as the music got slower, they got closer and closer together, until they were pressed against each other. Cassi rested her head on his shoulder.

"Sirius, I've been thinking."

"Ooh, dangerous."

"Shut up, I'm trying to be serious!"

"But I'm Sirius!"

Cassi pulled back and gave him a look. He smiled impishly in return. She leaned her head back against his chest.

"I was thinking about what you said to me before school ended."

"Oh."

"And I want to."

"What?"

Sirius pulled away from her, holding her shoulders, staring straight at her.

"I want to move in with you after school, Siri. It finally came to me, that I love you."

"You just now realized this?"

"Well, no, but I realized that I'm never going to love anyone else the way I love you."

"So you mean it?"

"I do."

"That's fantastic! Oh, God, Cass, can't you just picture it?"

And she could. Waking up in the morning next to Sirius, not having to sneak away before his friends woke up. Making coffee for him. Flooing to work with a kiss on the cheek. Coming home to him. Being at home with him. She could see it. And more than that, she wanted it.

"I can picture it, Sirius. I can picture it perfectly."


	31. Dreams and Party Planning

**Author's Note: So, this is my second chapter today. the names that Cassi mentions are, in fact, stars. **

Summertime passed quickly for the Sinclaire Sisters. For Drea, this meant endless parties and dates with Regulus. For Cassi, it was all in letters. Letters from Lily, from James, from Remus, from Marlzy, and, most of all, letters from Sirius.

James and Sirius frequently wrote her joint letters that made her laugh out loud.

It was late August when she received an owl of a different sort. It was a formal invitation to a party James' parents were hosting. She received, shortly afterwards, a letter from James and Sirius.

_Dear Cassi,_

_I hope you've already got the invitation, so I don't have to explain again. My parents are having a back to school party, __**blah blah blah, James is very exciting and all**__,__** but he really needs to learn to cut to the chase. What we're TRYING to say is- **__Sorry, the git stole my paper. I wanted to ask, no, beg you to come and to- __**Bring Evans, of course. What else would James ask for? It'd be like a early birthday present for him. But you really should come. I'm going to be there, so of course you'll come, I mean, why wouldn't-**__ Sorry, just can't keep the stupid paper away from this monstrosity. But please ask her to come. Beg, if you have to. I know you love me, Cass, that's why you'll do this for me. PLEASE!_

_Lots of love,_

_James_

_**Sirius**_

_**Ps its going to be semiformal, whatever that means.**_

_Pps it means, Paddy, to wear nice clothes._

_**Ppps ohhh…. BYE.**_

Cassi laughed at the letter for a good five minutes before she decided to answer immediately.

_Dear James and Sirius,_

_Of course I'll go. As Sirius said, why wouldn't I? James, I will ASK Lily if she'll come, but I don't know for sure. How many people did you say would be coming?_

_Love,_

_Cassi_

Satisfied with her response, she sent her tawny owl flying off into the night. With a sigh, she lay back on her bed. She was daydreaming before her head hit the pillow. She could just see, in her mind's eye, her and Sirius in ten years. They had an itty little boy, one who looked just like Sirius, and another on the way. They lived in a cosy little cottage in Godric's Hollow, by James and Lily. Sirius would work, but she would stay home with the babies.

The little boy would be named Caelum, following the star tradition of Sirius' family. The baby, who would be a girl, would be named Lyra. She would be just like her brother. She could see it, Sirius coming home to find a dinner on the table, and Cassi waiting for him. She had never been particularly ambitious, so it didn't bother her to stay at home with the children.

She would be like Molly Weasley, a friend of Mrs Potter's. She had just had her third boy. It would be perfect. She wanted it so badly. Remembering the superstition, she turned her face to the dark window. The old Victorian style house had a balcony off every bedroom, and it was there that Cassi now went. She looked up at the stars and quickly found Sirius. It was her favorite star, for obvious reasons. She took a deeps breath. She recited the children's rhyme.

"Starlight, star bright,

First star I see tonight,

I wish I may, I wish I might

Have the wish I wish tonight."

She closed her eyes and wished with all her heart for the images in her head to be real. She wanted nothing more.

Her owl tapped the window. She was surprised to see Meissa back already.

"Here, Meissa."

She grinned at the name. when she and Drea had gotten owls, they had named them after each other. Meissa was her sister's middle name, and her sister's owl was Alistar. Meissa brought another letter from James.

_Cassi,_

_It's no big deal, just a hundred or so people. Please, please, try to get Lily to come. I even wrote this in the bathroom so Sirius couldn't interfere! _

_Love,_

_James_

Cassi started at that number. A hundred people were no big deal? She never would understand the Potter logic. She decided not to reply. Instead, she wrote to Lily.

_Lily,_

_I know you're going to hate me for what I'm about to ask, but will you come to a party at the Potter's? I really need you there, just to keep James off my back and to keep him from getting completely wasted. Please please please! I'll even come and pick you up from your house!_

_Lots of Love_

_Cassi_

Satisfied, she sent the letter off to the Evans residence, which was a good deal farther away then the Potter Mansion. She wouldn't expect Meissa back before morning. With a sigh, she lay on her bed, allowing her dreams of a perfect life to lull her to sleep.


	32. Parties and Fighting

**Author's Note: So sorry this took so long, i've been on vacation. but now i'm back and ready for school. i've been reading a lot of classics lately, so i think my writing is a little different...i've also been watching civil war movies, which inspired this chapter...**

Cassi had never been to a party this big. The people filled the entire basement, and the upstairs parlor, sitting room, and family room. Her dark blue dress was something only Sirius would understand. Blue was her color. The dress she had chosen to wear was a short silk number with beading across the off-the-shoulder neckline. Lily had absolutely raved about it when they had gone dress shopping together.

That was a big surprise, that Lily was perfectly willing to go. Cassi didn't even have to beg. She had accepted immediately. Cassi had a weird feeling about that. She couldn't get over the idea that something about Lily's response that was fishy. She'd have to watch her best friend carefully.

The sitting room seemed to be the emptiest, so Cassi started her search for Sirius there. Within seconds, she had found Marlzy, Alice, and Remus. None of them could tell her where Sirius or James where. She left Lily with Remus, and set off into the basement to find Sirius.

She found him just outside the bathroom, downing a butterbeer. He turned to her as soon as he saw her coming.

"Cass! Baby, you're here!"

"Sirius, are you okay?"

"Course I am, why wouldn't I be?"

"Because you know I hate to be called baby."

"What? I can't hear you!"

Cassi heard a stifled giggle behind her. She turned around to face Marlzy.

"What's up with him?"

She laughed even more.

"Sirius and James had a bet that you and Lily would get here before Sirius could get drunk. James lost."

"Oh great. I have a drunk boyfriend and its not even ten yet."

Two hours later, Cassi was thoroughly annoyed. Sirius had been ridiculous, she had walked in on Alice and Frank, and James and Lily had disappeared almost an hour ago, arguing. She was sitting in the kitchen, complaining to Mrs Potter, when she started hearing screams. She stood straight up. Mrs Potter whipped around.

"Stay here, Cassi!" she shouted.

Cassi stood in the kitchen, unsure of herself. She had pulled out her wand, clenching it tightly in her right hand. She started blinking quickly, trying to fight back the tears that sprang up as Mrs Potter didn't come back, and the screams got louder. There was a thumping from just outside the door, running feet, then a shrill scream she recognized. It was Lily's. She threw the door open, ready to fight.

Lily was crouched on the floor, cowering behind James, who had his wand out. Even as Cassi watched, James dodged a spell. She ran forward, spell on her lips. But she ran into something, a bar across her chest. She whipped her head around, but the person, whoever it was, was staying behind her. She couldn't turn her head far enough to see past her blind eye. She went to scream, but a hand was clapped across her mouth.

"Shhhh."

She grabbed the hand across her mouth, about to bite down, when the person spoke.

"Cass, be quiet."

"Sirius?" she whispered back.

"Yeah."

"What's going on?"

"Death Eaters. They attacked."

"Oh, God."

"Shush."

James fired another spell before shouting to Lily.

"RUN!"

Lily stood up, getting ready to run. Another spell was fired, at James. Cassi screamed as the spell hit James in the chest. She froze. Sirius gripped his wand more tightly. They heard the pacing of feet. Lily had been sprinting for the door, but had stopped when James fell. She turned, eyes wide, mouth open. Sirius dove out in front of her as Cassi tackled Lily.

The masked Death Eater moved towards the four. He was laughing, low and loud. Sirius started dueling. After less than thirty seconds, it was obvious that Sirius couldn't win. Lily was bent over James, her wand lose in her hand. Cassi was completely focused on her boyfriend's duel. None of them noticed James regain consciousness.

Sirius was hit in the face with a spell, sending blood spurting across the wall. Cassi screamed loudly, and fired a spell. She was overpowered in seconds, the Death Eater sensing her distraction. James carefully aimed his wand.

"STUPEFY!"

The word reverberated around the hall. The spell hit the Death Eater straight in the chest. He fell with a solid thud. Everyone stared at James, who smiled before rolling over and wincing. Sirius staggered upright, hand pressed against the gash on his cheek.

"We have to get out of here!"

The teenagers looked at each other and agreed. Lily supported James, and they limped for the kitchen door.

Once outside, they could Apparate, and went to Lily's house. Lily knew her parents would understand, and Cassi thought they'd be safer in the Muggle world. So they went. Petunia had a fit, and Lily's mother nearly dissolved into hysterics at the sight of Sirius and James so beaten, but eventually, they all made it to Lily's room. The boys were technically staying next door in the guest room, but they were sitting with their backs against the wall, looking up at Lily and Cassi on the bed.

"What do you think happened to everyone?" James asked.

Cassi looked down.

"We won't know til the Ministry sorts everything out. I don't want to know."

Lily shivered.

"I don't either."

"Well, there's no use dwelling on it now. We won't know at least until tomorrow. Lets sleep while we can."

Sirius nodded, and gave Cassi a kiss goodnight. Lily squeezed James' hand, and he smiled. Then Lily turned the lights out, leaving everyone to their thoughts.


	33. Back to School and Nightmares

**AUthor's Note: So i'm gone for like, a month, and then i have two chapters in as many days. i'm already working on chapter 35, so review, and maybe they'll go up faster... :)**

It took the Ministry of Magic almost a week to sort out what exactly had happened at the Potter Estate that night. But what they found out the next day was the worst of all. James' parents had been killed. Julia Potter was killed defending the fireplace so that Ministry Aurors could safely pass through. Charles Potter was killed in a duel, trying to protect his son's friends.

James could hardly breathe when he found out, but, to everyone's surprise, the person he turned to was not Sirius or Cassi, or Remus, but Lily. And even more surprising, she was friendly to him.

"How could I not be?" she told Cassi when she was asked. "The boy just lost his entire family."

And so, the year at Hogwarts began with a cloud hanging over almost the entire seventh year, the entire school body, in fact. James was not the only one to lose family that night. Marlene McKinnon had lost her father, and Alice her aunt. The entire world seemed to feel sorry for the children whose lives had been endangered that night in August.

The steam was just clearing away as Lily and Cassi stood, side by side, watching the Hogwarts Express.

"It's the last time we're ever going to ride this thing, Lils."

"I know. I just can't get over it. We're almost done with Hogwarts, just one more year."

Cassi sighed.

"Yes, it's almost too much to handle."

"Cassi," Lily questioned, "What are you going to do after school?"

Cassi blushed. She shuffled her feet awkwardly.

"Well, Sirius kind of asked me to move in with him, so-"

"HE WHAT?" Lily shrieked.

"Ouch, watch the decibels, Lily."

Remus Lupin had come upon the group without their noticing. He was looking extremely tired, and Cassi wondered idly if it had anything to do with the fact his parents had forbidden him from leaving their sight for the entire summer after the Potter's disastrous party.

"What were you yelling about anyways?"

"Cassi, it seems, has been holding out on us. She never told me that Sirius offered for them to live together!"

"Sirius offered that?"

Marlzy had come upon the group as suddenly as Remus had. She was looking well, all things considered. Her long black hair was cut short, and her big eyes were just barely ringed by shadows. She smirked at Cassi.

"Ooh, taking the big step, are we? Isn't it normally the other way around?"

"Isn't what normally what way?"

"Oh Cassi. So naïve. I'll ask, shall I?"

At that, Marlzy turned to search the platform. Her eyes found Sirius standing with James by the entrance to the platform.

"OI! SIRIUS!" she yelled.

Sirius raised an eyebrow, but he and James hurried over.

"Yes, McKinnon?"

"Isn't it normally the other way around?"

"Isn't what normally what way?"

Marlzy smirked again.

"You both are so clueless. Don't you normally ask a girl to marry you before asking to move in together? Isn't that more gentlemanly?"

Both Sirius and Cassi blushed a bright red. Sirius was speechless. Marlzy laughed and walked away, shaking her head as she went.

"c'mon guys, let's find a compartment." Sirius mumbled.

Cassi nodded her head and practically ran onto the train.

It was almost time to get off the train. Cassi sat ,stroking Sirius' hair, watching the countryside flash by. Sirius was asleep, his head on Cassi's lap, legs stretched out across the seats. Lily sat quietly, reading a book, and James watched her, entranced. She didn't seem to be paying him any attention, but if anyone had been watching, they would have noticed the occasional flicker of green eyes to meet hazel ones, and the faint smile around her lips.

The feast went off smoothly, Dumbledore saying a few words about the tragedy at the Potter's, and then sending them off to bed. Cassi went willingly, happy to get into her own bed. The minute she lay down, she began dreaming about Sirius.

She was in that dreamy state between waking and sleeping, half thinking, half dreaming. Sirius featured in her thoughts. As always, it began easily, imagining their wedding. She started off with the dress, but the day dream quickly morphed into something far more sinister as she fell asleep.

_It was dark. The air was pierced by a scream. The darkness got lighter, ever so slowly, painfully so. Cassi started running. But before she had taken more than a few steps, she tripped and fell flat on her face. She had landed near something. She reached a hand out, and felt an arm. It was a person. She recoiled as she felt the dead, cold flesh. She shuddered. _

_She reached to wipe the hand on her pants, when she realized she was wearing a wedding dress. It was a lovely, glittering thing, quite the type of dress she wanted in real life. Or was this real? She couldn't tell anymore. Either this was a dream, or that past life, that life she lived at Hogwarts was a dream._

_ She stumbled forward a few paces before tripping again. This time, her feet were bound and tangled together in some kind of silky thread. It had tangled itself around her ankles as she shuffled forward to prevent falling again. She reached down to untangle herself, when she realized it was human hair that had itself tangled around her feet. She screamed, louder this time. _

_The slow light had revealed the scene to her, and she wished it hadn't. Lying around her were the bodies of her friends and family, radiating out as far as she could see, until it becameevery person she had ever seen. The hair was Lily's and the arm was Sirius'. She screamed loudly again, the noise echoing off the walls of the Great Hall, which she suddenly realized she stood in._

_ She couldn't stop screaming, event hough she felt like she was going to burst from the lack of air. She couldn't stop._

Cassi sat up with a jolt, chest heaving as she opened her mouth to scream again.

"Cassi!"

She turned her head. Her curtains were parted, and Lily's worried face stuck out, pale against the red.

"Are you alright? You were screaming!"

"I'm fine, just a nightmare."

Lily nodded, then turned to tell the other girls that nothing was wrong, and that they could go back to sleep. Cassi rubbed her hand against the bedclothes, trying desperately to get the feeling of death off her hand and out of her mind.


	34. News and Shopping

Seventh year was passing all too fast for Cassi's liking. It seemed that every time she turned around, there was another reminder that the year would be ending. There was the Hogsmeade schedule, the Halloween feast, and the fact that Lily and James had gotten together.

It had happened one day, quite out of the blue. Lily and James had walked into the common room, where Cassi and Sirius sat, holding hands. They had tried to make it to the stairs without their best friends noticing, but Sirius was too quick for that.

"JAMSIE! WHAT IS THIS?"

James stopped mid-step and slowly turned back around.

"Are you leaving me for EVANS?" Sirius shouted.

Both Lily and James winced, and Cassi covered her mouth in a vain attempt not to laugh.

"Uh, well, you see….HEY! You left me for Sinclaire over there a year ago!"

Sirius shrugged.

"I'm a player. People expect that from me. But you, Jamie, I thought you knew better, being Head Boy and all….makes you wonder what was happening on those late night rounds….."

James dove at Sirius, a smile on his face. As the boys wrestled, Cassi made her way over to Lily.

"You see what you've gotten yourself into?"

Lily sighed.

"I knew what I was getting myself into when I said yes."

"Speaking of which, I'm surprised you said yes. You do know what this means, don't you?"

"Oh no."

"Oh yes."

"You wouldn't do that to me, would you?"

"Yes, I would, I'm quite looking forward to it, actually."

"You're evil."

"I know."

The next day would be fun, but for now, Cassi had a James to interrogate, and a Sirius to attempt to control.

"Hey, Jamie, can we talk?"

James looked up, his glasses askew.

"Oh, sure, Cass."

"What about me?"

Sirius popped his head over the couch back.

"I can't trust you not to jump him."

"Oh. Good point. I'll go tease Remus that he lost the bet."

"Bet?" James asked. "What bet?"

"Got to go!"

"SIRIUS! WHAT BET?"

Cassi laughed before slinging an arm across James' shoulders.

"You probably don't want to know."

James gave her a look, and then smiled.

"You're probably right."

Cassi and James walked down the corridor outside the portrait hole.

"Well, you finally got her."

"I did. I can hardly believe it."

"I knew you would. I've been feeling this coming since this summer. She gave in too easily."

"Gave in to what?"

Cassi looked down, debating whether or not she should mention it.

"To going to your party, Jamie."

"Oh."

James' face fell, and he took off his glasses. He began polishing them on his shirt, a nervous habit that he did when someone was talking about something he really didn't want to talk about.

"Sorry to bring it up."

"No, its okay."

"I do want to know how you're holding up, though. If you want to tell me."

"Course I do, Cass. You're one of my best friends."

They had stopped and sat on a window seat with a nice view of the lake. Cassi rested her head against his shoulder.

"It's weird, you know? To know that they're never coming back. That they're gone for forever."

"Yeah, I do know."

James gave her a smile.

"And I know you don't want to talk about it. But I'll wait, because someday, you will want to talk about it, and I'll be there to listen."

Cassi hugged him, tightly, and he hugged her back.

"We should get going. I'm sure Lily wants to spend more time with her new boyfriend."

James grinned.

"Of course she does! Who wouldn't?"

Cassi rolled her eyes, and the pair started walking back to the common room.

The rest of the month passed without much incident, unless you counted Lily's announcement the next day, and the fact that there was one day where no Slytherin could walk around without a frilly bow. But other than those few incidents, nothing very exciting.

The time for the annual Christmas ball was approaching. It was a tradition started by the generation before the current one. It was a favorite among the girls, and a horror for the boys. So December 20th found Sirius and James shivering on the streets of Hogsmeade.

Lily and Cassi were inside, trying on dress after dress, but they had kicked James and Sirius out onto the streets, so they wouldn't see their outfits. The ball was going to be a masquerade, and no one was supposed to be able to recognize each other.

"I like this one."

Cassi was trying on her umpteenth mask. Lily rolled her eyes.

"Why don't you pick a dress first, then a mask."

"Because I want a cool mask, and what if my favorite mask doesn't match my dress?"

"We both know you're going to wear dark blue, so why are you even trying on a black mask?"

"Because I'm not going to wear dark blue this time. I want to confuse Sirius."

Cassi smiled brilliantly.

"You should wear dark blue, though, Lily."

Lily smiled.

"Maybe I will."

Two hours later they both had dresses and masks, and Sirius and James both had colds.

The night of the ball was quickly arriving. James had been trying to get Lily to tell him what she was wearing, but she was holding up by arguing. Sirius was trying rather a different tactic. He was trying to seduce it out of Cassi. But she was holding up even better than Lily, only smiling mysteriously when asked.

She had told no one what she would be wearing, but she and Drea had it figured out.

The ball came too quickly for Drea. She had her outfit perfectly planned. Bellatrix didn't approve, but she had had a fit of resistance, and worn it anyways. Now, it was the night of, and she was sitting at her dressing table, tying on her mask.

Cassi and Lily had decided to go down last and see if James and Sirius, who had already gone down, would be able to find them. Lily was sure they would be able to, but Cassi wasn't so sure.

Lily smiled and twirled around.

"What do you think, Cass?"

Cassi smiled at her friend. The dark blue suited Lily perfectly. Her hair was elegantly spun up, twisted and braided back around itself. White flowers added the accent in her hair, and her mask was a simple white one with crystal beading.

Cassi was another story. Her dress was dark green. It clung to her waist, before exploding into flowing layers of green. It easily reached her feet. Her mask was black with peacock feathers adorning the side, floating out into space. It was ostentatious and beautiful. Her long hair hung in perfect curls down her back, no impediments to stop it from reaching her waist.

She was confident it would take Sirius some time to recognize her.

The two girls took each other's arms and started their descent into the packed Great Hall.


	35. A Ball to Remember

"Hello there, Miss."

Cassi spun around. Standing before her was a young man in black, like so many other young men. But his dark hair was smoothed back, and gray eyes sparkled from under his silver mask.

"Regulus."

It wasn't a question, it was undoubtedly him. The gray eyes were just like Sirius', but he wasn't quite as tall as Sirius.

"Care to dance, Cassi?"

Cassi grinned. This would really throw Sirius off the trail. She agreed, and Regulus swept her out onto the dance floor. They danced to a waltz, noting that only purebloods were dancing. Halfbloods and Muggleborns weren't exactly drilled on the proper way to execute a waltz.

Cassi noticed Lily standing against the wall, flirting with a dark ahired boy in a red mask that she assumed was James. She caught a glimpse of a girl who might have been Marlzy talking to a boy that looked like Remus, maybe. She saw a girl, undoubtedly Jade Huxley, and a boy who was probably Peter. She saw no trace of Sirius.

"Reg, do you know what your brother was wearing?"

"Yes, I do. I assume you know what Drea was planning to wear?"

"Yes, I do."

"So, the way I see it, we both know something the other wants to know. Barter?"

Cassi shook her head.

"You have to find your own fiancée. I'm not telling. But I'll give you a clue. You won't expect it."

The dance ended. Cassi curtsied, and Regulus bowed.

"What's the clue?"

"That its unexpected."

"Ah."

Regulus walked away, a confused look on his face. Cassi glanced towards the door. She could see Drea, her black taffeta dress swishing, and her black mask glittering under the lights. She gave her sister a half smile, which was returned by an impish grin.

"May I have this dance?"

She was startled by a boy with black dress robes and a red mask.

"James."

The boy, definitely James, grinned.

"You got it. How'd you guess? My radiating charm?"

"No, I could smell your arrogance."

James pouted.

"Not really. I saw you talking to Lily, and I assumed she'd only talk to you with that look on her face."

The dance had started, and Cassi and James twirled in the familiar steps. Often, Cassi forgot that James was just as much a pureblood as she was, or Sirius, which explained why he could dance.

"What look, exactly, was Lily wearing?"

Cassi smirked. Poor boy.

"Like she wanted to jump you."

James gulped.

"In a bad way?"

"Not at all."

He sighed with relief. Cassi continued.

"James, you definitely know what Sirius is wearing. Won't you tell me?"

"Nope. I promised I wouldn't tell."

Cassi pouted and grumped, but James wouldn't give in. the dance ended, and the next song was not exactly a waltz. The entire school, fourth year and above, was suddenly on the dance floor. Cassi slid between the people, trying to find someone she knew.

"Cassi?"

It was a question. She turned her head. A boy stood there, golden mask complementing his dark blue robes. Dark hair fell over the edge of his mask.

"Sirius?"

The boy grinned.

"You got it right!"

Cassi smiled.

"You found me! I didn't think you could."

"I will always be able to find you."

"I'm sure you can."

Cassi smiled, and Sirius smiled back.

It was almost midnight when they left the Great Hall, laughing.

"I can't believe Lily actually did that! The butterbeer must have gone to her head!"

Sirius laughed deeply.

"I know, it was ridiculous."

They had stopped by a window. The Forbidden Forest was spread out in front of them. Sirius smiled.

"Cassi, don't you think this would be an excellent night to go out on the roof?"

Cassi grinned in reply.

The wind that swept across the roof was cold, but Sirius had wrapped them in his cloak, and Cassi was pressed against his side. She smiled.

"It's beautiful."  
And it was. The full moon reflected across the lake, lighting up the grounds like a new dawn, here at midnight. The clock chimed out midnight. On the twelfth strike, Sirius turned to Cassi.

"Cassi, I have a question for you."

Cassi nodded. Sirius took a deep breath. He looked at his feet, at their entwined hands, at the lake, everywhere but her face. Finally he stared straight up at the moon.

"Sirius, just ask."

Sirius took another deep breath. He took his hand back from her and plunged it into his pocket.

"I was going to wait for the springtime, but this is just too perfect."

He took one last deep breath, and took his hand out of his pocket.

"Cassieopia Alistar Sinclaire, will you marry me?"

He opened his fist, and in the palm of his hand, there rested a diamond ring. Cassi's hands flew to her mouth.

"S-S-Sirius, you're serious?"

"I have never been more serious in my entire life."

Cassi took a deep breath of her own.

"Yes."

Sirius looked up at her.

"Yes?"

"Yes, I will marry you. I love you."

Sirius gave her a smile that outshone the moon.


	36. Endings

Of all the people Cassi was going to have to tell about her engagement, her mother was going to be the hardest. Everyone else was expecting it, but her mother still didn't even know that she and Sirius were dating, much less that they were now engaged. James had claimed he called it, Lily had freaked out, and Marlzy had smirked the entire time. But now, it was almost the end of the year, and it was time to tell her mother.

"Don't worry, love. I'll go with you."

Sirius squeezed her hand. She was leaning back into his chest, his arms around her, his breath in her ear. The lake shimmered in the hot sunlight. They were sitting under a tree, watching the first years run around the edge of the lake. They had been talking about everything, and anything.

They'd talked about family, friends, hopes, dreams, aspirations, plans. Cassi had told him about her dream for a happy family, and Sirius had told her about his secret wish to be a Healer.

They were perfectly content in each other's company, and in that place where the connection between them was almost telepathic. Sirius seemed to have picked up on her worries about telling her mother. In the last few months, she had gotten accustomed to being Sirius' fiancée. She understood now what Drea must have gone through for years.

"Thanks. That means a lot to me."

"I mean, I'd be heartbroken if she killed you!"

Cassi laughed.

"She'd be much more likely to kill you for 'defiling' her eldest daughter."

She settled back into him, and closed her eyes.

"This means I'll be entirely dependent on you, you know. There's no walking away from it now."

"I wouldn't want to walk away, even if I could. I love you, and I'm going to marry you."

Cassi smiled happily.

"I know. I love you too."

Cassi slowly drifted into sleep, Sirius stroking her hair.

The end of the year was approaching at an alarming speed. Lily and James were swamped with graduation planning, and keeping the younger years out of trouble. Lily was practically frantic with all the studying she was doing and everyone seemed to be following her lead. Cassi had given it up to chance. She had studied all she could, and now it was up to fate to decide if she passed her N.E.W.T.S.

Sirius was the only one who seemed to actually not care about his N.E.W.T.S. When Cassi asked him about it, he said that he'd inherited enough money to last his entire life, so why worry about it? Cassi had merely rolled her eyes at him.

The tension all seemed to come to a head in late May, so almost everyone could be found indoors. Everyone except Cassi and Sirius, that is. They took the time to roam the grounds freely, without any interference. Sirius showed Cassi his Animagus form in depth, and Cassi spent a lot of time playing with a big black dog, deep in the Forbidden Forest. Lily often wondered where her friend disappeared to, but Cassi would never tell her.

The weeks seemed to rush by, with scarcely enough time to draw breath. The exams came, and Cassi took them, and then it was over, just like that. They were boarding the Hogwarts Express for the last time.

Lily was crying softly into James' shoulder as they watched Hogsmeade disappear behind them. Cassi was numb. She couldn't believe it was over. And most of all, she couldn't believe what she was about to have to tell her family.

She and Sirius had it worked out so she would tell her mother the day after they returned, and at 5 o'clock, Sirius would come to pick her up and take her to his house. Sirius assured her that it wouldn't be as bad as she thought, but Cassi wasn't so sure. She had seen her mother change a lot since Sirius had last met her.

She had made up her mind to tell Drea that night, so her sister could be prepared for the next day.

The hours on the train passed as quickly as all time seemed to be doing these days. There wasn't enough time to say everything to everyone, not enough time to say goodbye to everything and to steel herself for the moment when she would say the words that would change her life forever.

Too early, it seemed, the train was pulling into the station, the students collecting their bags and trunks, saying goodbye. The seventh years were the slowest to leave. Marlzy, Alice, Remus, Peter, Dorcas, Frank, James, Lily, Sirius, and Cassi all gathered together by the exit. They looked at each other. Everyone was saying goodbye, promising to write, to get together soon, but Cassi could feel, in her heart, that this was the last time they would all be together. That the world out there was too harsh for such a delicate group to hold up.

Cassi exited towards the Muggle world, where her mother would be waiting. She kissed Sirius on the cheek, made him promise to get her tomorrow, and then exited for her waiting family.

Drea was already waiting for her by the time she finally made it through the barrier. She had her hand on her hip, and her eyebrows were raised.

"What took you so long, sis? Saying goodbye to a certain someone?"

"Oh, like you didn't take just as long. I saw you and Reg."

Drea blushed a bright red at the mention of her fiancé. Cassi smirked.

"We better find Mother, she'll be furious we kept her waiting."

Drea started off, Cassi trailing behind. Cassi knew that soon, being late wasn't all their mother would be furious about.


	37. Reactions and Rescues

**Author's Note: SO lets have a vote. a few more chapters of fluff, or more plot, after this? Anyways, this story will be done in 5-10 chapters, depending on the vote... :) Review!**

Cassi often wondered, on the brief trip home, during dinner, and afterwards, what exactly her mother's reaction would be. She wondered, because her mother had changed so much in recent years that she hardly knew her any more. Drea's reaction, though, had been unexpected.

"You're WHAT?" Drea shrieked.

"Shush! I'm engaged."

"To who? Oh, now there's a stupid question. Sirius?"

Cassi nodded.

"You know Mother will murder you."

Cassi nodded again.

"But, if he makes you happy, I guess I'm okay with that. Actually, come to think of it, I'm thrilled! We'll be sisters!"

"Drea, we already are sisters!"  
"Well, yes, but now we'll also be sisters in law! HA! Mrs. Black is your mother-in-law too!"  
Drea crowed in excitement.

"Oh, I can't wait to tell Reg! I'll go tell him right now!"

With that, Drea swept out of the room, leaving behind a slightly shell-shocked Cassi.

Cassi hadn't expected her sister's reaction to be quite so joyful. She had expected congratulations, but Drea had honestly seemed happy that she and Sirius were getting married. She and Sirius were getting married. She could hardly wrap her brain around it. All her dreams, they weren't so far off now, they were actually achievable.

Needless to say, Cassi was of two minds about the next day.

On the one hand, she'd have to tell her mother that she was planning on marrying a man that her mother would whole heartedly disapprove of.

On the other hand, she'd be moving in with Sirius, the beginning of all her dreams. And she knew exactly how to celebrate it. She would give him the one thing she'd been holding off.

Cassi could hardly sleep from excitement and nerves.

The next morning came with a light shower of rain. Cassi sat in the Library, skipping breakfast. She wandered the oak shelves, running her hands across the books that she had read since childhood. Most were bound in leather, and were large and heavy, but there were a few of Drea's beloved paperbacks, a collection of cloth bound romances, belonging to her mother, and, Cassi's personal favorites, the exotic spell books, bound in every manner of binding that could be found, from tree bark to metal to woven grass.

The Library had been her refuge her entire life. It was where she had hidden after her father's rages, when she was punished for pranking as a child, and where she had spent two whole days after she found out her father was dead. It was her haven. Her mother never ventured in, and her sister came only when she ran out of paperbacks from her room. So it was the perfect place to be alone, to contemplate what she was about to have to do.

Her mother called her in personally for lunch. Cassi was the striking image of her mother, with the exception of the eyes. Aphrodite Sinclaire was tall, with golden blond hair that was streaked with gray and hazel eyes so light and piercing that they seemed to see straight through you. An imposing woman and hardly one you say no to, no matter how much you wish to. So Cassi followed her mother into the dining room.

Drea was already seated at the left-hand side of the table, two seats down. Aphrodite took her place at the right hand side of the table, and Cassi sat at the first seat on the left hand side. They had sat like that since Drea was born, and they would sit like that forever, it seemed. But to Cassi, well, she knew it was her last day sitting in this formation. It only made it all the more terrifying.

"Cassi, you look ill." Her mother commented, after lunch was finished, and they were all sipping tea.

"Well, Mother, I am feeling rather ill."

"Would you care to lie down?"

"Not that kind of ill."

"Cassi, what is it that makes you act in this way? I demand to know."

"Mother, you see…" Cassi looked down at her hands, taking a deep breath.

"Go on."  
"I'm engaged."

"What?" her mother's voice was cold and deadly.

"I'm engaged. To S-Sirius Black. And he's coming at five to pick me and my things up."

"No, he is not. You will not be leaving, much less living with, or marrying, that poor excuse for a pureblood."

"I am, and I will."

"No."

"Mother, I am of age. You can't stop me."

"You must see sense, Cassieopia. I will force you to see it. You are correct, I can't stop you if that is your will, but you shall never cross this threshold again if you leave today."

"I know. I was expecting that."

"You insolent girl! Be gone from my sight."

Obediently, Cassi rose, placed her napkin by her plate, and left the dining room. She walked with a measured pace up the stairs, across the hall, and to her room. She closed the door. Unable to stand it anymore, she collapsed onto her bed. It was 1 o'clock. Four hours until Sirius came to rescue her from this place forever.

It was 4:58. Cassi was sitting on a stool in the front hall, watching desperately through the frosted glass for Sirius. He finally came at 5:01.

Sirius was poised to ring the doorbell when the door flew open from the inside. A distraught Cassi flung herself into his arms.

"You're late." She muttered.

"By a minute. It's not too long, is it?"

"It's too long in my book."

"Sorry, Cass. What's with the stalker behavior?"

"Oh, I was afraid my mother wouldn't let you in, she was really angry at me."

"So you staked out the front door because…."

"I'd be able to sneak you in before the doorbell rang."

"Oh."

"We are going to have to face my mother before we leave, but I want to be ready when we do."

"Okay."

Cassi didn't understand how Sirius could be so calm. Her heart was beating a mile a minute as she led him up the stairs to her room. He shrunk her trunk and tucked it under his arm. Then they made their way down to the sitting room.

"Mother."  
Mrs. Sinclaire looked up from the book she was reading.

"Cassi." Her face darkened. "Sirius."

"Mother, we're leaving."

"I understand you've made your choice. I will never let you back in once you walk out of that door."

"I understand."

"Good. Now leave."

Cassi obeyed her mother one last time, pacing her steps down the hall to the front door. She opened it. She heard a noise, a half-choked sob, from the top of the stairs. It was Drea. Cassi smiled at her sister and walked out of her childhood home for the last time.


	38. New Houses

**A/N: not quite as long as i had originally planned, but hey, it's a chapter.**

Cassi had decided she loved the house the minute she laid eyes on it. It was one of those modern, white affairs on the outskirts of London. She raced up the stairs, before turning to watch Sirius struggle up the steps with her trunk.

"Oof, what do you have in here, Cass, the entire Sinclaire Mansion?"

"Nope, just everything I own."

"Oh."

Sirius finally reached the top step and handed her a key. She was practically squealing with excitement. She slotted the key into the lock and turned. The door swung open, revealing a house that was better than her wildest dreams.

The creamy hardwood hallway led straight to the back of the house, stopping once, briefly, at the door to what must be a kitchen.

The hardwood stopped at a set of stairs, carpeted in a soft cream. They led down, just two of them, to a sunken living room. The mismatched furniture seemed to add to the charm.

The kitchen was beautiful. Tan tiles were cool underfoot, soft cream cabinets and modern appliances that Cassi had no idea how to use. She raced through the door in the back of the kitchen, and into a light blue dining room, done with dark wood and silk curtains. She slowed momentarily at the table. It was a square, heavy one, inlaid with two overlapping stars. Well, one large star, and a smaller constellation set in the middle.

"Sirius, what's on the table?"

"Oh." Sirius appeared, blushing slightly. "It's a gift from my uncle. The star is Sirius, and the constellation is Cassiopeia. He thought it would, uh, represent us well."

Cassi raised an eyebrow.

"Didn't your uncle die before we got together?"

"Yeah, well, Uncle Alphie had a sort of sixth sense about these things."

"Oh. Well, it's pretty."

"You want to see upstairs?"

Cassi's eyes lit up.

Upstairs were three bedrooms. The pink one, the blue one, and the white one. All three were lovely, but it was when Cassi walked into the white room that she lost her breath. It had dark wood floors, contrasting starkly with the white walls and the white satin curtains. The furniture was all dark wood, and very classic. The bed had a canopy over it, which allowed white tulle to hang around it like a dream. Cassi sighed and flopped onto the bed.

"I want to sleep in this room!"

It was late when Cassi and Sirius finally got to bed. The house felt more like a home, what with Cassi's clothes in the dresser and her things spread around the house. She had cooked dinner, mostly with her wand.

"How," Sirius had wondered, "is someone so abysmal at Potions this good at cooking?"

Cassi had hit him upside the head for saying that, but it was all forgotten now, in the quiet darkness of the night. Tomorrow, james and Lily and Remus and Peter were coming over, but right now, it was Cassi and Sirius time.

Cassi snuggled down into the comforter. The house was cool, even though it was summer. She couldn't believe how warm Sirius felt next to her, and she snuggled deeper to enjoy that warmth.

"Cass?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you."

"I love you too, Siri."


	39. Letters and Meetings

**1981, September 21**

The house was silent. It seemed to Cassi that it had been an age since Sirius had gone to their room. She stared at the letter again.

_Mr. S. Black,_

_We regret to inform you that your brother has gone missing. If you have any information whatsoever as to Mr. R. Black's whereabouts, please contact us._

_Deepest condolences,_

_Bartemius Crouch_

_Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement_

Cassi glared at the words on the page, as though willing them to disappear instead of Regulus. She wanted desperately to call James and have him come and comfort Sirius, but she knew it wasn't safe to contact him. Or Lily, for that matter. So she did the next best thing. She wrote to her sister.

_Drea,_

_I know its been a long time since we last talked, and I'm sure you have more than enough on your plate, what with the whole Regulus situation, but I was wondering if we might meet for tea in Hogsmeade. I need to talk to you, as a sister._

_Please, Drea._

_Love,_

_Cassi_

It wasn't much, but there wasn't much to say. She couldn't tell Drea what was really on her mind, couldn't convey all of that in a letter, not to mention it wasn't safe. But at least she could try to talk to Drea face to face for the first time since she'd left school. She had tried contacting her sister several times, even gone to the Sinclaire Mansion when Drea was said to be there. But it had always been Regulus who answered.

**1981, October 28**

It had been almost a month since Cassi had written her letter. She had gotten a reply back almost immediately, but it was difficult for both Cassi and Drea to slip out of their respective houses without anyone noticing. It was only three days until Halloween.

The sisters met at a teashop in Hogsmeade. Cassi was there first. She sat at the table and watched the leaves swirl by outside, the laughter from the Hogwarts students ringing in her ears. How many years had it been since she was one of them? Only four, though it felt much longer. Four years. How much could change in four years? Everything, apparently. Lily and James, whom she could remember fighting for the last time about this very weekend four years ago, were now married. Remus was writing a book, and Peter had held down a job for more than a month. And Sirius? Well, Sirius had achieved his goal of becoming an Auror. But herself?

Cassi had to ask herself, how close was she to achieving her own dreams? Not the trivial ones of fortune and luck, but the real ones. The ones that nested in her heart and refused to be forgotten. She could still see the little dark haired children running through the halls of their home. How close was she to that dream, the dream of family? Closer, she thought with a smile, then anyone else realized.

Then the door chimed. She glanced up for what had to be the fourth time in the past ten minutes. There she was. Cassi didn't know how she knew her, but she did. And yet she didn't at the same time. The short blond curls fell with the same grace, brushing high, familiar cheekbones. The habit she had of licking her lips when she was nervous was obviously still there. The dream blue eyes, widened slightly in fear and surprised when they came to rest on Cassi's face, were familiar to her as her own. But there was something different. This was no longer the little girl she had known and loved, and played with as a child. This was a young woman who, if her eyes were anything to go by, had suffered impossible heartbreak.

Drea's blue eyes widened even more as they took in her sister's appearance. Cassi sighed, before standing and walking over to Drea where she stood, stock still, in the doorway.

"We have an awful lot to talk about, Drea."

It had been almost two hours. The two sisters were now at ease in each other's company, much to the general relief. They had talked about all the important stuff first. Sirius, and Regulus, and even the Black sisters had come up in conversation to the point that they could no longer avoid discussing it. It turned out that Drea didn't hate Cassi for leaving her, and Cassi didn't hate Drea for loving a Death Eater, and they found that, in general, there were an awful lot of mistaken intentions going around.

When they parted ways, each to her own house, Cassi finally stopped to think about what her sister had said. Drea, it seems, was pregnant. This didn't come as too much of a shock, because Drea was engaged, after all, but Cassi couldn't help feeling that, if Sirius knew, he would pound his brother to a pulp, had he not been missing. Therefore, for once in her life, Cassi decided to keep a secret from Sirius.

It wasn't all that hard. Sirius had been to visit the Potters that day, and was simply gushing about James and Lily and Harry. Especially about Harry. Sirius was completely gaga for Harry, and Cassi found herself wondering what he would be like with children of his own. She grinned quietly to herself as Sirius explained the finer points of a prank he and James had pulled on Remus.

Cassi went to bed happy for once. She slept soundly by Sirius' side. It would be a long time before she slept soundly again.

**A/N: The second to last chapter is here! I feel real bad about the looooong wait, but chapter 40, the final chapter, should be up soon! And I really do mean that. **

**PS if you want to know what happens, or at least some of it, you can read my story _Secrets, _a oneshot...**


	40. Endings and Beginnings

**A/N: So, I got this up earlier then I thought I would. I used the text from Secrets, but added some things, edited some things, and took down Secrets. THERE WILL BE NO SEQUEL. Not yet, anyways. If you want to know what happens to Cassi, you can read Love Always, Rory, a continuation of sorts. It's been fun!**

She had to tell him. She just had to. There was no use keeping a secret, and it could destroy her. What if she woke up one day unable to tell him? What if it turned out like Drea, and she never got the chance? Times were hard. There could be no delay.

Cassi licked her lips. She shuffled to silverware in the drawer for what must have been the hundredth time. Sirius looked up from his work, seriously annoyed. He gave her a look, to which she rolled her eyes. Cassi decided that it was no use trying to do the dishes; she'd only annoy Sirius. Fiddling with her engagement ring, she leaned over to the radio, tapping it with her wand until she found the right station. It was Halloween, so everyone was celebrating. Subtly, of course, and under the shadow of the Dark Lord's rise to power. She shivered as she remembered that evening, almost eleven years ago, when she had stared straight into the eyes of the man himself, if he could even be called that. She listened apprehensively to the station as it told of more deaths, more missing people, more unidentified bodies. She turned it off, not even listening for a full minute. She sat and stared at the fire.

It was almost midnight when Sirius got ready to leave. "Cass, I'm going to go check on Peter, okay? I'll be back by one." She had nodded, and Sirius had kissed her goodbye. She wanted to tell him right then and there, her secret. But she didn't. It would have to wait. She sighed as Sirius Apparated from the house.

It was two am, and Cassi was dozing lightly in the chair beside the fireplace. She was having a horrible dream about rats and screaming babies and blinding green light. She woke with a start. Sitting up, she rubbed her hand over her eyes. Her eyes found the clock on the mantle and she gasped. 2:07? Sirius always promised to be home by 1, at the latest. It was more than an hour later, and no sign of Sirius. What had happened? What disaster had kept him out so late? Was he hurt? Was he captured? Was he….dead? That hurt to even think about. Cassi gasped, because the idea, the worry, felt like a nail driven into her heart, seeping poison into her blood until she was completely saturated with it. She heard every creak the house made, every tap of branched against windowpanes, hoping that one of those noises would turn into Sirius.

He did appear, miraculously, around 2:34. He was crying when he came. Cassi shot out of her chair. "Sirius? Siri, what's the matter? Why are you crying? What happened? Damnit, Sirius, speak!" She stared at his face, until he opened his mouth, words falling out as if he couldn't wait to get them out of his mouth, as if that would heal whatever pain he was feeling. "James and Lily, dead. Peter betrayed us all. Harry's alive. They took him to his aunt's. James and Lily are murdered. Dead. Gone." With this, he stopped talking. Cassi felt her heart drop in her chest. James and Lily were dead. Oh gods. James and Lily were dead.

Sirius and Cassi slept on the living room floor, curled up with each other, unable to move or speak. The pain of James and Lily's deaths was just barely beginning to settle into a spot in her heart, a spot Cassi could no longer feel. She was numb. It was impossible. Sirius had been mistaken. But she knew he wasn't. The clock chimed 10. Sirius stirred and woke up, leaving Cassi on the floor. "I'm going to find him. I'm going to find Peter and make him pay." The look on his face scared Cassi. She didn't recognize him anymore. He wasn't the Sirius she had known since age nine. He was someone different.

Cassi shook her head. "Yes, Cass. I have to. I have to try, at least. I'm going to make him bleed through the nose for his." Cassi stood up, shakily, whispering, "Wait!" Sirius must not have heard, or at least pretended he didn't, because seconds later, he was gone. Cassi whispered, "I'm pregnant" to an empty room.

All day, Cassi had been unable to sit still. She was worried about Sirius. Worried that if Peter really had betrayed them, that he would have Death Eaters on his side and they would kill Sirius. At 12:37, she turned on the radio.

By 12:39, her life was over.

The radio announcer said: "This just in, folks, it seems that there may not be enough to celebrate just yet. In the light of the Potter's murder last night, this new evidence is shocking. One of their long time friends-" here Cassi gripped the arms of her chair so hard she thought they would break-" has been accused of the murder of thirteen people with a single curse. 12 Muggles and one wizard. That wizard was none other than Peter Pettigrew, school friend of James Potter. The saddest part is Sirius Black, another longtime friend of the Potters, committed these murders. Black has been sent to Azkaban, with a life sentence." The time then was 12:39, and Cassi knew she would never live again. Sirius was gone, and in the worst way. To Azkaban.

The news that came in the next few days was astounding. Cassi felt as though everything in the world had decided to come crashing down around her. Every second, every breath, was agony. On November 2, only one day after Sirius' betrayal, Drea was found, not that she had been missing. She was found dead on the sidewalk just outside Grimmauld place. Cassi could picture it in her head. Her little sister, lying, face up, on the wet pavement, eyes open and unseeing, her golden curls mixing with the mud.

Such thoughts tortured her.

It was no better when, the very next day, news of Frank and Alice Longbottom's fates came. She couldn't imagine what Frank and Alice could look like, but she knew all too well what Bellatrix would have looked like, madness shining in her dark eyes.

Everyone was gone. She was alone.

Cassi packed. She was leaving the country, going to France. It would be safer there. She mulled over Sirius' crime in her head. Was he guilty? Did the man of that morning really have it in him to kill so many? Or was this somehow a trick? Sirius had never hurt anyone before, and now, 13 murders at once? That couldn't have been Sirius. She was missing some vital piece of information, something that would make it all make sense again. She sighed. She would probably never know. She left the house with a single suitcase. She didn't come back.

Eight and a half months later, Alessander James Black was born.

**Thanks for reading all the way to the bitter end!**


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